Handicapped Love
by valkyrievamp289
Summary: What happens when a samurai loses his hands? With both arms paralyzed, Kanda has no choice but to surrender to the excessive care of a certain Allen Walker. YULLEN.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Ack, ****-le gasp- this is my very first D. Gray-man fanfic evah! And it's YULLEN too, which totally rocks!! Wheee~ *A***

**I've read about fics wherein either Kanda or Allen were blind, but I've not come across one where they had something as essential for battle as their hands to be destroyed or unusable. Hehe! Especially if it was a swordsman like Kanda! XDD;;  
**

**Please read, REVIEW, and Enjoy!!**

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**Handicapped Love**

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_Chapter 1_

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Rocks exploded in every direction, as dozens of poisonous bullets broke through the coarse stonewall of the barren valley. It was late at night, and the thick forests blocked out the docile silver light from the waning moon.

Kanda ran away from the flying debris, a battalion of akuma right behind him. Things _didn't _go according to plan, and now, the samurai exorcist was facing a very complicated situation. Destroying those akuma was a pretty easy job for someone like him, but with a Noah involved, it was a different matter. That gray-skinned bastard with the brown hair was once again pestering him, and as Kanda held on to that glowing Innocence fragment he had retrieved only a couple of minutes ago, a series of annoyed profanities streamed in and out of his mind.

_Shit,_ his mind hissed as he came upon a dead end.

The akuma, seeing that he was trapped, stopped firing bullets and began to surround him. They were so many that soon, Kanda was not able to see a piece of the midnight sky. He placed the Innocence securely into his pocket, and raised Mugen towards his enemies. He was determined to fight for the Innocence until he died. And _that _was not very easy, considering that the lotus had a couple more petals left.

"Come," he growled, his eyes sharp and brave, no hint of fear or intimidation. They were purely of a warrior's eyes.

All the surrounding akuma simultaneously loaded their huge cannons, pointed the nuzzle directly at Kanda's lonesome figure. They covered every blind spot, making it impossible for the exorcist to escape unscathed. However, just as Kanda expected them to start firing, an order rang through the minds of every akuma.

_Let me handle this. Leave,_ the order stated, and the akuma, recognizing the voice of the Noah of Pleasure, immediately retreated.

If Kanda had been perplexed about the akuma's sudden actions, his face did not show it. Instead, his dark eyes stared at the figure that stepped towards him. A presence that was more revolting than the akuma themselves.

"Ah, you don't need to glare at me like that," Tyki mused, a smirk playing on his lips. Such an expression aggravated Kanda further, and certain nerves began to pop out of his forehead. Those bothersome black butterflies were flying around him once again, looking so innocently devious at the same time. "Just give me the Innocence, and we'll be on our way. No harm done," he added, placing an obviously false reassuring smile on his gray face. Those golden irises shrewdly stared at Kanda's pissed face, feeling satisfied at the effect he was inducing.

"Shut up," Kanda snapped, tightening his grip on the handle of Mugen. Without any further hesitation, the dark-haired exorcist lunged towards the smiling Noah, his dark eyes filled with the pure intent of murder. Unlike that beansprout, Kanda didn't give a damn if the Noah were still human. Anyone who sides with the akuma is an enemy. Period.

Raising the sword high up, Kanda jumped and brought the sword down, aiming for the Noah's head, with intentions of splitting his head into half. Unfortunately, Tyki had already anticipated such a straightforward attack and easily dodged, and with one wave of his hand, a horde of aggressive Tease came down upon the dark-haired samurai.

Kanda instinctively jumped away, his attention now caught by the malicious butterflies. "Kaichuu Ichigen!" he announced, releasing the illusion of dozens of mutant creatures that were reasonably called "Hell's insects." However, this momentary diversion was enough for Tyki to travel through the ground and sneak right behind the exorcist.

Kanda, immediately sensing the Noah's presence, automatically twisted his body and swung his sword towards Tyki's direction. But before he could land a hit, his eyes saw the presence of two gloved hands sticking out of his shoulders. Immediately, Kanda froze. _What the –_

"I warned you," Tyki cooed, and sharply took his hands off Kanda's body. Immediately, Kanda felt a slicing moment of pain that made him gasp, but a second later, he could feel _nothing._ Both his arms had become completely numb.

Mugen fell from his paralyzed hand, landing on the rocky ground with a loud clang. He stared at his immotile hands with shock and disbelief, desperately trying to make his fingers move. But they wouldn't. No matter how much Kanda willed his hand to even twitch, they wouldn't move.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk," Tyki sighed, playing with the Innocence fragment that he had stolen from Kanda in that brief moment of contact. "You know, I wouldn't have done that to you if you just gave us the Innocence earlier. I hate wasting time, you know? Ah, well. You did get to destroy almost all of the Tease I have, so as a reward, I'll let you live, and keep your own Innocence. However,"

A wicked smile appeared on his gray face as Tyki stared at Kanda's limp arms. "I wonder how you'll be able to use your Innocence without your hands. Too bad you aren't a parasite-type. Without your hands, that sword is useless. That's why for now, I won't be destroying it. Be grateful."

"You bastard!" Kanda hollered, and charged at Tyki, attempting to land a hit at the Noah. But the unbalanced weight of his dead arms threw him off balance, making the kick very clumsy indeed. Tyki just had to take one step in order to dodge it. _Damn, _Kanda inwardly cursed, his eyes glaring murderously at the smirking Noah.

"It's better to stop now, than to look more of an idiot, Mister Samurai," Tyki mockingly stated. His gloved hands enclosed around the Innocence fragment, and Kanda cursed loudly as he helplessly witnessed the destruction of another Innocence fragment. One of Road's doors appeared behind Tyki, and the Noah adjusted his hat, gave Kanda a mocking bow, and departed from there.

The samurai was left all alone, with both arms paralyzed and useless. An endless stream of swear words came out of his mouth as he kicked Mugen upward and caught it with his chin, making him look like a retard. _Dammit, I'll have to depend on Komui to fix this, _he thought as he walked back to the village where he found the Innocence. _But I'll have to contact Headquarters first._

Kanda grimaced at the thought. He had never dialed a phone using his toes before.

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"Can't you give me more details?" Komui complained at the other end of the line.

"For that last time, I told you, I have no idea what happened," Kanda hissed through the speaker, feeling greatly annoyed. "That bastard just pushed his filthy hands through my shoulders, as if I was nothing but damn air, and when he took them out, I felt some sharp pain, and then _nothing._ I felt _nothing, _goddamit. My arms suddenly became limp and I dropped Mugen."

"Did he do something like chant a spell or anything? Or did his hands glow?"

"If it did, I would have told you," Kanda snapped. "Now stop being an idiot and figure this one out. With all those akuma out there, I can't remain handicapped for long."

"Stop being impatient, Kanda," Komui replied, sighing. "I'm going to send Allen there to fetch you. You need someone capable of fighting as an escort. Without your arms you can't use Mugen."

"Of all people, why that beansprout?" Kanda growled, shifting the phone awkwardly under his chin. He was calling from the inn's reception desk, and the people who were coming in were giving him strange looks. "Can't it be that annoying redhead or Lenalee? You know how that white-haired retard annoys me."

"Bear with it, then," Komui answered. "He's in Munich right now, which makes him the nearest to you since you're in Dresden. Anyway, you've got no choice. I already told him about it, and he's on his way. He'll meet you in the inn you're staying so no need to try carrying your suitcase around. In the meantime, remove your Exorcist's coat so that akuma wouldn't recognize you. It'll be really dangerous if they attack you before Allen arrives."

"I'm capable of handling those weaklings, Komui. Hands or no hands," Kanda grunted, while Komui sighed. The exorcist could almost imagine the scientist rolling his eyes. "Whatever, Kanda. This is an order. You are not allowed to engage in any fight until Allen arrives. Run, hide, go dress up as a woman, I DON'T CARE. What matters most is your safety."

Kanda muttered another profanity at the speaker and let go of the phone, kicking it back to the reception desk. The clerk, and a couple who was registering gave him odd looks, which he countered with a sharp glare. _This is one damn day,_ Kanda cursed, angrily stomping back to his room. The moment he arrived at his room, he glared at his suitcase. How was he supposed to pack without using his hands? Hissing to himself, Kanda decided that he'd have to do things differently, until Komui can figure out a way to fix his arms. He couldn't possibly be paralyzed for life, right? There's no way those Noah bastards can do such a thing.

Or…could they?

Kanda banished these thoughts to the farthest corners of his mind, and focused on the task before him. Okay, so he could just kick all his clothes into the suitcase, try to organize it a bit, and then kick the suitcase shut. But the problem was his exorcist's coat. How on earth was he going to unbutton it? Didn't that stupid Komui think of that? Growling like a tempered dog, Kanda looked down on the silver buttons and gnashed his teeth. _Fine, _he sighed in anger. _I guess I'll have to do THAT. _

Grunting, Kanda lied down on his bed, and bent his body. As he fumed with anger, Kanda opened his mouth…and began biting the buttons off.

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Allen thanked the innkeeper who had showed him the way to Kanda's room. Only a few hours ago, Allen had received a phone call from Komui, telling him that Kanda can't use his hands because of the Noah, so he should go and escort him safely back to the Headquarters.

Quite frankly, Allen could not believe this at first. He knew that Kanda could still be injured, but for him to be handicapped? And most of all, with his hands? Impossible. A samurai without his hands was unrecognizable.

As much as Allen couldn't believe it, he followed Komui's orders anyway. Kanda must really be in trouble if he had gone as far as to tell Komui about it. Though both of them weren't in the best terms, Allen still considered the short-tempered exorcist as his friend. As he knocked on the door, Allen hoped that Kanda was not very pissed at that moment.

"Is that you, beansprout?" he heard Kanda's voice from inside. Allen's eye twitched in annoyance.

"It's Allen," he groaned. "Open up, Kanda."

"It's open, you idiot. Come in, and lock the door behind you. I can't do it myself."

Allen frowned in mild irritation as he took hold of the doorknob, which was indeed, unlocked. Well, how was he supposed to know? People usually locked their doors. People with motile hands, that is.

Allen opened the door and found himself staring at the weirdest sight ever: Kanda was lying on top of his bed, his legs raised up in the air and leaning towards Kanda's head, while Kanda's head was bent over his chest, his mouth gnawing on a button on his stomach. All Allen could do was stare and wonder if he had entered the wrong room, or if some clown had kidnapped Kanda and pretended to be him. But that glare on the samurai's eyes was unmistakable.

"Stop staring, you stupid beansprout, and help me undo this damn button!" He snapped, letting go of that weird position and jumping off the bed. He walked towards Allen who couldn't help but notice the damp bite marks on the upper part of his coat, whereas the silver buttons were nowhere to be found. "Go and undo the last three buttons," Kanda brusquely ordered, and Allen would have smartly retorted if it weren't for Kanda's obviously sour mood.

Who wouldn't be pissed by the fact that they can't use their hands at the moment?

"My name is Allen," he muttered as he undid the last buttons and helped Kanda shrug his coat off.

"What happened to you?" he asked, as he folded the coat and tucked it under his arm. Allen noticed how limp Kanda's arms were, and realized that Komui wasn't at all exaggerating when he said that Kanda needed help. Without his hands, Kanda wouldn't be able to used Mugen, which was bad. He'll be an easy target for the akuma.

Where was Mugen by the way? Allen looked around the room, and found the sword leaning against the wall. This puzzled Allen. If Kanda really faced Tyki Mikk, then his Innocence should have been destroyed. How come it was still intact? "Uhm, Kanda…"

"What is it?" Kanda snapped looking very pissed off. Allen sighed. This incident had really spiked up Kanda's temper. Allen didn't know how long his patience and sympathy will last. "Your Innocence," Allen pointed out, as he nodded his head towards Mugen's direction. "Why was it not destroyed? The Noah usually destroys an exorcist's Innocence once he defeats them, right? So why was yours spared?"

A bitter look appeared on Kanda's face, making Allen regret ever asking. "He left it to mock me of course," he hissed, as if that was obvious enough. "I bet that son of a bitch thought that without my hands, Mugen's useless anyway, so why bother destroying it? Bastard…"

The reply made Allen shut up, and he just quietly moved towards Kanda's suitcase, opened it, and sighed as he saw the mess. Of course, Kanda wouldn't be able to pack without his arms. After being able to make it look at least like a bundle of clothes instead of a bunch of rags, Allen turned to Kanda who had retreated to sit down on the bed and glare at the floor.

"Are you hungry? We could eat something before the train arrives."

A heavy silence came down upon them, and a few moments later, Allen saw his mistake.

"Ah," he muttered awkwardly. "Uhm, sorry. I guess you wouldn't be able to eat properly with your..uhm.."

"I'm not hungry," Kanda snapped, hastily standing. "And I don't want to waste time in this city any longer. Let's go to the train station, beansprout."

"It's Allen," the white-haired exorcist whined. Kanda just rolled his eyes, and stormed out of the room, leaving a very perplexed Allen. "He doesn't have to be so much of a jerk," he muttered indignantly. "I'm here to help him. He should be grateful instead." Sighing to his self, Allen took Kanda's suitcase and Mugen -- it was strange for him to just leave his Innocence behind – and followed Kanda out of the room.

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The train ride was a silent one, but the vibes of pure aggravation that came from Kanda was unnerving. Allen soon regretted ever taking the same cabin, but he figured that it'd be dangerous if both of them got separated. Kanda was helpless now, though the samurai would not admit it. He was still as cocky and ill tempered as usual.

Kanda was sleeping when they were only two hours away from London, and that was when Allen began hearing growls coming out of Kanda's stomach. An exasperated sigh escaped Allen's mouth. Kanda had been so stubborn about not eating, that even when Allen had offered to mouth-feed him, he firmly declined (well, _duh._). Now, Kanda's stomach was emitting sounds that expressed his body's protests against his pride.

Knowing that the other exorcist won't eat while he was conscious, Allen decided to take advantage of Kanda's sleep. Taking a piece of bread from his bag, food he had saved just in case Kanda finally gave in, Allen broke off a piece and carefully pressed it against Kanda's lips.

A second later, Allen felt something hard hit his forehead.

"Ow!" he yelped, moving away from Kanda as he clutched his wounded head. "What the hell was that for?!"

Kanda glared at him, his own forehead a bit red too after he gave Allen a head-butt, but he ignored the pain. A few crumbs were on his lips, and he silently licked them away. He was _hungry, _but not desperate enough to allow his self to be mouth-fed by someone like Allen. Nu-uh. Kanda would rather die of starvation.

"Your stomach was making goddamn noises," Allen hissed, looking at Kanda indignantly. "You're hungry and you know it. So stop being stubborn and let me feed you."

"Shut the fuck up, beansprout," he coldly replied. "I told you. I'm. Not. Hungry."

Suddenly, Allen lunged at him, and without his hands, Kanda wasn't able to quickly react. Before he could use his legs to maneuver a kick, Allen had already pinned him on the floor, sitting leisurely on his waist.

"No, _you _shut up, ba-Kanda," Allen retorted, his eyes ablaze. "You are going to eat, whether you like it or not. I don't want Komui scolding me for not taking care of you while you're _handicapped._" Kanda winced at the word, but Allen paid no attention to him. He was fed up with Kanda's attitude.

Taking the bread once again, Allen broke off a new piece and pressed it against Kanda's lips. Kanda did his best to resist his efforts, and kept his mouth shut. Allen rolled his eyes. "Don't make me do this," he threatened, his eyes murderous.

Kanda raised an eyebrow, more curious than intimidated. "Do wha—"

Allen caught his mouth open and immediately placed the piece of bread inside. He placed a hand over the samurai's mouth, keeping him from spitting the food out. "Chew," he ordered, a victorious smirk on his face. Kanda glared at him, but chose to chew the food instead of choking on it. Besides, he really was hungry. And the sudden presence of food in his mouth made his stomach excited.

"Well, that was _easy_, wasn't it, Kanda?" Allen mused, still smirking. Kanda swallowed and scowled in reply. Chuckling, Allen tore off another piece of bread, and pressed it into Kanda's mouth. This time, the exorcist didn't resist.

Soon enough, the food was gone, and Kanda was full. The longhaired boy didn't know how hungry he was until he discovered that he had finished seven big loaves of bread all in all, as well as a few sandwiches.

"So, you're done? Or do you still want some more food? We could buy some in the train, I think," Allen stated. "Or, we could wait till we arrive in the Headquarters. It's only an hour and a half away." A teasing grin then appeared on Allen's face. "That is, _if _your stomach can wait. And here I am, thinking that my appetite was abnormal."

"Shut up and get off me, beansprout," Kanda growled, and it was only then that Allen realized how long he and Kanda had been on the floor in such an awkward position. Blushing slightly, Allen stood up, and helped Kanda off the floor. Both of them avoided each other's gazes.

"I'm not sorry that I sat on you like that Kanda," Allen suddenly said, breaking the silence. "It's your fault for being so stubborn anyway."

Kanda just grunted, and didn't reply, his eyes glaring out the window.

"Well, won't I get a 'thank you' for the effort?"

"Idiot," Kanda retorted. "Why the hell would I thank you for pinning me on the ground? If someone had seen us, they would have thought that you were molesting me or something."

At that statement, Allen turned a bright shade of red, which looked so hilarious that despite Kanda's bad mood, he couldn't help but smirk at his reaction. "Oho," he continued, determined to get back at the other exorcist. "So you _were _planning to molest me, huh?"

Allen's face became as red as a ripe tomato. "Don't be such as a pervert, ba-Kanda!" Allen shouted, and stormed out of their train cabin, his face completely red. If it had been possible, steam would have streamed out of his ears by now. _Kanda's so stupid,_ Allen mentally hissed, making his way towards the lavatory. _I was just helping him, and he twists everything in that stubborn head of his. That pervert._

But then, Allen couldn't help but admit how warm Kanda felt when he was sitting on other's waist. Kanda's muscular abdomen was obvious because of the tight fitting black turtleneck sweater he wore. Allen never noticed it before, probably because his foul manner of speaking always caught Allen's attention first. _I'm such an idiot, _he thought as he washed his face on the bathroom's sink.

While Allen was in the lavatory, Kanda was in the cabin with his own sentiments to contemplate on.

Truth be told, Kanda was grateful for Allen's help. If it weren't for the other's actions, Kanda would be ultimately clueless on how to survive without his hands. He couldn't carry his sword, his luggage, and he can't even undo the buttons of his coat, or change his clothes. He remembered how idiotic he had looked when he arrived back at the inn with Mugen tucked under his chin.

And that time when Allen effortlessly pinned him on the ground…that was clearly degrading for a warrior like him. He can't blame Allen of course, but Kanda had too much pride to blame it on himself. So he blamed the Noah for it. It was their fault that he had to go through such embarrassment. They should have killed him instead.

A sigh escaped his lips as Kanda closed his eyes and decided to spend the remaining time in dreamland. There he wouldn't have any worries. He wouldn't remember that his arms were now useless, and that years of training were now for naught.

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Kanda woke up half an hour later, and found an exorcist coat covering him like a blanket. He stared at it for a moment, and realized that it was not his, seeing that the buttons were still intact. He looked up and found Allen curled up on the opposite seat, sound asleep.

It was ironic for his supposed bodyguard to be asleep on the duty, but Kanda barely noticed. Instead, he found himself drawn to Allen's peaceful face.

The other exorcist looked so pure when he was asleep, his face free from all the agitation and suffering an Exorcist often received. With his eyes closed, lips slight apart, and strands of his silver hair messily covering a part of his face, he looked just like a child. So innocent and naïve. From the stories Kanda had heard from Lenalee, Allen didn't have a happy childhood, thanks to a certain Marian Cross. Was it possible that Allen's childlike features would only fully manifest themselves when the boy was asleep?

Kanda wasn't sure, but what he was sure of, was that he liked Allen's face when he was asleep. No trace of that annoying shrewdness when he played poker, or those mocking smirks. It was just…pure and untainted.

He wanted to brush those silver strands off Allen's face, but knew that he couldn't. Aside from the fact that his hands were immotile, Kanda knew that such actions would result to misunderstandings. He didn't want anyone to think that he fancied Allen. Kanda simply liked the way his face looked like whenever Allen was asleep. Period.

"Kanda?"

Kanda snapped out of his reverie, and realized that he had been unknowingly staring at Allen all that time. He immediately looked away. "What?" he grunted.

"Are we there yet?" he asked, yawning. Kanda noticed the bags under the boy's eyes and remembered how long he hadn't slept a wink since the beginning of their journey. No wonder he looked tired. "No," Kanda replied, feeling guilty as he stared at the exhaustion that was starting to replace that previous childlike innocence in Allen's face. "Forty-five more minutes," he added. "So go and sleep more. You look like hell, beansprout."

"It's Allen," the other exorcist replied, scowling as he yawned once more. "It's your fault I look like this, Kanda," he accused, sticking out his tongue like a kid. "You're so hard to take care of."

"I didn't tell you to take care of me!" Kanda snapped, annoyed. Allen was _way _better when he was asleep.

"Whatever," Allen snorted, smirking. He lied down again. "Wake me up when we arrive, okay? Don't even think of leaving me behind. I'm the only one who can carry Mugen and your suitcase, after all."

Kanda rolled his eyes, and nodded. "Fine. Just shut up and sleep already, beansprout."

"It's…Allen…" he mumbled, before closing his eyes and going back to sleep.

Kanda sighed and looked out the window. The sky was dark, and the moon was on its voyage to the peak of the sky. It didn't take a watch to tell that it was near midnight. Feeling no longer sleepy, Kanda's eyes traveled to Allen's sleeping demeanor once again, admiring the other one's face.

Somehow, Kanda felt inwardly remorseful about the fact that he couldn't brush away those stubborn silver locks.

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**A/N: PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, REVIEW!!!!!!!!! I'm the type who won't be encouraged to write any updates until I receive reviews, so please do review! **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Well, that was a good start…OwO Thanks to those who reviewed on this story! 8 is one of my favorite numbers, so it inspired me to finally update! xD I won't be making the next chapter until the reviews reach 17 though…because 17 is another favorite number of mine. 8DD As soon as I receive 17 reviews, I'll immediately update, so the fate of this story is in your hands! 8DD**

**Read, REVIEW, and Enjoy!**

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_Chapter 2_

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"What the fuck do mean? You _can't _fix it? You're a freakin' scientist, Komui! You should know something!"

Kanda had finally arrived in the Black Order Headquarters after a long and fortunately uneventful journey on the train. He had hastily charged into Komui's office, leaving the unfortunate Allen to carry his entire luggage for him. But of course, Kanda didn't feel any pity towards the obnoxious beansprout. That was pretty much impossible for the samurai. He arrived at the supervisor's office in haste, hoping to hear good news from the aforementioned scientist.

However, the news that hit him was far from comforting. In fact, it was just the opposite.

"Don't shout when I'm right beside you, Kanda," Komui sighed, clearing his maltreated ears. "I told you. I've examined your arms a dozen times already, using all the available technology we have. I really can't find anything wrong with it. At first, I thought that Tyki Mikk might have purposely damaged the nerves that connected your arms to your spine, but when I checked, they were untouched. Your arms are very healthy, in fact."

"So what the fuck is wrong?" Kanda growled.

"Swearing won't fix your arms, Kanda," another voice interrupted them. It was a voice that Kanda knew only too well since it was one of the things that really, _really _irritated him.

Allen walked into the room and stood in the midst of the two older men, his arms crossed in front of his chest. He gave Kanda an annoyed frown. "Komui-san is doing his best to help you. Stop being such a jerk and act grateful for once."

"Don't just butt into conversations you're not part of, beansprout," the longhaired exorcist snapped, giving the white-haired boy a fiery glare. "Shut up and go eat like a pig. None of these concern you. Get out."

"You can't kick someone out of a room that isn't yours, Kanda," Komui interrupted, rolling his eyes in exasperation. He really couldn't understand what was wrong with these two. Did bright white hair and dark blue locks really repel each other? Komui frankly thought that the two would be friends the moment they set their eyes on each other (then again, this eccentric supervisor obviously forgot that he was the one who gave Kanda the order to attack Allen the very first time the boy stepped into the Headquarters' premises). "And actually, this conversation does concern Allen's presence."

Kanda's eyes narrowed. Anything that concerned him and the beansprout at the same time didn't spell "good." "What do you mean by that?" he suspiciously asked, having a feeling that this wasn't going to turn out nice for him.

"I've assigned Allen to be your personal assistant until I find a way to fix your arms. Since he was once part of the circus, he's very knowledgeable in activities that require balance with only the use of one's feet. Though you're a master in martial arts too, you've been more focused on balance with your hands, since you're a swordsman. So, to make you capable of handling missions while your arms are still immotile, Allen will be training you on how to maintain your balance while carrying a dead weight, such as your arms, and he'll be teaching you some leg-techniques too," Komui explained, and gave Kanda an expectant look. "No objections."

"Like hell there aren't!" Kanda hissed, glaring at the two other men in the room. "Do you know what the fuck you're saying, Komui? Me? Be trained by _him_?" he shot a look of disgust at Allen, who gave him an indignant scowl in return. "Can't you just hire some other acrobat instructor instead? How about that redheaded rabbit? Or Lenalee? She uses her legs more than her hands, for heaven's sake!"

"I will _never _allow my darling little sister to be a _man's _personal assistant," Komui gravely answered, and gave Kanda a comically threatening look. "Why are you so keen in getting Lenalee, huh, Kanda? You don't happen to have any dirty things in mind, do you?"

Kanda released his fiercest glare. "No, you damn sister-complex."

This conversation was over.

"Whatever, Kanda. My decision is final. Hiring another person would just add to expenses, and I don't think Central would like that. Anyway, Lavi and Lenalee are away on missions at the moment, so they wouldn't be able to help you. Allen would be your personal assistant. Period," Komui finalized, ignoring the murderous waves coming from Kanda. He glanced at Allen. "You don't have a problem with that too, right Allen-kun~?"

Allen shook his head. "It'll be a pain-in-the-ass, but I've got nothing to do now, so I think I'll have to do my best in helping the _less _fortunate," he replied, throwing a smirk at Kanda's direction. "I'll kill you, beansprout," Kanda growled, but Allen merely scoffed at him. "With your hands like that? Puh-leaze, Kanda. Give a threat that you could actually do. You're a swordsman who couldn't wield a sword for heaven's sake."

Kanda was really itching for homicide right now. But he knew that attacking Allen with no hands and a messed up sense of balance would just make him look like an idiot. And he'd had enough of ridicule for one day. Especially if most of the insults came from that white-haired bastard.

Still fuming, Kanda released an infuriated sigh, and stamped out of the room, slamming the door behind him like some kid throwing a tantrum.

Komui looked uncertainly at the door. "Don't you think you went a little bit too far, Allen-kun?"

Allen shrugged. "Someone's got to bring that guy back to earth, sometimes. He can get to thickheaded when no one's keeping tabs on his ego."

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Kanda kicked his dorm room open – since he obviously can't turn the knob – and kicked it back shut. He sat down at the edge of his bed, a still-aggravated look on his face. He _so _wanted to dice that annoying "old man" right now, but he knew that he _couldn't._ And that fact, in itself, was the most dastardingly annoying one of all.

_Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn! _Kanda's mind screamed as he began kicking things in his room, toppling the chair over and knocking off the vases, the books, and all the other stuff that were inches off of the ground. His abused leg was already throbbing with all the bruises he was receiving but the hell did he care. All he wanted was to release all his frustrations in the only way he knew. Violence.

His arms hung limp at his sides, and they were exactly what Komui described them to be. _Dead weight. _Dead weight. Stupid, fucking, _dead _weight. Dead. His arms were dead. That was a fact. And if Komui couldn't find a remedy for it, then it'll be dead, _forever._ Fuck. This was sick. His arms died before him? Stupid shit.

He couldn't even _meditate _properly, for crying out loud! Without his hands, he couldn't regain that position that had always been successful in calming his senses! Argh!

He'd really kill that Noah. He was the cause of all this. That bastard from hell. Kanda will kill him. That was a promise that he would keep, or else his soul will never find peace.

Everything.

Everything was just too messed up right now.

He glared at his hands. His dead, immotile hands. The hands that once so proudly held Mugen, cutting down hundreds, no, thousands of adversaries with polished movements he had so meticulously learned and trained for.

Now, all that hard work was for nothing. Everything…eighteen years of living for the sword had been wasted.

He kicked his dresser and down came the vase of flowers Lenalee had insisted on having in his room. The Chinese porcelain shattered loudly as it hit the stone ground, making sharp shards fly around. His abrupt movements caused his arms to swing, the sudden weight making his body lose its previous balance. Kanda slipped, nicking his left foot with a shard from the broken glass and landed – fortunately – on his bed.

A cry of anguish escaped his lips; yet, Kanda was manly enough not to cry. Now, he was just _frustrated. _He wasn't depressed or anything as pathetic as that. For now, Kanda would just let out all his frustrations, and then he'll find a way to fix things somehow, without that beansprout's help. The thought of Allen brought another irritated sigh out of his mouth. Oh, why, oh, _why _did it have to be _him? _Everything was already so awkward in the train…why did it have to be awkward in here too?

He remembered that mouth-feeding session and how it clearly degraded his pride. Kanda didn't know how he'd be able to live properly with Allen feeding him soba. That beansprout didn't even know how to properly handle chopsticks for heaven's sake! But all the more will he scream for bloody murder if they would make him eat soba through a _straw. _

At the thought of food, his stomach started releasing rumbling sounds, which clearly manifested how hungry he was. Kanda hadn't eaten anything since that morning and now he was famished. However, despite how hungry he was, Kanda would rather die than be mouth-fed by Allen, _again._

His legs were now marred with bruises, while a steady trickle of blood came out of his nicked foot. Kanda merely sighed at the pain, for it was something insignificant compared to his current dilemma at the moment. Closing his eyes, the samurai exorcist willed the hunger to go away as he drifted back to his only sanctuary: dreamland.

-----------------------------

Kanda woke up to someone annoyingly poking his shoulder.

Opening his eyes, Kanda found himself face to face with Allen's annoyed expression. His cursed eye was twitching in obvious irritation, while his arms were once again crossed over his chest. He was seated on Kanda's chair, and was using his foot to poke Kanda's shoulder.

"Well, sleeping beauty finally wake up," Allen drawled, looking quite pissed off. Kanda frowned, and sat up, glaring at the white-haired boy. "Get out of my room, beansprout."

"It's Allen," the boy hissed, obviously not in a good mood. "Get that name into that thickhead of yours for once, Kanda. And sure, I would just _love _to get out of your room. However, since I'm your personal assistant now, I can't," he added, scowling. His hand made a brushing movement across the room. "Not with all this mess lying around."

Kanda followed Allen's hand, and was initially shocked himself. He had forgotten about the tantrum he had thrown a couple of hours ago. Glass was lying around, and his books seemed to replace the carpet. His clothes were lying around – probably thrown out of his dresser when he was mercilessly kicking it – and lots of other trash that weren't worth mentioning. Kanda tried to stand up, but the pang of slight pain that shot up from his legs made him pause. He looked down and saw his feet bandaged, reeking with the faint smell of an ointment he didn't recognize.

"Were you trying to kill your legs too so it could match your arms?" Allen sarcastically asked, raising an eyebrow at Kanda who just stared at his legs in silence. "I came in here an hour ago and found this hell. And your foot was bleeding too, adding a stupid macabre touch to the scene. And there you were, sleeping like a corpse on All Hallow's Eve. C'mon, Kanda. I'll help you as much as I can, but at least _try _helping yourself too. You aren't the type who'd throw a tantrum like this and act all depressed. I know you enough to think so."

"You talk too much, beansprout. Just get out and leave me alone," Kanda muttered, staring blankly at his legs.

Allen rolled his eyes in exasperation. Kanda really was stubborn. Almost as stubborn as him. "Whatever, Kanda. I'm not leaving. Anyway, you've got to fill up that stomach of yours. It's been growling like a demented wolf for the past thirty minutes. Anyway," Allen paused and took the tray of food that Kanda had failed to notice earlier. "I brought your food here, since I know that you wouldn't want me to feed you in front of the whole Black order population. So here you go."

Allen took a fork, and began twirling it to get hold of the soba noodles, much like how English people handle pasta. "Hey! You're doing it all wrong!" Kanda protested. He didn't want his favorite dish to be handled in such a Western way. "You should use chopsticks, beansprout! Not a goddamn fork for goodness' sake! Don't treat it like spaghetti!"

"I don't know how to use chopsticks, so deal with it!" Allen retorted, sticking out his tongue at the annoyed exorcist. "Say 'ah!'" he instructed, holding the fork towards Kanda's mouth. The samurai kept his mouth shut, glaring at the boy. He wasn't going to fall for Allen's tricks again.

"Oh, c'mon Kanda!" Allen whined, a bit too childishly. "Don't get all upset over me not using chopsticks to handle soba!" He retreated the fork and decided to try another tactic. He then began to move the fork in circling motions, while making weird flying sound. "Broooosh. Here comes the akuma!" he chirped, maneuvering the fork towards Kanda's mouth.

Kanda couldn't take it anymore. He just _had _to reply to that one. "Why the hell would I want to eat an akuma, you –"

Bull's-eye. The food went straight into his mouth.

"Victory!" Allen cheered, as he clamped his hands on Kanda's mouth, keeping him from spitting the food right out. A mischievous light appeared on his eyes. "Choke or chew? Your choice, Kanda."

Kanda scowled at Allen's words, and scowled deeper as he saw that victorious smirk on the boy's face. If only he could, he would have spitted on that idiot's face by now. Unfortunately, that was not the case.

Kanda started chewing, keeping his murderous stare on Allen, who seemed completely undaunted by it. He didn't really want to chew, but he'd rather take in the food, than to have his tombstone labeled with "A swordsman who _choked _on soba served with a fork."

Not a very nice way to go.

"Okay, so here's the deal. Let me feed you, and I'll make sure that no one else finds out about this mouth-feeding session of ours. For the sake your stomach, and both our reputations, you _have _to agree to this, Kanda," Allen proposed, running low on ideas on how he'll be able to catch Kanda's mouth open next time. He knew he wouldn't be as lucky.

Kanda frowned but thought about it. Indeed it was an advantageous proposal, since the two things that he valued most received benefits: First was his physical well-being, and second was his pride as a warrior. He didn't give a damn if people liked his attitude or not. But he did give a damn about a fighter like him being mouth-fed in public, like a helpless baby. Kanda didn't mind being seen as a total asshole. But what he hated was to be seen as _weak._

"Fine," he replied as soon as Allen removed his hand. "You've got yourself a deal, beansprout."

"It's Allen," the boy whined, and now it was Kanda's turn to roll his eyes. "Whatever."

This peaceful exchange made Allen smile a bit, knowing that Kanda was now far away from the brink of depression. When he had first entered the room, the first thing he presumed was that Kanda had committed suicide, which was not really unlikely. For a swordsman like him to lose the most important part of his body – his hands – it would have been completely devastating. Allen could remember panicking when he saw that blood dripping from Kanda's leg, only to sigh in relief when he realized it was nothing serious.

Really now, Allen didn't know that he would be that worried about Kanda. Kanda was a total jerk, superbly stubborn, violent, short-tempered, and would never ever call him by his real name. Yet, Allen was still anxious about the samurai. Why was that? Allen didn't really know. And for now, he didn't really care. It was probably only his never-ending sympathy and "kindness" as the others said. He couldn't leave a wounded man alone. No matter how painstaking the task is.

The feeding session, or Kanda's lunch, lasted for a whole hour, mostly because of all Kanda's complaints and all Allen's fed-up rants. But still, they were able to at least clear the whole tray of food, and now, it was bath time.

The situation suddenly rose to a whole new level of complications.

-------------------------------

"Don't touch me there, you idiot!"

"Oww! Dammit, Kanda! We'll never be able to get your pants off at this rate!" Allen hissed, nursing the red lump on his forehead as Kanda gave him another head-butt.

"I told you! I can do it myself, beansprout!" Kanda growled back, inching away from Allen who was moving towards him.

"What, are you going to bite your zipper off too?" Allen sneered, lunging at Kanda and kept a dead man's grip on the samurai's waist. Kanda tried fighting him off, but whenever he would try to kick him, his sense of balance would be thrown off. "Stop being so stubborn! It's just your pants!"

"Yes, it is _my _pants! It's mine so back off!"

Allen released a frustrated sigh, and with all his might, he grabbed Kanda's hip and tore older boy's pants off. The tattered remains of Kanda's black jeans unceremoniously floated down to the tiled floor of the showers.

"Agh! Look what you've done you damn beansprout!" Kanda hollered, kicking and struggling harder now. This was really, really, _awkward. _Not just the fact that he was already half-naked in front of another person, but the most disturbing part was that the aforementioned person was _clinging _to his half-naked body.

"Shut up for once, Kanda! You can ask for a new pair of pants after we're done. In the meantime, stop moving around! I'm having a hard time removing your boxers!" Allen whined, his face reddening at the words he had just said. It sounded…really disturbing when it was said out loud.

"Idiot! That's exactly the point! Why would I cooperate with you when you're sexually harassing me!" Kanda snapped, a small blush already creeping up his face. Good thing Allen was clinging from behind him, or else the boy would have seen the red tint on Kanda's own face. Really now, this lack of space between their bodies was _very _uncomfortable.

"Gah! Fine! We'll just have to take a shower with our boxers on!" Allen exclaimed, giving up as he released Kanda from his grasp and turned away.

Kanda sighed as he felt his body released from Allen's touch. But before he could fully feel relief, something in Allen's words. The samurai's eyes widened as it all dawned upon him. "Hold on a minute, beansprout. What do you mean by 'we'?" he asked, turning towards the white-haired boy, who was, to his horror, striping his own clothes off.

"What else would it mean? I can't soap you with my clothes on, idiot," Allen muttered, his face turned away as he removed his own pants, leaving him as naked as Kanda was. If tomatoes were people, then Allen would be one. The red color on Allen's face was nearing the realm of "supernatural" because of its intensity. He didn't really want to say his task out-loud because it was just too embarrassing, but Kanda just had to ask. Great. "You can't protest, Kanda. You're dirty from your previous mission, and you haven't taken a bath since then. You reek of sweat and dirt," Allen grimaced, though none of that was really true. Kanda didn't smell revolting; in fact, he didn't smell bad at all. Allen knew that _very _well, considering how his face was pressed against Kanda's skin only seconds before.

Kanda immediately turned his face, in fear that Allen would see the sudden rush of blood up his face. Oh, _why _did this have to happen? That Noah should have killed him instead.

"Do anything perverted, and I'll kick you in you-know-where, beansprout," Kanda growled.

"Of course I wouldn't do anything like that!" Allen replied, his face completely scarlet. "It's just you and your dirty thoughts, ba-Kanda!"

"Che. Whatever," Kanda retorted, facing away from the other boy as Allen opened the shower. The feeling of cool water against his skin relaxed the stressed samurai, and for a while, he forgot about the awkwardness of the situation. As the cool water rained against his tense muscles, unwinding them, Kanda couldn't help but release a small sigh as he closed his eyes in contentment. Taking a cool bath after all that chaos feels good.

The feeling of soapy hands on his back unexpectedly interrupted his momentary reverie. Kanda's body immediately grew rigid, and his eyes snapped open to the fact that Allen was now soaping his body. He didn't move an inch, and remained as stiff as a statue.

"Relax," Allen suddenly stated, in a voice that was strangely assuring. With that voice in his mind, plus the soothing movements of Allen's hands as he soaped and semi-massaged his back, Kanda finally surrendered and loosened his limbs.

Allen moved his hands across Kanda's cream-colored skin, marveling at the smoothness of its surface. There were not marks on his skin, not a single scar remained from all those battles the older exorcist had fought. As Allen touched Kanda's lean and muscular body, he couldn't feel but feel awed by how perfect the latter's body was. It had all the desirable contours a man would ever dream of having, and Allen couldn't find a single flaw in it.

It was just so perfect…and beautiful.

In an attempt to make Kanda feel more comfortable, Allen started massaging the other's back. He had learned a lot of things through the odd jobs he had to take in order to pay for his master's debts. Being a masseuse was one of those odd jobs. It helped him polish his massaging skills, and so, Allen was sure that the treatment he was giving Kanda was first-class.

Kanda, on the other hand, was silently savoring the movement of Allen's hands against his back, and once again, like that moment in the train, he felt grateful for Allen's presence. No one had ever dared to massage him before, and he didn't let anyone do so. But now that he realized how nice it felt, Kanda felt a bit of remorse over all the things he missed. Nevertheless, he had a small feeling that only Allen would be able to give such a good massage among all of the Black Order people.

The moment was undeniably pleasurable. Kanda had no idea that Allen's calloused hands would feel so gentle and soothing against his own skin. The boy was really talented; he knew a lot of things that Kanda didn't even know existed. Yet, he wasn't too boastful about anything. In actuality, the only thing he was proud of was his prowess in cheating while playing poker, which was quite a wrong thing to be proud of, considering the long list of talents Allen could choose from.

Allen's hands glided over his skin, caressing his firm shoulders, and snaking down to his lower back. He moved over them in small circles, applying only the most comfortable amount of pressure possible. Allen could feel Kanda's muscles slowly unwinding and submitting to his touch, and strangely enough, Allen _liked _touching Kanda's body like this.

His hands then moved towards the front of Kanda's body, and began soaping and massaging the other's abdomen, slowly traveling up to his upper torso. Then suddenly, one of Allen's hands unknowingly brushed against Kanda's nipple.

And automatically, as if it had been pre-programmed in him, Kanda released a low moan.

With that, Allen suddenly froze.

-----------------------------------

**A/N: Wheeeeeee~ Cliffhanger! Bwahahaha! Remember! I need the reviews to be at least 17 for a proper motivation! 8DD Ciao~**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Wow! So many reviews in such a short time, it's so overwhelming! 8DD thank you to all who reviewed! Your words encouraged me so much! -****The simple joys of an amateur like me****- **

**Here it is! The next update! Once again, reviews are highly encouraged! My most favorite number is actually 117, but I think it's impossible for me to get that much reviews. So I'll settle for 50 reviews till the next update. OwO Hehe. (This gives me an excuse to have some time with myself and not update too quickly).**

**LOL, I forgot to put the disclaimer in the previous two chapters. o__o I hope no one will sue me. O_O**

**I forgot to state that this one occurs after Allen reached the Critical Breaker thing. 8DD Though, let's pretend that Howard Link never appeared, shall we? 8DD**

**Disclaimer: I –unfortunately- do not own D . Gray - man (if I did, I'd make a YULLEN pairing for real).**

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_Chapter 3_

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That sudden moan that came out of Kanda's lips paralyzed Allen with shock. _Never _in his life would the cursed boy have expected the hotheaded samurai to release such a … such a _disturbingly _sexy sound. And _god, _the way it came out of Kanda was a huge turn-on.

Wait.

What?

Allen blinked, then a split second he suddenly jumped away from Kanda, his face brimming up with the color of blood. Whoa, whoa, _whoa. _Hold on a second. Allen's face turned into an incomprehensible expression as the poor boy tried to straighten out his thoughts. _I. Did. Not. Just. Think. Of. That. _His mind hissed in defiance, clinging on to every strand of sanity it could find. Allen Walker couldn't believe it. It was pretty disgusting to think that way.

_I'm not gay! I'm not gay! Goddamn it, just because Kanda's half-naked in front of me doesn't mean that I—_

"Beansprout?"

The voice snapped the boy back to his senses, and now Allen realized how long he had been standing there, his mouth ajar, with a dumbfounded expression. "Uhm…yes?"

Kanda frowned at this reply, and turned his head towards Allen. Normally, when he called Allen "beansprout," no matter how dire the current circumstances may be, the boy would always find the time to remind him that his name was Allen. Che. Not that Kanda really cared about listening to him. For the samurai, beansprout was _just _beansprout. Period.

But was that it?

The samurai blinked as that sudden random question entered his head. _Was that it? Of course that's all to it. That beansprout is nothing else to me but a fellow exorcist, and for now, my personal assistant who gives really damn good massages—_

Again, the longhaired boy blinked, realizing that his trail of thought was going haywire. So instead of thinking, Kanda just decided to ask Allen what was wrong. That boy suddenly froze and jumped away, for heaven's sake. There _has _to be something wrong.

"What's wrong, beansprout? You're not continuing your job," he asked with a raised brow, not wanting the other boy to see the mixture of curiosity and slight concern that was ravaging inside him at that moment. Kanda couldn't see anything wrong. They weren't talking, so it was impossible for him to have said something that had offended the younger dude. Allen was silently soaping and massaging him, while Kanda was… Kanda was…

For a fraction of a second, Kanda's eyes widened.

Finally, for the first time in that minute, Kanda became aware of that involuntary sound he released the instant Allen brushed against one of the most sensitive points in his body.

Oh,_ shit. _The samurai felt a bit of panic, somehow understanding why Allen had reacted in such a way. Any man who would make another man _moan _inside a bathroom where both of them were nearly naked was something _disconcerting _to the extreme. It wouldn't be strange if the beansprout had misread the situation.

"Uhm, nothing," Allen finally replied, interrupting Kanda's train of thought. Allen kept his eyes averted and made sure that he was looking at anything except Kanda. He'd better stop thinking about lewd things or else it'll just ruin his reputation of being heterosexual. As if there weren't enough gay men in the Order already. Allen was sure that he was just misreading the situation or something. _This is nuts, _Allen thought. _I shouldn't act as embarrassed as this. And Kanda didn't seem to notice either, so ever_y_thing's fine. No need to panic or have am-I-gay? moments._

Taking a deep breath, Allen pulled himself together and managed to fix his eyes on Kanda once more. "And whatever, Kanda. It's not part of my job to be your masseuse, you know," he added, rolling his eyes. "For the last time, the name's Allen. Stop being such an airheaded jerk."

Kanda outwardly grunted, but deep inside he released a huge sigh of relief. Finally, things were back to normal. It seemed that his unexpected moan was unheard, and that it wasn't the one that was bothering the beansprout. Whatever the issue was, it didn't concern Kanda, so it was none of his business. Period.

Okay, maybe not. Kanda was still curious. It wasn't actually every day that someone like Allen Walker would suddenly freeze and jump away like he had just seen a cockroach.

Hmm, was that it, then? A cockroach? Well, that was pretty stupid, but not at all unlikely. In places like the Black Order, the main funds go to the laboratories. The higher-ups aren't actually concerned about the public bathrooms, or pest control. As long as those roaches don't start gnawing at important documents, they're free to continue feeding on used tissue paper.

"Che, beansprout. You should have said that you were afraid of cockroaches beforehand. You saw one, didn't you? That's why you suddenly jumped away in fright," Kanda sneered, planning to tease the younger exorcist. And just as he expected, the boy's face turned into a bright shade of red. Inwardly, Kanda laughed. He somewhat liked to see that abashed expression on Allen's face.

"What the hell are you saying, ba-Kanda!" Allen exclaimed, madly blushing in embarrassment. Though he hadn't really seen a cockroach, he couldn't deny that he was a little frightened of those annoying little critters. Ironic, yes, since he battled akuma a million times bigger and stronger, but what creeped Allen out was those insects' ability to get absolutely _anywhere. _Under your bed, in your clothes, undergarments, ears, mouth – Allen released a conspicuous shudder as he imagined black creepy crawlies going in and out of his ear as he slept. Akuma can't get into his boxers. Roaches can. Eek.

"Aha, so I'm correct," Kanda smirked, noticing that shudder. He didn't really think that someone as strong as Allen would be scared of such small things. However, it was undeniable that such a fact made everything all the more amusing. "Too bad, Allen. You should have been cursed with an eye that could detect those roaches too," he added, and then pretended to glance down. "Because there's one near your foot right now."

Apparently, that was the wrong prank to play.

For Allen automatically jumped away from where he was standing, unfortunately however, he jumped towards the _wrong _direction.

And just to be really specific, it was the _ultimately _wrong direction.

Without knowing where he was going, Allen yelped, and dived towards Kanda's direction, making the older exorcist lose his balance and slip, knocking both of them on the tiled floor with Allen lying on top. An annoyed growl came out of Kanda, who was well pissed off by the pain his backside received. He didn't expect _that _sort of reaction, nor did he expect Allen to be lying _on top _of him in a steamy bathroom, with their half-naked bodies _pressed _against each other.

"Damn it, beansprout!" he hissed. "You didn't need to react that absurdly! It's just a fuckin' roach for heaven's sake!"

"You're a jerk, and you know that, huh, Kanda?" Allen snapped back, angrily pounding on Kanda's muscular chest. His face was still red, though there was a mixture of indignant embarrassment with it. "Don't scare me like that! I hate roaches! I totally hate them! And I hate you too for using them against me, stupid, stupid, ba-Kanda!" He knew he was acting really childish at the moment, but Allen didn't care that much. Roaches made him finally snap, and with the pressure of all the internal embarrassment and sexuality issues he was having, Allen can't hold back. He needed to release some of the stress somehow. And the cockroach happened to be the only excuse he had.

"Shut the hell up, and get off me, beansprout!" Kanda growled, averting his eyes from Allen's angry expression. He didn't mean to anger the boy like that. He didn't mean it at all.

But he'd rather go through hell than apologize for it.

Allen wanted to punch the lights out of Kanda – he knew he easily could – but before he could even land a hit, voices from the other side of the bathroom's door began to enter his ears. The whole complexity of the situation suddenly dawned upon the white-haired boy, like an unceremonious epiphany that knocked him back to his senses.

Four important facts, almost as grim as the Ten Commandments, registered into his mind.

Fact no. 1: He and Kanda were half-naked together.

Fact no. 2: Kanda was lying on the floor, and Allen was sitting on top of him, _straddling _his waist.

Fact no. 3: This position sent a message that clearly reeked of lewd origins.

Fact no. 4: And _that _was bad.

As the doorknob turned, both Allen and Kanda knew that they wouldn't be able to get out of this position without raising any suspicions. Having run out of options, Allen finally turned back to his initial plan, putting aside all the possible consequences that might result from it later on. This was his only chance of preserving both his dignity and his reputation.

As the first person stepped inside, Allen tightened his fist, and swung his arm as hard as he could.

The sound of flesh meeting flesh with a couple of bones cracking made the entering finders stop in their tracks.

"What is going on he—"

"You goddamn bastard! You idiot! You fucking bastard!" Allen hollered as loudly as he could, giving Kanda another punch, but this time softer and less damaging. The samurai stared at him in shock and disbelief not knowing what was happening to the other exorcist. "I'll kill you! I'll really kill you, you fucking bastard! Idiot! Kanda, you jerk!"

"Stop him! Gerald, go and call Komui! Mike, help me restrain him!" one of the finders shouted and immediately ran towards Allen, restraining his arms from moving. This was exactly what Allen wanted him to do, yet he tried struggling, to add a more realistic effect. "Let go of me! Let me teach this asshole a lesson! Going so far as to insult Mana like that! I'll kill you! I'll kill you, Kanda!"

Kanda just stared at Allen as the other finder helped him up. He was completely clueless about Allen's accusation, and he started wondering whether the roaches had driven him crazy. But despite that, Kanda didn't answer back, or tried to defend his self. There was that familiar glint in the boy's eyes; that sparkle that only manifests itself whenever Allen was playing out a shrewd plan. Though Kanda didn't quite get it yet, it seemed important enough to Allen, so he didn't do anything that might thwart it. He just kept his mouth shut, and allowed the finder to nurse his swollen cheek.

Allen was relieved that Kanda hadn't reacted to what he did. If he denied it, it would immediately raise suspicion, and the finders might think that there wasn't really a brawl after all. They might start forming something more illicit in mind.

The boy knew that he'd have to apologize and explain everything to Kanda later on, but in truth, Allen felt pretty good about that punch. He finally got the revenge he wanted, even if the motives weren't actually parallel with it.

As Allen was dragged out of the bathroom, he gave Kanda a glanced and mouthed one small word:

_Sorry. _

-----------------------------------

A knock snapped him out of dreamland again, and Kanda annoyingly guessed who it was.

"Get in here, beansprout," he hissed, feeling a bit pissed about the stinging sensation in his still swollen cheek. "You've got some explaining to do."

Allen opened the door and walked into the room, closing and locking it behind him, in case unwanted visitors busted in. He'd learned to become careful, primarily because it seemed to him that taking care of a handicapped Kanda placed him in different positions with rather suggestive perverted themes.

Sitting down on the solitary chair in the room, Allen crossed his arms over his chest and gave Kanda an apologizing look, though he didn't appear to be completely apologetic. A bit accomplished, actually. "Look, I'm sorry about punching you and throwing a retarded tantrum in the bathroom, but it was the only way I could think of to save our reputations," he started.

"Save our reputations?" Kanda asked an eyebrow raised as his curiosity was pricked by such a strange statement. "How's that? I don't see how punching me would place us in the 'stable and non-violent' category," he scoffed.

The white-haired boy averted his gray eyes with matching sarcasm. "We were never meant to be in such a category, Kanda. You should be well aware of that," he snorted. "Anyway, if you hadn't noticed, our position in the bathroom was very…_disturbing." _The last word barely came out of Allen's mouth but Kanda's superb hearing managed to catch the other boy's voice.

The moment the word "disturbing" registered in his mind, Kanda finally realized the significance of what Allen had done. Despite the pain of his right cheek, Kanda felt really relieved and quite grateful towards the boy's quick thinking. If it weren't for his fast actions, an AllenxKanda homosexual relationship would be the prime of gossip throughout the day, no, the _year _maybe. Or even worse, this could even be placed in the Order's database of exorcist, and last for eternity.

"Well, good thinking for once, beansprout," Kanda smirked, not quite the person who would say, "thank you" easily. "You punched me so you wouldn't be marked as gay. That's _nice_," he drawled, planning to annoy the boy once again. Well, albeit the fact that Allen did it to save their reputations, Kanda still wanted revenge for the brutal punches he received. He wouldn't be contented until he made things even between them. "Are you sure you aren't gay, though? You seemed to enjoy straddling me all the time. Not just once, but _twice,_" he mentioned, hinting back on that scenario in the train. "Though on the second time, you were actually lucky enough to catch me almost naked."

At those words, that previous scarlet hue on Allen's face returned, reviving his appearance as a tomato. The face the boy was showing was just too funny, that Kanda couldn't help but remain smirking. Oh, how he liked tormenting the curse boy this way! It was strangely so fun to see his face take in the same color as blood.

"Shut up, Kanda!" Allen hissed in great irritation as he tried to hide his blushing face. "Shut up for once, and act grateful! Ugh! I really can't stand you, damn it! I even got a temporary probation from the kitchen because of what I did! And it was for both our sakes, you ungrateful jerk!" He angrily stood up and stomped his way towards the door. He'd had enough of this treatment. "I'm leaving. Go find yourself another personal assistant."

"Wait, beansprout."

"Whatever, Kanda. I've made up my mind. I'm _leaving. _Period."

"Now, wait a minute."

"I'm not waiting. I'm sick of your –"

Allen never got to finish his sentence. The words, pending in his mouth, were cut off by a jolt of pain that coursed through his body as something hard collided against his head. And that certain hard object happened to be Kanda's forehead, which seemed to be as hard as stone.

"Agh!" he gasped, the impact making a bit dizzy. Allen leaned on the door for support, clutching the throbbing region of his head. He glared at Kanda, though his expression was a hybrid of pain and aggravation, though which was more dominant, Kanda couldn't quite figure out. "Damn it, Kanda! What was that for?"

"For acting all stupid and emotional, beansprout," Kanda replied, pressing his forehead against the cold wall in order to stop the swelling. "You're taking things too seriously, you know that? That was a freaking joke, for heaven's sake. I had to get back at you for punching me so hard somehow."

"But I had to punch you that hard to make everything more realistic!" Allen whined, hiding the fact that he really did enjoy punching Kanda.

"I'm a warrior, beansprout," Kanda blatantly answered, obvious disbelief in his voice. "I've been punched many times in my life. I _know _when a punch has real passion in it or not. Yours did, and even if your motive was different, I could tell from the force, that you _enjoyed _it. So don't tell me that it wasn't personal, because I know the truth."

Allen frowned. He didn't think Kanda would find out that way. "Well, it's really your fault in the first place anyway," Allen stubbornly stated, marching back to his chair as he crossed his arms over his chest, and allowed a small pout to decorate his adolescent face. "If you hadn't teased me about the cockroaches, then I wouldn't have jumped on you, and we wouldn't have ended up in _that _position, and I wouldn't have punched you to save our reputations and –"

"You were the one who froze and jumped away from me without any particular reason, beansprout," Kanda cut him off, feeling tired of his ranting. "Why did you?"

Another spasm of red washed across Allen's face, and he averted his eyes. "It doesn't concern you, Kanda, so mind your own business," Allen lied, keeping his eyes away. Having eye contact while lying, especially when in the presence of someone as observant as Kanda, wouldn't make the lie very effective. He'd easily be caught.

"Whatever," Kanda sighed, and walked back to his bed, lying face down on the sheets. "I'm tired, beansprout. And I'm not hungry, so no need to bring me dinner later on. These arms are as heavy as lead, if they hadn't been so important to be, I would have had them cut off," he muttered, his face reverting back into a scowl again as he turned his head to face away from Allen.

Allen stared at Kanda's form, his anger and irritation subsiding, as he once again felt sympathy for the longhaired exorcist. He once knew what it was like to lose an arm – courtesy of Tyki Mikk too – and Allen was well aware of how hard it was. When he lost that one arm, Allen had already felt pretty devastated and quite hopeless, but thankfully, he still had another arm to save him from the total depression.

Kanda didn't have another arm to use. He lost both. He had lost more than what Allen had lost. And yet, here he was, still struggling enough, having even the humor to tease and mess with Allen's life (not that Allen felt happy about that). What he was doing wasn't an easy thing, and so, despite their differences, Allen felt great respect for Kanda. If there were just something he could do to bring Kanda's arms back to normal, he'd do it. Maybe if this had happened in the ark, then Allen might have done something about it. But then, the white-haired boy was already aware that this was something out of his domain.

The only thing Allen can actually do was to stay with Kanda. They may not be close, but all the ventures they had faced together, saving each other's lives, placed at least a sense of camaraderie between them. And Allen never abandoned his friends. No matter how much of a bastard that person is.

"Hey, Kanda?"

"Hm?" Kanda grunted, mildly irritated at the interruption. He was halfway into dreamland and Allen's voice just had to ruin it.

"Would you like another massage?" Allen asked, turning his face away as the color pink appeared on his cheeks. If this were one of the few things he could do to make Kanda feel better in these moments of difficulty, then Allen would do it.

A heavy silence descended between the two, but was soon shattered by Kanda's voice.

"Are you sure you're not gay?" Kanda asked, still facing away from Allen, yet Allen could almost hear the smirk in the other man's voice.

The blush deepened, but Allen didn't want to think that Kanda managed to tease him once again. So instead of overreacting, Allen just played cool and released an exasperated sigh. "Yes or no? Just answer the damn question, Kanda."

"Fine, yes then," Kanda replied, smirking silently. Even without facing Allen, he could already imagine that blush that he had induced upon the boy's face. "Don't even dare touching things you shouldn't touch," he warned him, his voice taking a lower, more threatening tone. Allen released another sigh, and Kanda could almost visualize the boy rolling his eyeballs.

"I wouldn't, Kanda. I'm not a pervert like you," Allen retorted, and after those words, Kanda suddenly felt a pair of hands moving over the fabric of his shirt. A small, contented sigh escaped his lips, and Kanda relaxed his limbs, allowing himself to once again, surrender to the enchanting spell of Allen's hands.

Allen moved his hands across Kanda's back, firmly stroking upwards from the lower back all the way up to the neck, then circling around and back to his lower back region. Allen couldn't say why he enjoyed giving massages now, more than did before when he was still young. Long ago, he often abhorred having to work as a masseuse, since he almost always ended up with ugly or hot-tempered clients who would beat him if they weren't satisfied.

But massaging Kanda was different. Whenever Allen could feel Kanda's body relaxing and reacting to his touch, he felt a strange kind of jubilance. He really liked it when he touched Kanda like this. Tracing the well-defined muscles through the perfect contours of his flawless body –

"Beansprout."

Allen snapped out of his thoughts and gave Kanda a curious look. He had presumed that the samurai had been long asleep.

"Yeah, what is it?"

"Thanks."

At that, Allen's hands momentarily stopped, his gray eyes widening ever so slightly. The cursed boy couldn't believe his ears. Kanda was actually _thanking _him? That ungrateful jerk? Whoa. _This _was definitely the weirdest part of the day.

"Uhm, you're welcome," Allen muttered, not knowing what else to say. A small smile appeared on the young boy's face, though, a smile that depicted sincere contentment and happiness. It felt so nice to hear such a word come out of Kanda's lips, especially when it was directed towards him. Allen almost thought that all his efforts in helping Kanda had been useless, but now, after hearing those words, the white-haired exorcist began to think otherwise.

He continued with his massage, and when Kanda didn't reply after the next ten minutes, Allen finally stopped, and sat at the side of Kanda's bed, gazing at the other boy's sleeping face.

He looked a lot more peaceful when he was asleep, and definitely a lot less intimidating. His brows were still pulled into a small frown, but Allen presumed that Kanda's frown was something that already represented his entire existence, and without it, Kanda would be unrecognizable. The younger boy sat there silently, his body rocking slowly on the chair as he continued staring at Kanda's face. Once again, Kanda was beautiful. Allen couldn't deny it. No, he can't. That would be the biggest lie he would be making in his entire life.

His grey eyes traced the fine features of Kanda's face; his straight and handsome nose, those delicate lashes, and manly thick eyebrows. Allen noticed how Kanda's lips were partly opened, and soon enough, he found his eyes drawn to that particular area.

He was drawn to it, allured by how soft and inviting they looked. Unknowingly, Allen slowly started to lean towards Kanda's face, his eyes affixed on the other boy's lips, entrapped by a mysterious kind of enchantment he did not know of.

Slowly, slowly, he lowered himself down, until his face was barely an inch away from Kanda's. He could feel Kanda's breath against his skin, his steady warm breath that gently caressed Allen's face. With that, the temptation grew, and Allen could no longer find a way to stop his self. Excruciatingly slowly, as if his body wanted to torment him with suspense, his head lowered itself down, ever so slightly every second, bringing him nearer and nearer to that luscious piece of heaven…

"Beansprout."

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**A/N: Why do I love juicy cliffhangers? I don't know. 8DD Maybe I'm born to make them. –insert evil laugh here-**

**Note: The bathroom in the Order is somewhat like the shower rooms in school gyms where everyone is exposed. So people going through the door would immediately naked people. OwO Though, if the heater is on, the steam might be thick enough to hide a couple of…you know. 8DD**

**And it's funny to see how all Allen's struggle about his sexuality were all in vain. =))**

**Reviews, my darlings. 8DD**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Ahahahaha! Got a lot of complaints on the cliffhanger there. Oh well. 8DD I'm not actually sorry about, hehehehe. 8D **

**So here it is! The much awaited chapter! OwO Don't forget to review! I'll be hoping to have 70 before I update. XD**

**Read, REVIEW, and Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-man.**

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_Chapter 4_

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Allen's body was petrified to the point that he wasn't even breathing.

Gray eyes constricted in shock, the magic of the moment disappearing as dread settled in. Beads of sweat started forming on Allen's skin, and the young boy closed his eyes, placing a preordained wince on his face as he somewhat expected Kanda to punch him.

But it wasn't a punch that he received.

The moment Allen felt calloused fingers caressing the sides of his face, his eyes immediately shot open, wide with surprise and confusion. _What's going on? _His mind frantically asked, as the hands continued tracing the contours of his face. Allen would have had enough sense to move away while he still had the chance, but unfortunately, he was sinking slowly into the pleasurable spell of Kanda's touch.

Oh god, what heaven was this? Allen closed his eyes again and released a silent moan of contentment. A small voice at the back of his head knew that this was wrong, but at the moment Allen didn't care. He just liked this touch. That's all.

A sudden pulling action brought him back to earth, and once again, Allen's eyelids flew open, but the shock that reappeared in his eyes hardly justified the shock he was feeling at that precise second.

Their lips… There was no longer a gap in between them.

Allen's eyes remained open, his body finding a hard time to cope with the incident. He just stayed there, as rigid as a statue while Kanda's hands held his head firmly into place. The feeling of his soft, warm lips against his was very pleasurable, and Allen could somewhat taste a part of the older boy through such a contact. Soon he felt some nibbling on his lower lip, begging for entry. Allen, knowing nothing about how to kiss someone, opened his lips since he didn't know what else he should do.

A warm, wet tongue evaded his mouth and Allen released a small gasp in surprise. Yet, he still couldn't pull away. It was a sensation he had never felt before in his life, something he never dreamed of going through. In spite of that, here he was, kissing the man he hated before but pitied now, and he wasn't even sure what he was doing.

Allen wanted to return the kiss. He really wanted to. But as Kanda's tongue brushed against every part of his lips, the more his body froze. He couldn't understand it. His mind was screaming for control but he couldn't feel it. He couldn't make his body move. He couldn't make his tongue move. It was as if that small part of his brain, that small part that was still sane, was stopping him from doing something so…so…

The disappearance of that warmth broke his train of thought and Allen stared at Kanda in silence, his mouth slightly ajar and wet. The samurai had groaned and muttered something incoherent, then turned over to the side and started breathing normally once more.

Realization struck Allen like a horrible stampede of coffee-dosed akuma.

All this time Kanda's eyes were closed. All this time he was _asleep._

That recognition finally made him snap out of his petrified form, and Allen immediately stumbled away from Kanda, his mouth flying to his mouth. _No… _ he thought, as he stared at Kanda, who was dreaming away as if nothing had happened. _That's impossible._ Allen knew that it was definitely _not _possible for Kanda to dream about such things. Uhm, okay, maybe he could._ But it wasn't about me, right? _He asked himself, hoping that such a fact would be reassuring. _Though, why did he say "beansprout" before he touched me…_

Whoa. Whoa. Wait a minute.

He _touched _Allen?!

The younger boy stared Kanda's immotile arms that were so fascinatingly active a while ago. _What the hell is going on? _His mind asked, getting greatly confused. How could Kanda move his arms when he was asleep? Allen couldn't figure it out. He was certain that Kanda wasn't pretending to be handicapped before. He was just too proud for such a thing. So, why on earth did his hands move when he…when he…

A bright red blush appeared on Allen's face. _God, _he though, all embarrassed. _What have I done to deserve this?_

Allen didn't wait for god's answer. That celestial dude never replied, anyway. As silently as he could, Allen stumbled out of Kanda's room and ran to Komui's office, the redness on his face never seeming to go away.

-----------------------------

Kanda opened his eyes and emitted a small yawn. That sleep did him some good, and the longhaired exorcist felt particularly energized. He would have stretched his arms the way he usually would but… well, no need to ruin the morning with that fact.

There was also something strange about his sleep. It had been a long time since he actually dreamed, and Kanda knew that this time, he did dream, but unfortunately, he just couldn't remember. _What was I dreaming about? _He wondered, a bit curious. It should have been a pretty important dream if he was feeling a bit uneasy about it in the morning. _Maybe I'll remember it later,_ he thought, and let the uneasiness fade away.

Kanda jumped out of his bed with a bit of difficulty, but he managed it nevertheless. Sunlight was streaming into his room, and he checked the clock, surprised that he had slept in. It bothered the samurai a bit, since he was used to getting up really early just to train. But now, of course, he wouldn't be able to do such a thing.

Without that beansprout's help, that is.

Kanda knew that he wouldn't be able to get dressed by himself, so he heaved a grudging sigh as he kicked his door open and walked out of his room. _Where's that beansprout? _ He wondered as he walked around the halls. It was breakfast time, so Allen would probably be eating his way to hell again in the Dining Hall.

Kanda smirked at the thought, but this sudden movement made him realize how dry his lips were. Automatically his tongue grazed over them, moistening them with his own saliva. That was when he suddenly _tasted _something strange in his mouth. It was a taste foreign to him, although he couldn't deny how delicious it was. Kanda licked his lips and again, there it was once more. That taste he didn't know of. Kanda had no idea where it came from, or how it got on his lips…

"Yuu~!"

A nerve popped out of Kanda's forehead. He recognized that annoying voice. The only person who had the guts to call him his first name had returned.

"I told you _never _to call me like that, didn't I?" he hissed, his eyes downright homicidal. Lavi just laughed and placed an arm on Kanda's shoulder. "Well, Yuu, I don't think you would be able to do anything about it right now," he replied, winking at his fuming friend. "Komui wanted me to fetch you from your room, but when I arrived there, I was surprised to see that you were gone. How'd you twist the doorknob? With your mouth?"

"Shut the fuck up, you stupid rabbit," Kanda growled, shaking off Lavi's hand from his shoulder. "If you came back just to insult me, then better go and find yourself another mission because you're just wasting your time."

"Aww, Yuu, don't be too touchy. I'm sorry, m'kay? Anyway, let's get going to Komui's office. He said he discovered the reason behind your ailment."

Kanda suddenly froze and stared at Lavi in shock. "What did you say?"

"I said, Komui found out why you got your arms are all useless now," Lavi patiently chirped, knowing how this must be affecting his friend. "Though I think he's still figuring out how to fix – Oi! Wait up, Yuu!"

Kanda had already abandoned Lavi and started marching towards Komui's office. The possibility of having his arms back ASAP was something that made Kanda very excited indeed. Though, he didn't show this, of course. He'd rather be lame for life than to be seen jumping around in joy like a hyper lunatic.

The samurai soon arrived in front of Komui's office, and without further hesitation, Kanda kicked the door open with all his might.

"OWW!! ARGH!!"

The door flung open, and as it did, it hit a certain white-haired boy who was just about to go out the aforementioned door. As Kanda stepped into the room, he glanced impassively at the growling boy who was clutching his swelling forehead and bleeding broken nose.

"Godfh dammisth Khamdah!" *_God, dammit Kanda!_ Allen hollered, though the blood running down his nose made his voice sound very nasal. Lenalee, who was in the room with him, immediately ran to Komui's medicine cabinet and took out an ice pack. "Are you okay, Allen-kun?" she asked, wiping away some of the blood with her handkerchief, and handing the ice pack to Allen. "Yesh, Ihm hokey. Donsh whorrhie." *_Yes, I'm okay. Don't worry. _

"Stop talking, beansprout. You sound really stupid," Kanda commented before walking past the boy and towards Komui who was frowning. "What's this thing I heard about you knowing what caused this 'ailment' of mine?"

"Don't you know how to knock, Kanda?" Komui asked, exasperated. He'll have to replace that broken lock _again. _"You could have done it with your knee, you know."

"Whatever. Just spit it out, already," Kanda snapped, getting impatient. If he could, Kanda would have crossed his arms over his chest just to point out how pissed off he was. "Fine, fine," Komui replied, sighing as he took a folder from your desk. "Last night, Allen reported to have seen you move your hands. While you were asleep."

Komui paused, giving Kanda some time to cope.

Indeed it was a pretty hard thing for the samurai to understand. He glanced at Allen who was still busy tending to his broken nose. "Are you messing with me?" he asked, incredulously.

"No, I'm not," Komui answered, having expected such a reaction from Kanda. "No wonder we didn't find anything damaged in your arms. Tyki Mikk did not attack them. The one thing he targeted was your _brain, _specifically, your _spinocerebellum._"

"Spino—what?" He impatiently asked, having no tolerance for scientific crap.

"Spinocerebellum. It is a part of the brain's cerebellum that regulates body and limb movements. Apparently he had done something to that damage that specific part, though he inflicted only enough damage to make your arms solely the ones immotile. We don't know how to fix the damage yet, but we'll know more after the X-ray. After you eat, go down to the Science Department," he explained. "Allen-kun will accompany you there."

Kanda once again glanced at Allen, who was now silently watching him. A small frown appeared on the samurai's face as he noticed that slight blush that appeared on the other boy's face when their eyes met. He then began to wonder what exactly his hands were doing while he was asleep.

"Wait a minute, Komui. I still don't get one thing. How come my hands were moving when I was asleep?" he asked, more perplexed than before.

"Oh, yes. I forgot to mention that. I'm not really that sure but since the spinocerebellum only reacts to conscious orders, I think that when sub-conscious impulses step in, the damage Tyki Mikk had done doesn't apply. So in short, you can move your arms only when you're unconscious or asleep," Komui replied.

Kanda bit his lip. That didn't make things any better. Who cares if he could move them in his sleep? As if he'll be snoring when the akuma came. "What did I do to that twerp anyway? How'd he notice?"

"Well, he said –"

"You smacked me right on the face with the back of your hand, you bastard!" Allen snapped at him, cutting off Komui's reply. His voice was back to normal now, since the blood flow has stopped. "And I was just placing a blanket over you, for heaven's sake!"

One of the things Allen was proud of was his ability to lie. He did it so fluidly, as if he was speaking a well-supported truth. His prowess in deceit was exceptional for it was the only lesson Marian Cross had taught him with efficiency. Though, if Allen could help it, he'd rather not lie.

"Oh," Kanda replied, inwardly sighing in relief. He thought that it was something a lot more serious. Oh well. At least his sub-consciousness had some sort of humor. Maybe next time he'd actually land a punch on someone's face, hopefully Allen's. "Well, that actually isn't my fault, beansprout. Don't be such a sissy."

Allen scowled but kept his mouth shut. One of the lessons he learned from this master was never to overreact. It'll just make his lie very obvious.

"Are you even certain that this is reversible?" Kanda questioned, narrowing his eyes on Komui. The one thing he hated was to have hope and then have his hopes thwarted. Komui shook his head. "I'm sorry, Kanda, but I don't know. This is the first time I've had a case like this, and even if we could do something to fix it, I have a feeling that it would be a pretty lethal operation since because we'll have to crack your skull open," he explained, his lips pursed into a thin line.

"I don't care if it's lethal. You know that I won't be dying easily, anyway," Kanda hastily stated. He looked at Komui and saw the disdain on the man's face. Komui had never approved of Kanda using up his life energy so leisurely. "Value life," he said, an irony in the samurai's ears, for "valuing" life was something difficult to do in their line of work. He wasn't like that beansprout who got so emotional every time someone died. Jeez, it's just a dead person for heaven's sake.

"Say what you want Kanda, but without my permission, you wouldn't get a brain operation. Until I find a safe method of curing your ailment, you will have to survive without your arms for now. Allen's going to start with your training today, because you have to get used to the weight of your hands," Komui said, as he placed his documents away. "And if you're still wondering why it's Allen and not Lenalee who's going to train you, well, Lenalee is currently assigned to a mission together with Lavi and Bookman. The three of them are taking in all the missions you and Allen missed and will be missing."

"Like I said, why can't the beansprout go on missions instead?" Kanda hissed, though with less conviction than before. Allen's presence didn't really bother him anymore, but he wasn't going to let others notice about this growing "friendship" with the other boy.

"You should know. I announced it before, right?" Komui replied, his voice suddenly becoming grave. Kanda then remembered about the 14th Noah and all those shit he didn't want to accept. Beansprout was beansprout. He wasn't one of those fucking bastards. A scowl appeared on face, and Kanda shut his mouth unhappily. What Central had ordered, the Headquarters must follow. Che. Kanda hated being controlled like this.

The boy turned around and stomped out of the door, but before he disappeared he stopped and turned to Allen, who was still scowling. "Pull yourself together, beansprout and hurry up. I have to finish eating quickly." After saying those words, Kanda left the room with an annoyed expression upon his face.

Allen rolled his eyes and stood up, still cradling his broken nose that had stopped bleeding, but was still painfully broken, nonetheless. _Damn that Kanda! He could have apologized, that bastard! Grr!_ "Thanks, Lenalee," Allen said, smiling at his friend while his mind conjured wicked thoughts about the aforementioned male. "Sorry if I'll have to give you much work. Kanda needs my help, and the Central's still suspicious of me, so I can't do anything about it. I hope you understand. Sorry."

"Ah, don't worry, Allen-kun! I can manage, also, Lavi and the others are all here to help! We really hope that Kanda would get healed soon. I applaud you for being so patient with him, despite his attitude. Hope you wouldn't hate each other too much after all this," Lenalee replied, smiling at the boy. There was something about Allen and Kanda's relationship that intrigued her. She just couldn't place a finger on it. There was something there, nagging at the corner of her woman's intuition – which was always right, by the way – something that appeared every time she witnessed Allen and Kanda arguing. Only Allen could induce such a reaction from Kanda, and only Kanda could sure piss Allen off. It was both mysterious and cute.

"Okay then! I'll have to go and make sure Kanda apologizes for _this_," Allen said, pointing at the red swell on his broken nose. "If he won't, I'll make sure that I'll break his nose too just to make things even," he mused, then caught the stern look on Lenalee's face. "…Or maybe not. I guess I'll have to keep up with his stubbornness, huh?" She grinned and Allen grinned in reply. "Komui, you better hurry up with Kanda's cure," he grunted at the direction of Lenalee's brother who was starting to snore on his pile of paperwork again. "Or else you might lose him for good."

"Wake up, nii-san!" Lenalee called out, and took one of the books on the shelf, throwing it at her brother mercilessly. A loud _thump! _followed by half a scream echoed throughout the room, and both Allen and Lenalee snickered as Komui started to whimper. "Yes, yes! I'll get on it as soon as possible! Lenaleeeee~! Why'd you hit me?? Don't you love your nii-san anymore~?? Waaaah~!! My little sister has grown to be so different!"

"You do know that I'm not actually feeling sorry for you, don't you, Nii-san?" Lenalee sighed and rolled her eyes. "Let's go Allen-kun! I'll help you feed Kanda. How does he eat by the way? Do you mouth-feed him?" She asked, ignoring the wails of her eccentric brother. Allen immediately bit his tongue before he could say "yes"; fortunately, he remembered the deal he made with Kanda. "Ah, no! Kanda would rather starve to death than have someone shove food into his mouth," Allen drawled and sighed, hoping that his expression would make his lie more believable. "Kanda _drinks _his food now. And no, I'm not talking about soba soup. His diet is now restricted to porridges, vegetable soups, and some mashed food that he could sip from a straw."

_Okay, that's believable enough. I hope she buys it,_ Allen thought, looking at Lenalee with his poker face. The girl scrutinized her with those suspicious eyes of hers, and after one full minute of staring, Allen began to have the feeling that Lenalee could read right through him. However, instead of busting him out, the girl just smiled. "Okay, Allen-kun. I believe you. That's weird and funny, though. Kanda eating from a _straw?" _She released something that sounded like a snort and a chuckle, though Allen couldn't tell which was which. "Take a picture next time," she suggested, grinning mischieviously.

"Aww, Lenalee, if I wanted to die, I would have gone to the Millennium Earl, okay?" Allen retorted, and both of them ended up laughing. Deep inside, Allen was relieved. He really thought Lenalee had discovered their secret. "Okay now, gotta run and help _almighty _Kanda eat his meal," he said as he started walking towards the door. "See ya around!"

"Don't fight with Kanda anymore!" Lenalee called at him, making her voice sound more like an order than a request. It would be bad if those two killed each other now.

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Kanda was still pretty much pissed off when Allen came into his room with the food. "What took you so long, beansprout?" he growled, a scowled fixated on his face. "And why aren't you using chopsticks? Didn't I tell you to go and learn? All the metal in the fork are making the soba taste bad."

"Well that's your problem now, isn't it?" Allen hissed as he loudly slammed the food tray on the table. "I don't _care _how the food tastes for you as long as it keeps you alive. If you don't want to eat it, I'll shove it down your throat. End of story."

"I'll kill you if you do," Kanda snapped, glaring at Allen.

"Just go and try you handicapped bastard," Allen retorted, narrowing his eyes into an icy stare.

For a long time both of them continued staring at each other with vile expressions, and if looks could kill, the Order would be lacking two exorcists by now.

Finally, after a full five minutes of trying to melt each other's eyeballs off, Allen sighed and rolled his eyes. "This is stupid, Kanda. You know that."

Kanda didn't reply, but merely grunted as he tore his gaze away and decreased the intensity of his scowl. He was still angry but having been able to release a bit of his temper into Allen made him more comfortable. It would have been more satisfying if they had a fistfight, but that was virtually impossible, taking into consideration his circumstances.

Allen took the soba from the tray, rolled the noodles around his fork; the way people will eat spaghetti, and dipped it into the sauce. "Here you go," Allen said as he raised the fork into the other boy's mouth. "Don't make me use the 'Here comes the akuma' joke again. It's getting old."

"You used that only once, beansprout," Kanda replied, before he ate the mouthful of soba. After swallowing, he added, "How could it possibly get old?"

"Well, I hate being repetitive," Allen drawled, sticking out his tongue in a form of mockery. "A joke becomes redundant when used twice in the same company."

Kanda snorted at such an explanation. "What, did you learn that from Cross too? Or an experience in those odd jobs of yours, perhaps? Stories are spreading about your past, beansprout, and tell you what? I'm listening."

When that brilliant shade of crimson appeared on Allen's face, Kanda smirked and inwardly snickered. The sight of an abashed Allen Walker was really funny. It was fun to break his annoying poker face every now and then. "Shut up, ba-Kanda!" Allen hissed, looking away. His past life with Cross wasn't actually something he was proud of, and for the people in the Order to actually be talking about how big his debts were… Allen couldn't help but feel nauseous whenever he'd think about it.

Kanda merely averted his eyes. "Whatever, beansprout. Just don't go yapping about your tricks of trade. I'm not interested," he stated, and opened his mouth for the next spoonful of food. Allen grunted but didn't reply, and accidentally shoved the food too hard into Kanda's mouth. As a reflex, Kanda immediately spat the food out before he choked. "_What the fuck are you doing?!"_

"Gah!" Allen gasped as the food splattered all over his face. "I'm the one who should be asking that question, you jerk!" He grabbed the table napkin from the tray and hastily wiped away the tidbits of saliva-marinated soba. Allen had a feeling that there were some stuck in his hair, but without a mirror, he couldn't possibly get them out without making a mess. "_Why the hell did you spit on me?!"_

"For fucking choking me, idiot!" Kanda snapped, and a murderous glare once again "graced" his face. Allen scowled and returned the same glare, matching the intensity of the other's killing intent. "It was an accident, you bastard! You didn't have to spit on me, for heaven's sake!"

"That was a freakin' reflex!"

"Well, I still deserve an apology, don't I?"

"No, I don't think so."

"You…!"

Allen ran out of nice profane words that he could use against Kanda, so all he could do was sigh in exhaustion. This was getting redundant, really. His scowl softened and molded into a tired expression, showing off all the stress he'd been feeling all that time. "Look, Kanda," he started, knowing that if he didn't apologize first, no one would. "Okay, I'm sorry. I guess I got a bit touchy when you mentioned about my past. It wasn't actually composed of happy memories, you know?" Allen averted his eyes on the bowl of soba noodles, a sort of distracted look on his face.

Kanda sensed the sudden shift in the atmosphere and noticed the change in Allen's demeanor. Something in the boy's face made Kanda throw away his temper for a moment, and turn his face into something milder than a glare. "Well," he muttered, looking away. "It's good we got that clear. Sorry, I guess, for spitting on you, beansprout. But really, it's not my fault you were in my line of fire."

Allen inwardly snorted at the apology. It was typical of Kanda to apologize, then put the blame on someone other than himself. _Oh well, _Allen thought._ At least the word "sorry" managed to come out of his mouth somehow. If not, I would have walked out of here long ago._ "Apology accepted, I guess," Allen replied, shrugging. "And, oh. The name's Allen."

"Whatever," Kanda grunted, smirking slightly. Finally, the tension was gone and things were back to normal. "Let's hurry up and get over this breakfast, beansprout. I want to know how to get my arms moving again," he added, and then opened his mouth to welcome another forkful of the soba noodles. The white-haired boy's face suddenly dropped at those words, a feat that the older one noticed. "Beansprout?" he asked, in a tone of curiosity that craftily masked his innate concern. "What's the matter?"

Allen looked at him hesitantly, and then looked back down at the bowl of soba. "Well… Kanda, if the only way to cure your hands was to crack your skull open, are you still going to go through it?"

"Yesh," Kanda blatantly answered, his supposedly firm voice marred by the chewing movements of his mouth.

An anxious frown appeared on Allen's face. "But what if it's dangerous? Komui said it himself…you could get killed in the process. I know you've been having miracle recuperations and all that stuff that I couldn't understand, but this involves your _brain, _Kanda," the boy urged. "Maybe you could just try living without your arms. Komui could change the form of Mugen to a weapon that could be strapped on to your legs and then— "

"Someone broke my neck once," Kanda interrupted, his voice pretty much impassive, as if he was talking about a little cut instead of a lethally broken neck. "But look, I'm still alive." He paused and stared Allen for a long time. Finally, after a full minute of heavy silence, he resumed with his voice lower and huskier than before. "You know, beansprout, there's one thing about me that you should know about."

The samurai abruptly leaned towards Allen's face, making the other boy stumble back in surprise. A blush would have reappeared on the younger boy's face again if it weren't for the fact that Kanda looked so serious. "I will _never _die until I fulfill my life's goal. A goal that you don't need to know. So stop increasing your blood pressure by getting worried over my life, because I don't want someone like you to die because of a pathetic heart attack," he gravely stated, his face dead-on serious.

There was a sort of scary look in Kanda's eyes that made Allen nervously gulp and just nod in affirmation, even if he didn't really understand what the other had said.

"Good," Kanda sighed, seeing that he had nailed the message into Allen's skull. He opened his mouth, and Allen silently placed another mouthful of food into the samurai's mouth. "Another thing, beansprout," he added, as he swallowed.

"It's Allen, Kanda. Do I have to spell it for you? A-L-L-E-N. Allen. Get it?" Allen recited in exasperation and annoyance. Kanda rolled his eyes and ignored him, something that made Allen's lips twist into a small scowl. "Try to learn using chopsticks next time. Really, beansprout. For a European like you, the taste of metal utensils might be common, but for a Japanese person like me, it's really disgusting. If you try to learn it, then maybe we wouldn't be fighting often in the future."

"But there's no one available to teach me," Allen unhappily whined.

"Go ask Jerry," Kanda suggested. "He cooks my soba using wooden chopsticks, because he knows that I hate the taste of metal. He'll teach you how to do it."

"But he's busy," Allen persisted. It's not that he didn't want to learn how to use chopsticks. He just didn't want to bother other people's lives. Also, if he suddenly asked to be taught how to use chopsticks, suspicions would arise, and soon, everybody would find out about their mouth-feeding sessions. "And Kanda, if I ask someone to teach me how to eat with chopsticks, people might start getting suspicious, and soon they'll know that I'm mouth-feeding you. So you'll have to bear with these metal utensils, or maybe I'll get someone to carve wooden utensils for me."

Kanda saw the point in Allen's words and was about to emit an unhappy growl when an idea came across his mind. "What if I teach you how to do it, beansprout?" he suggested, smirking. "It'll be better that way. I get to eat soba the way I want it, and you get to find another way of eating too. It benefits both of us."

Allen's eyes twitched when Kanda hinted about his eating "disorder." Well, it wasn't actually his fault that he turned out to be a parasite-type, was it? Kanda didn't need to rub it in.

But the older guy did have a point. Allen's been long curious on how two thin sticks could make a person have a satisfying meal. It wouldn't be too bad. And with Kanda teaching him, people wouldn't have an idea about what's going on in his Personal Assistant services.

"Okay, Kanda. You've got a deal. As long as it keeps your spit away from my hair, I'm fine with it," Allen chirped, feeling very accomplished today. At least they got to fix their problems diplomatically. No need to head-butt each other or pinned each other to the floor. Although he did sustain a broken nose earlier, Allen already pardoned Kanda for that.

"You're pretty vain, you know that?" Kanda lightly sneered, a smirk on his face again.

"Heh, I don't want to walk about with leftovers all over me, Kanda," Allen teased back, preparing another forkful of soba noodles and moving it towards Kanda's mouth. The samurai obediently took it in, and chewed without further ceremony. The tension was now completely obliterated, and as the food disappeared from the tray, a small smile grew on both the boys' faces.

That was a good morning, indeed

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**A/N: A non-cliffhanger for once. 8DD Haha! I don't want to end up with hate mails about how my cliffhangers were being unnecessary. 8DD Hehe. So once again, the deal's on! **

**Review my dahrlings! 8DD**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Sorry for the delay, ;w; Got a little busy with a school production. 8DD Here it is! The next chapter! Wheeee~**

**Hope to get at least 85 reviews on this one! 8DD Love YULLEN forever!! **

**Warning: There is a profanity mantra in here that is not advisable for kids or for people who plan on living their lives without being defiled by profane words. 8DD  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-Man. But if Katsura is selling it, I'll be happy to purchase it. 8DD And make YULLEN official. OwO Hehehe.**

**-----------------------------------**

_Chapter 5_

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"_What is this place?"_

_Kanda found himself standing in the middle of a forest he'd never heard of, with every towering presence of oaks, maples, evergreens, and cedars blocking out the bright rays of the burnished sun. Only tiny beams of light managed to penetrate the holes between the crowds of different leaves, giving a rather esoteric touch to the visage. The boy could hear the sound of birds flying and chirping in their nests. He could hear the sound of tiny animals scurrying about in the grass, with other small organisms disturbing the lowland landscape. _

_Though he disliked being in unfamiliar places such as that certain area, Kanda didn't feel the level of irritation and slight anxiety he always carried around with him. Strangely enough, the foreign forest soothed his nerves and forced him to relax, making him think that there was nothing in the world that could shatter his peace. Even the frown on his face disappeared, and only the slightest quirk on his brows was seen. _

_Then he started walking._

_Kanda had no idea where he was going, but he continued walking anyway. The air in the forest was pleasant and sweet, filled with the intermingling scents of chrysanthemums, rhododendrons, jasmines, daisies, roses, and other sweet smelling flowers that emitted various intoxicating aromas. The exorcist started paying attention to the small supposedly "mundane" details of his surroundings, noticing the variety of textures he identified, and the nature-granted colors that were vibrantly exhibited around him. The simple white t-shirt that he was wearing was now lined with sweat, and only then did Kanda realize how humid the place was becoming. _

_The sound of rushing water caught his attention, and only then was he able to acknowledge his thirst. Moving towards the aforementioned direction, Kanda soon reached a small stream flowing with crystal clear water. Scooping up a handful, the young exorcist swallowed a mouthful of cool water and sighed in content. As he made his eyes look around the banks, Kanda caught sight of a person sleeping against a boulder. _

_A sense of familiarity came upon him, although it was so vague that he could not bring himself to recognize the other young boy, dressed in the same plain white shirt and tattered jeans that he wore, who asleep by the stream. Walking over to the sleeping person, Kanda was about to nudge him awake when his hands suddenly froze. Dark eyes widened as the studied the stunning features of the sleeping boy, something he didn't notice until he saw it up close. _

_Those silky silver strands of hair glimmered sophisticatedly under the bright sun, while some of his locks draped over his face in a way of acting like a small silver curtain to shield his skin from the heat. Kanda's eyes traced the perfect curve of his face, and the appealing softness of his nose; neither did he miss those think lashes on his closed lids and those fairly shaped brows. There was peculiar red line that trailed down from a reverted pentagram on his forehead, down to his left eyelid, and traveling all the way through his cheek. He didn't pay much attention to it though, giving that strange left arm the same ignorance. _

_What truly distracted him were those lips. _

_The boy's lips – whatever his name was – were plump, pink, and tempting, that Kanda couldn't stop staring at them. That small, sensible part of his mind said that this was wrong, but the reckless, more dominant side of him told it to shut the hell up. He didn't care. Nobody else was around. He could do whatever he wanted, and be free from any form of humiliation afterwards. _

_And so he did whatever he wanted. _

_In a way so casual that it was almost unbelievable, Kanda took hold of the anonymous boy's chin and pulled those luscious lips towards his._

---------------------------------

So, it happened yet _again. _

Allen found himself bending over Kanda's sleeping form, his supposedly immotile arms holding a firm but comfortable grasp on Allen's chin while their mouths carried out a small battle of their own, with their tongues being the only available weapons. It was just like that first time, when Kanda's arms had magically revived, active and strong, just like his mouth at the moment.

Unlike last time though, Allen knew better than to remain petrified.

His hands held on the bed as it supported his leaning torso, his mouth wide open and ready to take advantage of Kanda's sleeping "disorders."

All morning he'd been licking his lips over and over again, savoring the remnants of Kanda's taste. He had never been kissed before, and never had he imagined it to feel so… so good and delicious. It was an immoral form of lust, yes, but at least no one knew about it. Heck, not even his kissing partner knew about it. It was just between him and Kanda's unconsciousness.

Allen hungrily attacked Kanda's mouth, pushing his tongue through as he licked and tasted every single corner of the older boy's mouth. He could taste peppermint, some hint of soba and…and a touch of nature. No, that wasn't right. He couldn't taste trees in Kanda's mouth now, could he? No, it was something _related _to nature, like the freshness of a spring morning, or the pleasant warmth of a summer night. He couldn't fully describe it, but Allen decided not to waste his time thinking about it. He was going to let his senses reign over his mind, and let the intoxicating goodness of Kanda's mouth enslave him.

Then suddenly, everything stopped.

Allen felt Kanda's mouth freeze, and slowly, the samurai disconnected his lips from his and gently let go of his chin. His hands, which were passionately caressing the side of his neck and his hair only a few seconds ago, were now lifeless things. The silver-haired boy stared in shock as Kanda turned over to face the wall and started to silently snore.

It took a full minute for Allen to realize that heaven was over, and he was now thrown back to an improvised hell called _reality. _He stumbled backward with his face still feverishly red because of the sudden rush of blood due to the excitement as well as the slight embarrassment caused by the previous scenario. Taking a deep breath, Allen unlocked the door and twisted the knob, giving Kanda one last longing look before he departed from the room.

_Why do good things have to end? _

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Kanda woke up, feeling slightly disoriented and confused. One of the things that confused him was why his mouth was _wet. _And not the damp kind of wet, but the really _wet _kind of wet. He never drooled in his sleep. Ever. So now, why was his lips seemingly coated with saliva. And when he licked his lips, it tasted different…but familiar. Different in a sense that it was foreign; surely not from his own mouth. Familiar because…he'd tasted it before. Yesterday morning, when he had just woken up. Although this time, there was more on his lips and even inside his mouth.

_What the hell is going on? _He wondered, thinking at how strange things were going. He also had a weird dream that night. It was vague and barely vivid now that he was awake, and all he could remember was a kiss. He couldn't even remember the face of the person he kissed. All he could really recall was the feeling of his lips clashing against those luscious pink lips of the other person, and falling into an alternate heaven as both of them shared a very passionate exchange of mouth fluids. There was nothing else that he could remember. _Well, at least I'm sure that there wasn't any sex in it,_ his mind mused. _Or else, there'd really be something wrong with me._

He sat up from his bed and gazed blankly around the room for a moment, before averting his eyes towards his limp arms. Kanda momentarily wondered what he had been unconsciously using them for last night. He hopped he might have slapped that beansprout again, or better, actually punched him. Not that he had a grudge against that twerp; he just somehow liked the thought of his handprint on the boy's annoyingly smug face.

Oh how he would just _love _to punch someone once he gets his arms back. And that Noah son of a bitch would just be the _perfect_ punching bag.

He stamped on that large red button that had been attached to a corner of his room's floor, another one of Komui's stupid ideas. Since Allen couldn't really afford to spend the rest of his life in the room, that darn supervisor had installed an idiotic contraption that, once activated, would alert a small beeper in the form of an earring that was on Allen's ear. This would immediately tell the boy that Kanda was in need of his help in some various matters.

As Kanda waited for Allen's arrival, he silently stared at his walls made up of cobblestone bricks, wondering about the details of his previous dream. It wasn't just a normal dream, he was sure of that. How could it be normal if he had _kissed _somebody in it? That was just plain weird and bullshit.

The frown deepened and almost carved themselves into his facial features as he continued pondering on the abnormal events that occurred every time he slept. First, there were those unusual dreams that he knew were important but he just _couldn't _remember. The first dream was totally blank; the second dream left the memory of a kiss. If that wasn't strange, then someone could hang him right now for being a paranoid freak.

Second, there was that foreign taste in his mouth. Surely, after living for eighteen years with his own saliva pooling inside his mouth, his tongue would have recognized the taste. It was obvious that it was another person's saliva. The question was obvious: _How the fuck did it get there?_

More perplexity appeared on Kanda's face as he realized that there was only one possible – and most likely the most _sane _– answer to that question: He kissed somebody.

For real.

Not in some motherfucking dream.

For real. For goddamn real.

Kanda could feel his eyes widening in shock as his pupils drastically constricted, making them almost nonexistent. His whole body was shaking – except for his arms, of course – and he could almost see his head steaming and swelling because of absurdity of the information that was aggregating in his brain. Had he just been given the chance to have motile arms, he would have committed _seppuku _(samurai suicide) by now.

_Shit, fuck, damn, shit, fuck, damn, shit, fuck, damn, shit, fuck, damn, shit, fuck, damn, shit, fuck, damn, shit, fuck, damn, shit, fuck, damn, shit, fuck, damn, shit, fuck, damn, shit, fuck, damn, shit, fuck, damn, shit, fuck, damn, shit, fuck, damn, shit, fuck, damn, shit, fuck, damn, shit, fuck, damn, shit, fuck, damn, shit, fuck, damn, shit, fuck, damn, shit, fuck, damn, shit, fuck, damn, shit, fuck, damn, shit, fuck, damn, shit, fuck, damn, shit, fuck, damn, shit, fuck, damn, shit, fuck, damn, shit, fuck, damn, shit, fuck, damn, shit, fuck, damn, shit, fuck, damn, shit, fuck, damn, shit, fuck, damn, shit, fuck, damn, shit –_

Before he could carry on with his inner mantra of profanities, however, a sharp knocking sound broke him off his reverie, followed by the sound of the doorknob turning. "Hey Kanda, you awake? Got a call from the beeper and –"

"Of course I'm awake, you idiot!" Kanda snapped. "How the fuck would I be able to kick that goddamn stupid button in the first place? Use your brain for once _if_ you have one, beansprout!"

That "greeting" caught Allen off guard, and for a couple of seconds he wasn't able to formulate a witty retort of some sort. When he recovered, however, it wasn't a witty retort that was ravaging inside his mind at that moment. It was annoyance. Annoyance that was so pure, it could almost be mistaken for anger or loathing. "_What the hell is wrong with you, you jerk?_" Allen yelled back, his own face distorting into a scowl as his eyes transfixed a fiery glare onto the hot-tempered samurai. "I came in here because _you _called me for some help, goddamn it," he hissed, gnashing his teeth in the process. "And now you're being a jackass with stupid morning mood swings again, as if we've never had that no-arguing agreement in the first place. If you want to go and eat soba with a straw, fine with me! Good morning and good riddance to you, ba-Kanda!"

And with that, the door slammed shut, leaving only the longhaired boy inside, who was still gaping at the empty space where Allen was standing. He didn't really expect such a reaction from the younger boy, more so did he _not _expect to see that wounded expression on his face. They had always been bickering like that – sometimes even worse – for the past many months they've spent, living and fighting together, and never did Allen have such a hurt expression on his face. Until today, that is.

Long ago Kanda would have ignored such a "trivial" thing and carried on grumbling to himself how much of an idiot the people in the Order were. But now, the boy could not deny the fact that he was actually affected by the other boy's reaction to his morning outburst. Actually, _concerned _was a more appropriate and honest term, though Kanda would rather hide his actually sentiment behind the façade of "curiosity." He couldn't help but wonder what had caused that sudden change in Allen's reactions. In reality, Kanda was really expecting the boy to reply with one of those irritating, yet amusing remarks of his, and they'll go bickering until their stomachs remind them that it's time to shut up and eat. Those moments were a waste of time, yes, but they were also strangely _fun _in it's own way.

Now, there were none of those moments.

Kanda stood up from the bed and made his way to the door, kicking it open with firm but now docile force. That look on Allen's face somewhat forced his body to calm down and think about the other boy's feelings for once.

--------------------------------

His surroundings merged into a blur of grayscale visage, nothing really much distinct in detail due to the lack of proper vision caused by the accumulating tears in the boy's eyes. Allen ran away from Kanda's room, running towards a random direction as he bit his lips to restrain those small salty drops that dared to stream out of his eyes. He couldn't understand that heavy feeling in his chest, as if something hard had just struck his heart.

Allen knew that he shouldn't be acting like this. He should have stayed in that room, absorb all of Kanda's insults, paste that shrewd look on his face, and shoot Kanda with all his clever retorts until the samurai's ego disintegrated into unrecognizable ash. He should have done that instead of yelling uncannily at the older boy and running out of the room in the brink of tears. No, he should have been manlier than that.

But why did he feel so hurt?

It was strange, the way his heart was reacting to all of this. Allen had thought that he was already immune to Kanda's mood swings and foul mouth. Was he wrong about it? Was being accused to be "brainless" really a big deal? It wasn't that he and Kanda shared a deeper relationship other than mere camaraderie and rivalry. Even if he did enjoy those late night kisses, he was only there for the sake of pleasure and nothing else. Should he find a prostitute who was just a good a kisser as Kanda was, then he'd happily dump those clandestine moments of passion with the boy and go sleep with the aforementioned harlot. As simple as that, no complications like gay love to throw in.

…Right?

Allen found himself walking into a deserted corridor, and in there he decided to rest. Small gasps escaped his lips as he restocked his depraved lungs with some proper oxygen, while small droplets of perspiration fell from his forehead. His eyes were still clouded with the sheen of restrained tears, and small sniffs came out of his nose every now and then, while the back of his palm was always ready to wipe away any stubborn tear drop that found its way out of his eyes.

_What's wrong? _He asked himself, shadows covering his gray eyes as he stared distressingly at the ground. _This…this feeling…I just couldn't understand it…why am I so hurt? What's wrong with me? _

Was it because of Kanda acting much like a jackass again, when just the other day they'd been so diplomatic towards each other? _No, no, that would be too shallow, _Allen thought, hugging his knees as he buried his face in his thighs. Then what was it? What was that thing that kept him from acting normal under those circumstances? What kept him from putting up his infamous poker face; that face, which had concealed his emotions ever since Mana died? What made him snap?

_Maybe it had something to do with those night kisses after all, _a small voice from the back of his mind whispered.

_Nope, _Allen's logical mind contradicted. _No way. _

_Why not?_

_Because that's just too shallow too. And immorally disgusting. _

_Then why are you doing it?_

_Because it feels good. That's it._

_That's it? Really?_

_Yeah. That's it. No emotions or any of that mushy stuff attached. _

_If so…then why are you feeling so hurt?_

_That's what I've been asking about, idiot!_

"Hey, beansprout."

Allen's talking-to-a-small-voice-in-my-mind moment shattered as an all-too-familiar voice broke his train of thoughts. His head immediately shot up, his gray eyes widening as they processed the reality of Kanda's presence right in front of his crumpled form. The other male was sweating hard, with strands of his dark, royal blue hair adhering to his cheeks and neck. The sound of deep exhales was an obvious sign that Kanda had been running, and he had been running _fast. _His arms were as limp as before though, and even if they showed signs of perspiration too, they were as immotile as ever.

What was different was that look in the samurai's eyes. That bend on his eyebrows were retained, as well as that upturned smile on his lips, but his dark eyes held a much…gentler appearance. Kanda didn't have his intimidating aura turned on at that moment.

"Kanda?" Allen croaked, his voice broken by the release of emotional fluids that both streamed out of his eyes and nostrils. He was so surprised that he didn't even notice that he was already crying. "W-What are you doing here?" he tentatively asked, wondering if the other boy was _really _there, or if he was just hallucinating. The sound of Kanda's exasperated sigh, as well as the rolling motion of his eyes stated that he was very much real.

"I don't think you're that much of a retard to start hallucinating, beansprout, but for your sake I'll say it. Yes, I am here, in front of you while you're crying your heart out like some depressingly bullied victim," he replied, giving the boy a small kick just to knock him back to his senses. "Get up."

"My name is not 'beansprout'," Allen sniffed indignantly, and buried his face into his thighs once again, keeping his eyes averted from Kanda. "Go away."

"I didn't chase and look for you just to get shooed away like a dumb dog," Kanda impatiently stated, something that Allen replied to with a snort and a mutter that sounded like "yeah, you're a dumb dog," but Kanda was wise enough to ignore it just this once. He had run all this way to apologize, and he didn't want any outbursts to ruin the opportunity again. "Listen beansprout," he started, squatting in front of Allen's form. "I'm not here to yell at you again, okay? I'm here to…" he paused for a moment and swallowed, making that mouthful of sticky saliva seem to represent his pride. "I'm here to apologize, okay? I know I shouldn't have yelled at you like that when you were there to help. Though it was just really stupid of you to ask whether I was awake or not. I don't think I'd bother sleepwalking in the morning, beansprout."

"Wow, what an apology, Kanda," Allen drawled, rolling his eyes, yet deep inside he felt some sort of bubbling warmth. He was happy about Kanda stepping down from his "almight-ness" and actually apologizing for something he admitted to have done wrong. "You apologize to a person and then you insult that person. Very effective. Really. You'll have less enemies at this rate," he added, adding a healthy amount of sarcasm and teasing in his words, his own way of saying that Kanda was forgiven and there was no need to hold on to the tension between them.

"Che, whatever beansprout," Kanda replied, a small, _small _smile pulling at the ends of his lips. He could feel the atmosphere lighten between them and he felt somewhat relieved. "Now get off your butt and let's go get something to eat. You run so fast for such a small guy," he playfully sneered, smirking.

"Don't be mean just because you're taller," Allen whined, jumping up and sticking out his tongue. Kanda merely rolled his eyes. "Let's hurry up with the food beansprout. After the bath you'll have to start those footwork lessons that idiot Komui says that I need. I'm tired of idling around all day. I want to move."

_That's not actually true, _Allen thought, hiding a smile. _You move quite a lot when you're asleep. _"Well, fine Kanda. You don't need to be so demanding. A 'please' would have been really nice," Allen lightly grumbled as he started to walk towards the direction of the cafeteria. Kanda just snorted, that teensy-weensy smile still on his face as he followed the white-haired boy. "You do remember our no-massage-while-naked agreement right?" He asked the other boy, waiting for that response he'd always been amused of.

And surely enough, Allen grew rigid, his whole face becoming a bad but pretty convincing image of a ripe tomato. If Kanda had no form of self-control, he would have laughed out loud at that moment. Instead, a smug smirk just appeared on his face to express his amusement. "Oho, I'll take that for a 'no'," he remarked, his smirk growing as Allen grew more embarrassed. "I can't believe that you forgot such a thing, beansprout. You were planning something lewd again, weren't you?"

"Don't go and accuse me of perverse crimes Kanda," Allen hissed, really abashed now. In truth he really had forgotten about it. They made that agreement just yesterday afternoon, when they were having another one of their baths. Kanda had promised not to whine too much if Allen just scrubbed him and soaped him, without any spa treatments thrown into the package. Massages came before he slept, and _not_ when they both had barely anything on. "I didn't forget; I was just too preoccupied to remember," he added as an excuse, a reply that made Kanda snort in ridicule. "As if," he muttered and started walking towards another direction. "Routine as always. I'll be waiting in my room, beansprout. Don't take too long."

Allen stuck out his tongue and Kanda once again rolled his eyes. This was going to be another one of those days.

As they both parted Kanda once again licked his lips, still detecting that foreign yet addicting taste that was lingering in his mouth. _I will seriously find out who is the person who was kissing me, _he promised himself._ And then…when I do, I'll give her a piece of my mind. Good kisser or not, no one should kiss a sleeping, unknowing person. That's plain sexual harassment. _Kanda knew that any one of the women in the Order could have taken advantage of his current weakness.

_Tonight I'll catch that person for sure. Tonight._

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**A/N: I dunno if this fits the cliffhanger category or not, but if it does, then I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to be that way. 8DD **

**Read, review and ENJOY!**

**But most of all, review my dahrlings! 8DD**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Sorry everyone! Things had been so hectic in school lately, and with my lack of muse, I can barely type in anything for this new chapter! D8 Sorry! Really sorry for those who waited for so long!**

**And YAY!! -Man manga is back! XD**

**And for **kaydoodle **and all the others who reviewed again just to inspire me to update, thank you!! It worked! :)) **

**There's hints of lemon in here, by the way. I hope I don't offend anyone. No graphic sex, of course.**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own D. Gray-man.**

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_Chapter 6_

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"One more time!"

"Wait a minute, damn it!" Kanda growled, standing in a slightly crouched position in front of Allen who stood straight and agile, with a confident look on his semi-flushed face. Droplets of sweat meticulously trickled down their foreheads, falling from their skin and crashing on the floor like clear crystals shattering into infinite pieces. Kanda released abrupt gasps for air, his chest rising and falling in synchrony with his labored breath. They had been training all afternoon, nonstop for the past five hours, with only seconds taken from their water break for rest.

"Getting tired so quickly, Kanda?" Allen sneered, that crooked grin playing upon his face. "I thought that you'd be already used to these kinds of hardcore training. You train early every morning, right?"

"I train hardcore with my _hands, _beansprout," Kanda snapped, straightening up as he shook away some bothersome droplets of sweat. "The footwork just follows. I never wanted to grow up as a clown, so I never bothered with those ridiculous leg acrobatics."

"Well, you can say that, but still. You shouldn't be tiring out so quickly. It'd been just _five _hours. Normally, I could do seven straight hours of acrobatics without losing my breath," Allen boasted, giving Kanda another pitying look. "Ah, nevermind. I realize my mistake, Kanda," he drawled, obviously for the sake of annoying the other boy. "I should have taken into consideration your _weakness _when it came to non-sword-related stuff. I'm _sorry _for overestimating you."

Kanda's eyes narrowed as he glared daggers at the cocky, silver-haired boy who was really starting to piss him off. Oh god. If he just be granted with just a minute. Just _one _minute of having motile hands again, Kanda would gladly use it to beat the crap out of this damn beansprout. Just _one _minute. That was all he needed.

"Shut it, beansprout," he hissed, becoming really dead serious to use his feet in order to land a good kick at the other boy's soft spot. Both his "dead" arms were tied behind his back by straps of cloth he had requested from Komui, since he knew that it would be very difficult to maintain his balance if his arms were free. He might look ridiculous, but at least he wasn't tripping and toppling around like some idiotic klutz. "Stop talking and just continue with the training," he added, his voice more or less imperative. "Or are _you _the one getting tired?"

"Hmph," Allen scoffed, and resumed his battle stance. "Fine. If you really want to get beaten up that much, I'm not protesting."

Kanda narrowed his eyes and crouched down into his original battle position. For a few seconds, silence and immobility lingered between the two. Then, as if someone had just sneezed, both men abruptly pushed against the hard floor, propelling their bodies towards each other like nuclear missiles as the intent to inflict pain maliciously radiated between the two. Allen twisted his upper body and executed a flawless roundhouse kick, which was then deflected by Kanda as he stopped the attacking leg with his own, and bending his own body to improve his flexibility, he wrapped his leg around Allen's suspended one. Planning to destroy Allen's balance, Kanda twisted his whole body and applied ample force on his leg, attempting to pull Allen's entrapped leg towards a direction that wasn't at all favorable for him.

Allen wasn't oblivious of this though, and so he turned his body to the opposite direction, willing to oppose Kanda's strength. He released his other leg from the floor, catching himself with his hands before he completely fell on the floor. In the brief fraction of a second, Allen used the free foot to land a kick on Kanda's chest. The samurai foresaw this attack and released Allen's foot in order to jump away from Allen's kick. However, he wasn't going to give up. _Over my dead body, _his mind growled. As his desperation grew, he purposely made his body fall backwards, and as his back hit the floor, his legs brusquely kicked up, landing a square kick at Allen's shoulder.

The silver-haired boy gasped at the impact, and before he could recover, the merciless samurai used his legs to kick Allen's arms away, making the boy clumsily and painfully topple onto the ground. With adrenaline and fury powered muscles, Kanda managed to pin Allen to the ground in no time. "This is payback, beansprout," he hoarsely whispered, and sharply withdrew his head. Allen's eyes widened, knowing that kind of action. But before he could move his own head away, Kanda's hard forehead came clashing down against his own, sending blinding ripples of pain all throughout his body.

"GAAHH!!!" he shouted in agony, writhing in pain, and attempting to remove Kanda from his body but all in vain. Kanda was kneeling at the boy's arms – more pain – and sitting at his waist, making it impossible for him to land a decent kick. "Goddamit, what the hell was that for?!" he hollered, glaring murderously at Kanda's satisfied face.

"It's payback, beansprout," Kanda smirked, staring down at the boy with an uncompassionate expression. "For insulting me earlier. For kicking me and hitting me during those previous hours of training. And…oh," he paused and then leaned closer to Allen's face, that snide look still upon his masculine features. "Silly me. I take that back. It wasn't really payback , beansprout," he smoothly whispered, his horribly sexy voice stunning Allen who finally got over the pain and realized how near Kanda's face was. "I just felt like hurting you, that's all."

Kanda immediately withdrew his head, expecting Allen to suddenly snap at him for his latest remark. But the lack of a reaction caught his attention, and perplexed, he looked down at the younger boy, frowning in confusion at that dumbfounded look on Allen's face. And was that pink tint a _blush? _What the hell was he blushing about?

"Oi, beansprout," he urged, feeling rather awkward. "Maybe you forgot so I guess I'll remind you. This is the right time for you to be angry."

Kanda's words failed to register in Allen's shocked mind. God, he could _feel _it. He could feel it despite that barrier of cloth that separated them. Why, oh, _why, _did Kanda have to sit on his _crotch? _Of all god damn places…why there? The heat was rushing up to Allen's cheeks, and blood was flooding his face…but it was also accumulating elsewhere. The boy's eyes widened in alarm as he realized how hard he was getting _there. _Oh, god. _God of all the universe, help me! God of all the innocence, wake the fuck up and lend me a hand! Get him off! Get him off! _Allen can't risk it. If he gets a full erection, Kanda would _definitely _feel it. And only god knows what would happen after that.

_But do you really want to get him off you? _A small, taunting voice whispered from the deepest depths of his mind.

_Hell yeah! _He indignantly replied, knowing fully well what that voice was implying.

_Oooh…really now? Don't you want to get past your "kissing" stage and enter a whole new level? You're not contented with those midnight escapades and you know it. You can't deny it. You want him. You want more than just his lips. You want his—_

"Oh, shut the fuck up!" he suddenly burst out, yelling so loudly that Kanda was momentarily stunned. Allen took advantage of this situation and pushed the samurai off his body, stepping away quickly. For a few moments the two of them stared silently at each other, one of them flushed and the other one confused. This training session was turning into something more awkward than they had anticipated. "I…um…" he started, wondering how he should explain it. For the past five hours they had been training properly, and nothing as close as this had ever happened. Until now, that is.

"Whatever, beansprout," Kanda cut him off as he stood up and wiped the disoriented look from his face. "That was a really late reaction, and it sucked, but anyway," he paused, and glanced at the wall clock across him. "Time's up. Training's over. I'm going to Komui for a moment and ask him something. You go and get my dinner. Soba, with chopsticks. If you still can't use chopsticks, go get a wooden fork. I don't like a metallic taste in my food."

He was oddly looking away from Allen, his eyes transfixed only at the door. Allen felt a bit uneasy about this but he didn't mention anything. "Okay…" he mumbled, and after his reply, Kanda quickly made his way out of the room without a single "good-bye" or even an annoying remark to irritate Allen for the last time. Allen frowned slightly. What was wrong with Kanda?

A feeling of dread suddenly engulfed his body, and his eyes snapped downwards, staring at his lower regions. As he gawked at that conspicuously protruding bump between his legs, only two words escaped his mouth.

"Oh shit."

-------------------------------

Kanda kicked his door shut and jumped into his bed, burying his blushing face into the feathery regions of his pillow. He could _feel _it. He could feel his member pulsating and aching as he pressed it against the mattress. _God, _it was a good thing his erection didn't appear until he was out of the training grounds. It would be impossible for him to face Allen ever again if ever the boy sees how turned on he was because of what happened.

Kanda never expected this to happen. Never in his dreams had he imagined himself to be turned on by a _boy_. Well, _almost _never. Kanda could vaguely remembered that dream he had the previous night, where he came upon some unknown but strangely familiar boy who was oddly beautiful and attractive in his eyes. He couldn't remember the boy's distinct features. All that lingered was the feel of his lips against his.

_But I certainly didn't get an erection during that time, _his mind protested, attempting to save some of the dignity he had left. Kanda cursed silently, and buried his head into the pillow. How could he have been so careless? That moment, _that _dastardly moment, when he had felt _something _rubbing against his groin, was the moment when his self-control snapped. Kanda couldn't really deny it. He couldn't deny how seeing Allen's erection had really turned him on.

_Disgusting, _the cold part of his mind hissed. _Shut it away, Kanda. Shut it down. It's immoral. It's disgusting. It's not how a warrior should think or act. _

_Why not? _A new voice came in, this time filled with liberation. _What's so wrong about it? Weren't you just being true to yourself?_

_Shut up, _the other voice hissed. _It's wrong. You're both men. Right from the start you weren't meant to be with each other._

_How come? _The other one challenged.

The cold voice just hissed and receded back into silence, thinking of nothing else to reply.

Kanda closed his eyes and blocked out all those odd voices that kept whispering into his mind. All in all, he was bewildered by all these new sets of emotions and sensations he had never encountered in his nineteen years of living. All his life he had been training and fighting to become the warrior he wanted to be. All those years he had kept his emotions at minimum, making his strongest feelings to be only those of loyalty, honest, camaraderie and occasional kindness. Infatuation? Love? Lust? Never.

Absentmindedly he licked his lips, and from there he remembered the plans he made just this morning. _Catch the kisser. _

A sigh escaped his lips as he sat up and stood up, making his way towards the door. Komui had modified his door so that it would open with a simple kick. The samurai left his room and started walking towards the Supervisor's office, hoping that Komui was done making the gadget he had specially requested. The gadget that would be his key weapon in catching the culprit behind that luscious kiss.

-------------------------------

Dinner didn't go well.

Allen was expecting things to be back to normal after that awkward epilogue of their first training session, but alas, his hopes was devastatingly crushed.

Kanda had eaten so fast and without a single fuss or word, that the soba disappeared within minutes. Allen thought that he was just really hungry, and that they could have their usual chat afterwards, but when Kanda swallowed the last mouthful of noodles, he declared that he wanted to go to sleep early. And so, Allen had no choice but to say goodnight and exit without another word. Kanda didn't even ask for his usual massage.

_Did he notice? _Allen asked his self for the umpteenth time as he paced around his room, his movements frantic and confused. Half an hour had passed since he left Kanda, and still, he couldn't get his self to stop being restless. _Did he notice my erection? Does he think I'm some kind of pervert now, who gets turned on by being straddled by undeniably beautiful men like him? Oh god, what have I done? _

Again and again he asked his self these questions, moving back and forth from one side of his room to the other. His brows were bent into a concentrated frown, while thick drops of sweat flowed out of his spores, marking how anxious he just was. _What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? What should I—_

His chain of redundant questions was cut off when he failed to notice the chair in front of him and tripped. A small groan escaped his lips as his face collided with the floor, bruising his lips a bit, and making a part of it bleed. Automatically, his tongue licked the wound, and that was when he remembered the kiss he and Kanda shared when he was asleep. They had kissed two times already, and Allen wondered if it would ever happen a third time.

…..

Did he want it to happen again?

Yes, he did, but Allen knew that he shouldn't. It was wrong. All wrong. That logical part of his mind was right. It was immorally disgusting. This kind of lust shouldn't exist.

_I think I better get a girlfriend, _Allen sighed in exhaustion as he picked himself up and lied down on his bed, staring silently at the ceiling. _To go or not to go, _he muttered, remembering a famous line from Shakespeare. _That is the question. _"And a stupid question it is," he muttered to his self, and closed his eyes. Maybe he shouldn't go to Kanda's room tonight, despite Komui's request. That eccentric man had ordered him to keep a record of how many times Kanda's hands would move in his sleep. It was a good thing that Komui didn't request for details about what those hands _do _whenever they move. That would be a very _peculiar _set of information indeed.

_Should I go, or shouldn't I go? Should I go, or shouldn't I go? Should I go, or shouldn't I go? Should I go, or shouldn't I go? Should I go, or shouldn't I go? Should I go, or shouldn't I go? Should I go, or shouldn't I go? Should I go, or shouldn't I go? Should I go, or shouldn't I go? Should I go, or shouldn't I go? Should I go, or shouldn't I go? Should I go, or shouldn't I go? Should I go, or shouldn't I go? Should I go, or –_

"Alright, fine!" Allen stated in exasperation after full five minutes of dealing with those questions again and again. He jumped up from his bed and made his way towards his door. "I'll go there and wait until a couple of fingers twitch, and then I'll _leave. _No kissing, no kissing, no kissing, no kissing, no kissing, no kissing, no kissing, no kissing, no kissing, no kissing, no kissing, no kissing…" he continuously muttered as left his room and started walking through the corridors of the dormitory.

-------------------------------

So here he was. _Again. _

All his mantras and self-promises were for naught, since the moment his eyes caught the twitching movement of Kanda's fingers, Allen immediately drew closer to Kanda's sleeping form. He promised himself that he'd go as soon as a couple of fingers twitched, right? Unfortunately, Allen couldn't help but eagerly agree that his resolve was already weak to begin with, and it didn't hurt to kiss someone sleeping. It wasn't like he was disrupting them or anything.

Allen's eyes gazed at Kanda's face, taking in every single detail. He couldn't stare at him like this whenever Kanda was awake, so Allen took advantage of every second of this moment to memorize the various features and contours of Kanda's whole body.

_Beautiful, _he thought, no longer minding what his logical mind commented. _This is what's really annoying about him, _he tenderly thought, a small smile on his lips. _His tendency to be so perfect… A beautiful face, a breathtaking body, great fighting skills and intelligence…aside from the attitude, Kanda was PERFECT. _The flawless embodiment of a youthful Greek god. That was Kanda.

He inched closer and closer towards the bed, until he was finally leaning over Kanda's lips. As their breaths collided, Allen felt Kanda's supposedly immotile hands move once again and reach for his face. Allen closed his eyes and complied, opening his mouth to welcome Kanda's unconsciously hungry lips.

Their warm tongues met, and once again, for the third time in his life, Allen experienced a taste of heaven. He could feel Kanda's tongue eagerly and semi-roughly exploring his mouth, licking every corner and nibbling on his lower lip every now and then, as if to tease him. This action invited Allen to be more daring, and instead of leaning over, he went on the bed, kneeling over Kanda as he continued exploring the other's mouth. His cheeks were getting more and more crushed, while a completely stiff member was pushing against the thin fabric of his pants, lusting for warmth. Lusting for Kanda.

The voices of protest in his mind were drowned out by the sudden tsunami of lust and desire that engulfed his entire being. Allen wanted _more. _

Abruptly leaving Kanda's swollen lips, Allen started kissing and sucking at Kanda's jaw, deeply inhaling his distinct scent: A dominant smell of sweet evergreens. Was Kanda using aphrodisiacs as body cologne? God, his smell was driving Allen crazy. Allen continued to kiss and suck, while Kanda's hands wildly responded to his touch, grasping his hair, and pushing his head more against his skin.

Longing for the taste of his lips once again, Allen went back to Kanda's mouth and resumed the kiss they shared, this time with more passion and heat. He was so preoccupied with the kiss that he failed to notice Kanda's hands lose their previous vigor. The lips he was kissing suddenly froze and stiffened, making Allen conclude that once again, heaven was over, and it was time to go. Allen opened his eyes, expecting to see Kanda's peacefully sleeping face.

Instead, what met him was a pair of wide-eyed dark eyes, staring at him with absolute shock.

Kanda was awake.

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**A/N: And there it is! Another cliffhanger again! Don't worry! I'll probably update sooner now, since we've got only one week left of school before summer vacation starts! (in my country). XD XD XD**

**I need inspiration of course! And motivation! So don't forget your reviews, or else this story might end with this chapter. OwO**

**Hehehehe….Can you go past 110, ne~? *A*  
**

**Again, I apologize for the delay in updating. Really now, my school is the new hell. It lacks someone like Kanda in it. –sighs-**


	7. Chapter 7

**Gahhhhh!!! You people can't imagine how much I've been itching to write this chapter! Really! Every time I see a new review, my hands automatically start reaching out towards the keyboard! DX **

**But I couldn't! ;w; I just couldn't! I can't bring myself to write it yet, because of the damn tests that keep on haunting me –fuckthisshittohell- TT_____TT. Every time I open MS Word with the intention of updating this story, a tiny, bitch–er– **_**witch**_**-like voice maliciously whispers into my head, TT___TT telling me that I'll REALLY regret it if I won't study. ;w; -damn this honor-roll student complex DX-**

**However, while I'm solving those stupid Math tests, images of YULLEN love flashes across my mind. *A* In fact, I get so distracted with my daydreaming and drooling, that I lose 15 good minutes of test time. –darnit- DX But somehow, it was worth it. 8D**

**Now I'm free!! 8D XD YES! SUMMER! KANDA! ALLEN! HERE I COME! –jumps off a cliff and swims towards the beach where the Yullen couple is making out-**

**Again, I'm apologizing for Kanda's language. Really now, it's his fault this story's rating is dangerously straddling the thin line between T and M. DX**

**The italicized group of text found somewhere in the middle is a detailed account of Kanda's dream while Allen's taking advantage of his sleeping state. It wasn't Kanda's dream when he fell asleep again after catching Allen. 8D Just saying, so that no one will be confused. XD**

**MANY THANKS TO rapturousdreams (all Hail you!) FOR BETA-ING (or editing or proofreading or…whatever you call it XD) THIS CHAPTER!! YAY, LESS TYPOS AND BAD GRAMMAR! –dances-**

**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-Man D:**

**-------------------------------**

_Chapter 7_

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Have you ever heard of those extreme moments, when, due to an overflowing flash of shock, surprise, bewilderment, or horror, the whole world, no, the whole _universe_ seems to just _stop_? Did you ever experience time freezing in your very midst, or everything else fading into the background because the most important thing, the most crucial of all factors, was staring at you _face to face_? Were there ever moments in your life when the flow of air suddenly became unavailable, and as much as you wanted to, you can't command your body to start breathing again because you know that by even daring to breathe, you can shatter this supernatural moment of tranquil limbo, and release all the goddamn immigrants of Hell upon your very self?

This was what Allen Walker was going through at that precise moment.

Shell-shocked silver eyes kept an affixed stare at equally bewildered dark azure orbs, neither of them moving or even daring to release a single breath of air. A heavy silence was settling over them, drowning out the screams of their lungs as their bodies longed for air, and maliciously amplifying the fast, beating sound of their distressed hearts. Their eyes just continued staring at each other in disbelief, the older of the two seriously hoping that this was all a dream gone badly, while the other one did likewise. As their constricted pupils established a form of a "telepathic" line between one another, a single, strikingly similar thought raced across both of them minds, mercilessly snapping the threads that kept them suspended in that makeshift limbo.

_This is SO screwed up._

The moment that thought rang clearly through his mind, Allen clumsily jumped off Kanda's body, catching his foot on the blanket and ungracefully falling on the floor. The shock of the moment made the adrenaline pump wildly through his body, and he hastily picked himself up, inching away from Kanda's bed as his wide gray eyes still retained a connection with Kanda's dark orbs.

_No…_ his mind frantically stated, desperate enough to utter lies just to remain in the realm of sanity. _No…this couldn't be real…No…No…No…goddamn it, No! No! Dear god, what have I ever done to deserve this living Hell?_

Allen opened his mouth, vainly trying to say something…but then closed it again. His throat was parched and his mouth hopelessly speechless. He couldn't revive his corpse-like tongue, nor can he keep his jaw from going ajar due to his lingering horror. He should say something. Yes, Allen knew that he should explain. He should use his great, evading tactics, the ones that he used to escape all those debt collectors his Master had angered. Yes! Yes, that's what he should do! Kanda would surely believe him! Of course! If he kept his infamous poker face on, the older boy would never know that he's lying!

_No_.

No, he can't do that. There's no way he could pull that off. Kanda had always been so keen on detecting lies. In fact, he may be the only person in the whole world who could tell that he was lying, when everyone else thought that he was telling the truth. And besides…

His conscience couldn't take it. He'd probably lose face before he could even finish half of the lie.

Now, he's stuck with two options. Either he stays and faces the wrath of God/Kanda, which would probably be more intense than the time that old geezer had decided to "wash" the world with a neat ol' flood, or he _runs away_ and tries to preserve the remaining years of his short life.

The latter seemed to be the best choice, and Allen would really love to get moving right now, that is, if his damn legs would _move_ at all. The poor boy couldn't believe this…why did his legs decide to shut down _now_? Of all freakin' times, why _now_?

"Beansprout."

And that was it. The moment Allen heard Kanda's voice, a jolt of electricity revived his legs, and in a speed that would have shamed light, Allen was out of the room. He ran, and he ran, and he ran. He ran so fast, he would have shamed the Gingerbread man. Allen ran with his abused legs, having no intention of stopping until he was at least a continent away from Kanda. And as he ran, a series of profanities and other obscenities raced across his mind, words so foul it would make Kanda look like a real gentleman. Oh god, if only Cross could hear him swear, all this suffering would end. Quickly. That poor excuse of a General _hated_ hearing him swear. A mere "shit" from his mouth, and he gets abusive sex from Cross' handy-dandy hammer.

As Allen ran, a queer form of faith towards his pathetic sense of direction was ominously revived. He really needed to get lost right now.

---------------------------

Kanda stared at the empty space that had once been Allen, his eyes still wide as he failed to grasp the meaning of what had just happened a few minutes ago. _What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck…_ And again, this uncensored mantra repeated itself all over his mind, a default reaction that appears whenever he couldn't get his brain working. Kanda remained rigid as he sat up, wincing slightly as he felt something _wet_ trickle down from his jaw. At first he presumed it to be mere sweat, but when it turned out to be too sticky and foreign; Kanda's worst fears were recognized.

"Oh, holy shit," he hissed, hastily standing up and fumbling over his shoes.

He never expected this to happen. No, there was _never_ a time in his eighteen years of living, when he was trapped in a situation like this; no, _never_ in something so disgusting, so distressing, so horrifying, and at the same time so maddening. No. Never. _Nada_. Zero.

"What, the fucking shit, am I supposed to do now?" he growled in bewilderment, mercilessly kicking his chair, and his desk, and his closet, and his bed. The furniture protested with their snaps and creaks, but Kanda didn't give a damn about them. He was too confused; _too_ confused that it was becoming damn unhealthy for him and for his mental stability. He couldn't remove that image from his mind; that fucking image that was maliciously giving him an unbelievable boner right now.

Ugh, disgusting. Kanda was disgusted with himself. And he was angry. Hell, he was _infuriated_ to the thousandth degree. But he wasn't angry at the beansprout. He was more angered by his lack of self-control. Fuck! He couldn't even stop his body from reacting all immorally just because he kept remembering how Allen had looked like when he was straddling his waist and that small drop of saliva that was oh-so-lusciously trickling down his swollen lips. Lips that were kissing—

"Arrggghhhh, fucking mother fucker!" he hollered as he felt his sanity slipping away, with spitefully delectable images of a damn beansprout stampeding all over his mind. "Shit, I can't believe this." So it was Allen all along. He was the one who left that foreign taste in his lips; that taste that he couldn't help but lust for. No wonder, it was Allen who noticed that Kanda's hands moved when he was asleep!

If only Kanda could clench his hands, he would be doing so right now. Not to mention his plan to punch the living daylights out of Komui for making such a horrid contraption. Kanda shot that small wristwatch-like gadget on his wrist a dirty look. It was a device of some sort that had a motion detector in it. If it detected any "extreme" or "passionate" form of movement from his hands, it'll be sending volts of electricity towards Kanda's brain. This of course, would definitely wake him up, and _catch the kisser_.

Right now, Kanda wished that he had never done so in the first place.

"What the hell is with that damn twerp?" he continued hissing, probably thinking that cobras were cool. He really itched to wipe that conspicuously dripping drop of saliva from his neck; but unfortunately, he wasn't properly equipped at the moment. Another stream of profanities escaped his mouth as he kicked the chair in frustration. What the fucking shit did he do to deserve this ridiculously damning situation? What? Was the Almighty planning to make a new hell, and Kanda's one of his test subjects? Screw that. He could have chosen that blubbering idiot who kept calling him his "son," or that crazy scientist with the sister-complex. Not to mention that annoying one-eyed rabbit too.

He released an anguished sigh as he sat down on his bed, his legs screaming painfully in protest. His head was throbbing. It was one o'clock in the morning for heaven's sake. There was no way he could think clearly with his brain half-snoring. He could still remember it, that pleasurable feeling on his lips, and how it had spread down to his jaw and neck. It was a sensation that intermingled with his fantasies, a dream that he lavished, as much as loathed; a dream that he finally remembered, in greater detail than he had wanted.

-----------------------------

_And here he was again, in the strange forest that held a peculiar yet startlingly comforting atmosphere. Everything was in place with the ground and roots carpeted by a pure blanket of bright green moss. Vines hung about the thick branches of oaks, cedars, firs, maples, and various other trees that he could not identify (he didn't study freaking Biology). The sky was as clear as ever, void of any thick clouds that might block out the benevolent sun. Streams of broken sunlight stubbornly pierced through the thick roof of leaves covering the forest, shedding enough light to avoid tripping over capricious roots and rocks. A few flowers grew here and there, bushes of dandelions and daisies scattered within the vegetation. Ripe berries were available too, but despite how delicious they looked, Kanda wasn't hungry enough to pluck food from a foreign place._

_Not far from there came the sound of rushing water. Kanda then remembered the beautiful boy he found by the stream, or river, or what the hell that body of water was. Despite the protests of his logical mind, Kanda started running towards the direction of the water, feeling a strange kind of desperation to see the boy again. He still couldn't figure out who he was, though he knew that he knew the boy, Kanda just couldn't remember his name._

_The sound of the stream became louder, and after a few more minutes of running, Kanda found his way out of the thick grove of trees and in front of a peacefully flowing stream. He didn't pay attention to the beautiful crystalline water, however. He kept his eyes alert and attentive as he looked around; hoping to find that same bundle of distinct silver-white hair, which always seemed to sparkle so alluringly under the sun._

_But he couldn't find him._

_No, he wasn't there. His eyes stared at the same boulder where he had first spotted the sleeping boy, but he was no longer there. Kanda's frown deepened, not in annoyance, but in unnatural anxiety._

_Where was he?_

_Kanda started to run along the stream, his dark eyes frantic as they grazed over every single square meter of that place, hoping to glimpse at those pure ivory locks that were whiter than snow. The samurai could feel his heart beating wildly as his anxiety grew, and he could feel his muscles tensing in distress. His bare feet were scratched up by all the sharp pebbles he came upon, but the pain could not register into his mind. A part of his soul was pushing him, urging him to continue running, to continue searching for that someone who suddenly became precious to him, for reasons he didn't know. All Kanda knew was that he had to find the nameless boy._

_He ran, and he ran, leaving a trail of bloody footprints, as his foot sores grew worse. Gritting his teeth as the pain started to gnaw at him, hindering his ability to run properly. Should he stop? His logical mind eagerly agreed, but his heart protested. _No_, a voice within his soul whispered, with a striking vindication that was unbelievable even to him. _Don't stop. Don't ever stop. What was that darn beansprout always saying? Oh, yeah. Keep walking. Keep moving forward.

"_How'd that twerp get involved in this?" he grunted in annoyance, feeling pissed off by the mere mention of that retarded beansprout. Strangely, however, he couldn't remember what Allen looked like. He couldn't even remember who Lavi really was, or who Lenalee's older brother was. It was as if his angst was eating away his mind, dissolving all the unimportant things, and keeping that unnamed boy the only focus of his thoughts. Where could he have gone?_

_A drop of sweat trickled down his jaw, and Kanda hastily wiped it off as he continued his search. He had no idea what time it was, or if time really mattered in that place, but the fact that the sun wasn't getting any friendly told him that it might have been a little past noon. Dark eyes glanced that the tempting coolness of the flowing stream, and he was so tempted to just jump in and forget about all his anxieties._

_But of course he couldn't. There were other things more important to him than a mere bath._

"_C'mon, where the hell are you?" he growled, hissing a bit as his wounded leg hit another sharp stone_. That boy couldn't have gone too far… There's nowhere to go_. Kanda would be damned if he discovers that the boy had decided to venture away from the stream. The forest encasing them was huge, and there's no telling where the boy could be. Kanda's only hope was that the boy was still somewhere near the stream._

_Ten more minutes passed, and Kanda was getting exhausted. A semi-permanent grimace was already set on his face, manifesting all the pain his abused feet were experiencing. _Where, in god's hell, was that boy? Can't he just stay put and sleep like before? Kissing would definitely _not_ be enough this time_, Kanda thought, obviously oblivious of the fact that his thoughts were _definitely_ strange. _Where are you, where are you, where are you, where are you, where are you, where are you, where are you, where are you, where are you, where are you, where are you, where are you, where are you_, his mind chanted. Tsk, he's been doing that a lot lately. Making useless mantras that sounded stupid even to him._

_Breathing a bit laboriously, Kanda sighed as he reached the origin of the stream: a small waterfall_. I guess washing up a bit wouldn't be too bad after all_, he thought, reveling on the feeling of cool water against his scratched up skin. A small sigh of temporary relief escaped his lips as he placed himself beneath the waterfall, taking an impromptu shower._

_Kanda closed his eyes and allowed some of his stress to be washed away. The feeling of the cool fluid flowing down his flustered body was heavenly, and for the tiniest fraction of a second, he felt like abandoning his mission. But the mere thought was immediately banished from his mind, and his eyes shot open, settling into his usual frown_. No, I can't stop. I have to keep walking. I have to find him.

_A rustling noise caught his attention. Kanda's head snapped towards the small bush of fat, delicious berries that suddenly started to move. Without the tiniest hint of hesitation, Kanda jumped out of the water and ran towards the bushes, every fiber of his being screaming that this was it. This was what he'd been looking for. The possibility that it might have been some sort of wild animal didn't even cross his mind. Kanda was already sure, even before he saw those soft, silver-white locks. His heart already knew._

"_You," he managed to whisper, as he stared at that same beautiful boy, lips surprisingly redder than usual because of the berries he had eaten. Kanda couldn't help but roll his eyes in exasperation. _So this person went away just to eat freakin' berries? Huh. It's so funny; I can't help but not laugh_. Kanda knelt down in front of the boy, leaning towards that cherubic face, which clearly revealed the element of surprise. The boy didn't move away, nor did he say anything. He didn't even try to pull away when Kanda's breath grazed over his berry-stained lips. Kanda smirked softly, finding this submissiveness cute. His hand gently held the chin of the younger boy and without further ceremony, their lips met in a tongue-filled adventure._

_Kissing had never been his forte, but Kanda wanted to try. His lips clumsily and immaturely explored the younger boy's mouth, getting the sharply sweet taste of those berries the boy had been eating a while ago. The boy participated actively, searching Kanda's mouth as ineptly as Kanda was, with a seductive form of enthusiasm that turned Kanda on. The unnamed boy was vigorously exploring his upper body with those small, pale hands, while Kanda's own fingers were passionately interlocked with the boy's snow-white hair. Their kiss evolved from exploring to conquering. Tongues on a fierce battle for dominance, Kanda couldn't help but release a low moan of pleasure as the other boy's tongue grazed over every single sensitive spot in his mouth. A gasp came out of his lips as the boy decided to become more daring and left Kanda's mouth in order to pursue his jaw and neck._

_Kanda's body was literally shuddering in all the spasms of pleasure invading it. His eyes remained closed, desperate to feel the boy's pleasurable antics against his skin. In his lust for more, he couldn't help but push the boy harder against his neck, wanting more of that feeling._

_A small growl of protest came out of his mouth when the boy decided to leave his neck, but it was soon muffled by his own moans after their mouths had decided to resume their passionately luscious war._

"_Name," he groaned, when his lips were freed for a moment. "Give me your name."_

_The boy smiled and opened his mouth to reply. But before Kanda could hear it, everything started dissolving into a chaotic whirlpool around him. Horrified at the possibility of losing the boy again, Kanda desperately tried to hold on to that frail body, but alas, the force pulling him away was too strong for him to outdo. A mortified shout escaped his mouth as he saw the boy slowly dissolving away too, along with their surroundings._

"_No!"_

--------------------------------

And so, at that fateful moment, Kanda's eyes flashed open into reality, staring straight at the same gray eyes he had seen only seconds ago. As he continued staring, wondering if he was still in his dream, a voice echoed through his mind, carrying the name of the boy in his dreams.

_Allen_.

The sound of the chair finally being broken down into multiple pieces resonated all through out his room, as Kanda gave it one last brutal kick. He can't get back to sleep, his room was a mess, his mind was in a bigger mess, and this foreign burning feeling that uncomfortably twisted in his chest was driving him crazy. _Damn it, where was the Earl when you needed him? That fat-ass really has bad timing._

His eyes snapped towards the direction of his enchanted lotus, scowling at it with newly found vehemence. Why can't that damn thing just hurry up and wilt already? Kanda has half the mind to commit seppuku* right now. The thought of slicing his stomach open and letting his guts out wasn't actually comforting, but it was better than to remain alive.

He can't live with this. Not with this kind of immoral thing.

_But what can you do?_ That small voice in his mind whispered again. _You want him, don't you? You want him for yourself, and only for yourself._

_Shut. The. Fuck. Up,_ he hissed in reply, losing his patience with that other voice in his head. Oh god, he was having voices in his head? Shit. This was a sure sign of his deteriorating mental health.

_You can't deny it forever, Yu_, the voice whispered, with a creepy tone that blatantly stated "I know I'm right, and soon enough you'll know to."

_Don't call me that!_ He inwardly growled. _We're not fucking close and – well, we're not "close" in the emotional way since literally speaking you're part of my goddamn mind so we are close but –_

"Oh, screw this!" he snapped, as he hit his head on the wall multiple times. "Why, the fuck am I talking to myself?! I'm going crazy, and it's all because of that imbecile!"

Of course, Kanda couldn't possibly blame his self. _No_, he just couldn't think that it's his fault he's having these steamy dreams about Allen. _No_, it's definitely _not_ his fault that he's been **eagerly** licking his own lips every now and then just to savor the lingering taste of Allen's lips. Nope. Zero. It's definitely _not_ his fault.

His head was throbbing so much. "Can I pass out now?" he hissed at an unseen god, and after hitting his head one last time, Kanda's prayers was answered. As the darkness crawled over his vision, he momentarily wondered where the hell that beansprout ran off to and if he had jumped off a cliff or something.

"One less idiot in the world," he muttered, a smirk playing on his lips. But at the back of his mind he truly wondered if the boy was all right. It wasn't worth denying it any longer.

Kanda liked Allen.

-------------------------------

**A/N: Finally! I totally loved the steamy kissing scene part –is visualizing it right now-**

**Oh well! School's over for me, so I'll be updating faster than before. Although, I have, other stories to update too, not to mention RPG sites to maintain and etc. I'm planning to take piano lessons this summer, and I am seriously going to learn how to play the Musician's piece (the one Allen was playing) –drools- that song has a really beautiful melody. And it was the song that brought Kanda back to life so YEY!! **

**The other chapters would have more Lavi and Tyki in them, though I plan to make Tyki a whole bastard in this fic, so sorry for all the Tyki fans out there. And when I say Lavi and Tyki, I didn't mean that there'll be a LUCKY pairing in here. :P It's pure YULLEN, my dearies. **

**And wheee~ I found a wooden katana in my room! ****X3 I plan to paint it to make it look like Mugen –goes off to buy paint- Though my cousin owns a REAL katana. And when I say REAL, I mean REAL. It's got some dried red stuff on the tip of the blade though. O__O I don't think I want to know what it is and where it came from. O_O;;**

**Review, please! This is, like, my very first YULLEN and –gasps- my very first…y-y-yaoi fanfic? ___ So please review! 140~  
**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: WHAT THE HELL IS WITH THIS WRITER'S BLOCK???**

**That's all I can say. D:**

**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-Man D:**

-----------------------------

Chapter 8

-----------------------------

"_Ne, Mana?"_

"_Yes, Allen?"_

"_What is 'love'?"_

"_Oho, why this question all of a sudden? Did you find your special someone already?"_

"_Huh? What are you talking about?"_

"_Hahaha, Allen, Allen. Love is something that cannot be explained. The only way to understand it is to experience it."_

"_Experience it how? How will I know when I'm in love?"_

"_Hmmm…well, to put it simply, love gives you a really warm, pleasant feeling in your heart. It's a warm feeling you would want to protect with all your might, even if the world is against it."_

"_Huh?"_

"_You're too young, Allen. Someday, in the future, you'll find your special person, and then you'll understand."_

"…"

"_Allen? Are you alright?"_

"_Yes…but… Mana, how will I know if someone is my special person?"_

"_When that person makes you do things you never imagined you would be doing, just for the sake of love. When you feel that you're ready to die for that person's safety, that's love. When you feel that you are capable of fighting the whole world for that person's sake, that's love. No rules, religion, culture, or beliefs can keep both of you away. All that matters to you is that special person and nothing else."_

"_But… isn't breaking rules bad? Won't God be angry?"_

"_There is nothing wrong with loving, Allen. Remember that. Love appears in many forms, and not just in the standards humanity had created for it. God won't be angry at you for following his greatest commandment; to love."_

"_But Mana, I already love you. Wouldn't that make you my special person?"_

"_Allen, the love we feel for each other is a different kind of love. Like I said before, love exists in many forms. Not all the love you feel for other people is the same as you feel for me. We're family. That's where our love comes from. But there is a form of love that can surpass even the love that we feel for each other; a form of love that can outshine all the others. That kind of love would be the one for your special person."_

"…_eh?"_

"_Listen, Allen. It's too early for you to understand. You don't need to think too hard about it right now. All of it would come in the future. Okay? By the way, are you hungry?"_

"_Is that supposed to be a question?"_

-----------------------------

"Tyki!"

Lord Tyki Mikk uttered a silent curse as his precious card pyramid – one he worked on for _hours_ – toppled down into a messy stack on the coffee table. Annoyed golden irises sharply turned towards an innocently grinning spiky-haired girl. "What is it, Road?" he asked, teeth gritted in exasperation as he collected his cards and started reconstructing his paper pyramid.

"I heard from the Earl that you didn't kill that samurai bitch," Road chirped, the rough words incredulously came out of her mouth in melodic octaves. "So why'd ya not kill him?"

"…bitch? Wasn't that samurai a guy?" Tyki blinked and feigned ignorance. He really didn't want to talk to Road right now.

The girl sarcastically rolled her similarly golden irises. "Yes, he's a guy, but his hair just makes him look so much like a fucking bitch."

"Stop talking like that," Tyki sighed, slightly irked by the fact that such a cute-faced girl would have such a rough mouth. "It's not…nice."

"When I want to say _fucking bitch_ I'll say _fucking bitch_ because _fucking bitch_ is the right way to describe that she-male _fucking bitch_ who killed Skin, and acting nice would make _me_ seem like a hypocritical _fucking bitch_ so I don't want to stop saying _fucking bitch_ 'cuz it's cool to say it an' all," she sweetly replied, a hearty cackle following her speech. Tyki's mouth twitched into a disgusted scowl and decided to ignore Road's rants.

"Ne~ don't get off topic, Tyki," Road pouted and sat on Tyki's lap – much to his annoyance – and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I just want to know. It isn't like you to get merciful, especially towards someone like that samurai dickhead."

Tyki raised an eyebrow at Road's earlier statement. "Merciful?" he replied, an incredulous tone in his voice. "That isn't exactly the best word to describe what I did to that wimp." He paused as a wide, malicious smirk appeared on his face. It might be possible that his aura had morphed into something sinister too, since Road can't help but slightly move away. "No, I think 'horrible' or 'demonic' would have been a better term. Really now, Road, do you think I'd let one of the exorcists that I hate the most _die_ so simply? Puh-lease, I'm not _that_ merciful."

At this point, Road's mouth twisted into an equally malicious smile. "So…what did you do to him? Did you plant one of your Tease in his heart too? Did you shave his hair and made him permanently bald? Did you cut off his penis and—"

"No, I didn't do any of those," Tyki snapped and frowned as he felt annoyed over Road's suggestions. Really now, did she think that he was _that_ shallow? They've been living with each other for years…surely she thought of him higher than that?

Road's face turned from amusement to confusion. Her perplexed expression pissed Tyki off all the more. So she _did_ think that he could not be capable of something crueler. "So, if it's none of those, what did you do, Tyki?"

"I severed his brain's contact with his arms of course," Tyki blatantly stated, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "A samurai without the hands to grasp his most beloved sword…" he paused and licked his lips as his eyes took on that same sinister look once more. He looked down at Road, a manic look on his golden irises "Beautiful, isn't it?"

For a moment, Road just stared at him with her mouth gaping open. Just as Tyki was about to presume that the girl was struck speechless by his awesomeness, loud fits of laughter suddenly erupted from the spiky-haired Noah.

"That is so fuckin' _lame_, Tyki!" she shrieked and laughed wildly as she rolled around the carpeted floor. A deep scowl appeared on Tyki's face as he glared at his little cousin, not at all amused by her expression. Sheesh, didn't she even consider how hard that was? Targeting something so specific in a part of the body as complicated as the brain…really now, Tyki wasn't a freaking doctor for heaven's sake. He should be branded a genius by being able to do such a thing. But _no_. No one appreciated his awesomeness.

"You should have cut his arms off instead," Road commented, the laughter stopping. "That way it would have been more painful. I would pay a million bucks just to hear that jackass scream in pain," she added as she maliciously licked her lips. Tyki sighed and rolled his eyes. "That's the problem with you, Road. Everything you do is _too_ simple, that even if it's severe, it's easy to fix. Think about it. If I had cut off his arms, the Order would be advanced enough in their technology to give him new arms that he could still use. But if I 'killed' his arms, he'd have to live with it everyday, staring at his impotent arms that can no longer hold his beloved sword. Imagine how much that thing is killing him."

Tyki looked back at Road, hoping to see a look of approval or awe, but then the Noah of Dreams merely snorted, unimpressed. "Hmph," she replied. "But then, he can have it cut off too, and the Order would surely use anesthesia for that. And that's _not_ fun," she whined, crossing her hands over her chest.

An exasperated sigh came out of Tyki's mouth. "Come on, Road. Aren't you supposed to be the shrewd one here? You're the Noah of Dreams for heaven's sake. You should know all about psychologically destroying humans," Tyki retorted. "Physical pain is easily forgotten, what stays longer is the pain they feel within," he drawled as he felt a little uncomfortable since what he was saying was so cheesy. "Don't you understand? Instead of cutting his arms off and giving him no choice but to deal with the Order's technology, I'm giving him a _choice_. A hellish choice on whether or not to let go of the part of his body he treasures more than his head. It'll drive him insane, I assure you."

"But still," Road pouted in disappointment, crossing her arms over her chest. "I'd rather hear real screams than wait for his sanity to disintegrate in silence. It's too boring."

"Whatever," Tyki snapped and rolled his golden eyes. "I don't care if it bores you. I don't find it boring at all. Even if you're the eldest, Road, you can't stay old-fashioned. We're no longer in the era where iron maidens, bladed pendulums, and torture chambers are in fashion. Think modern."

"Hmph," Road huffed indignantly and started stomping out of the room. "I'm off to see the Earl. At least he's not as boring as _you_." Tyki just sighed as Road stuck her tongue out at him before slamming the door. "Honestly," the brunette groaned. "This place is driving me crazy."

-------------------------------

_Uhhhhhh…..Ohhh-kay….where the hell am I??_

Allen's footsteps eerily echoed against the dark walls and made the place a lot more uncomfortable for the young exorcist. He didn't know this part of the place yet – they had just moved in a couple of weeks ago – and so he had no idea how to get back to his room. _Well, at least I'm probably far away from Kanda now_, he thought at first, but after an hour of running nonstop, his stomach decided to start a new language composed of loud growls and rumbling noises.

He could live without clothes. He could live without his Innocence. Hell, he could live without Kanda. But damn, he can't live without food; and not _just_ food. It should be a _mountain of food_ made out of steak, roasted beef, lamb chops, curry, mashed potatoes, pasta, and many more of his favorites. There should be a matching hill of ice cream as well, filled with vanilla, cookies and cream, rocky road, strawberry, and many, many more. As these thoughts filled Allen's mind, his mouth literally started brimming with drool, while his stomach released a howl of hunger.

Allen walked on with a desolate expression on his face as a hand pathetically cradled his noisy stomach. He was desperately praying to all the saints he knew, that maybe, by some miraculous play of fate, he'd soon end up in the kitchen.

But the boy knew that he was far, far away from the kitchen. He _knew_ because he dutifully memorized all the possible routes to the cafeteria. And this dark, creepy corridor was definitely not one of the paths he knew.

_Okay, Allen. Breathe in. Breathe out. Think. Think. If you can't find a way…make a way!_

Allen smacked his forehead as he felt really tempted to slap himself over and over again because of his outright stupidity. _Of course! Why didn't I think of it eons ago?_ A wide grin appeared on Allen's face as he closed his eyes and concentrated. The lyrics of that mysterious song once again floated into his mind.

_And then the boy falls asleep_

_The flame inside the breathing ashes…One, then two_

_Rise up and expand into that beloved face_

_Thousands of dreams, dreams that pour onto the earth_

Allen could feel that weird feeling rushing through his body once again. It was a feeling he disliked, but because he used it often, he was no longer bothered by it. He himself couldn't properly explain that feeling. He felt power rushing out of him… but somehow, it wasn't his. It was as if there was something…someone…inside him, and that was the source of the power.

_On the night when those silver eyes trembled, you were born, shining brightly_

_Millions of years_

_No matter how many prayers are returned to the earth_

_I shall continue praying_

_Please, give this child love, joined hands, and a kiss._

Finally he could feel the gate opening in that area. Haha, Komui would probably scold him again for using his Noah powers so frivolously. Oh well. He'll deal with that later. The top priority was to get to the dining hall.

He stepped into the white portal and found himself once again in the all-too-familiar whitewashed city of the Ark. Allen started walking around as he tried to remember if he somewhat created a gate in the dining hall. If not, he'll just have to find that door that led to the entrance hall of the building. From there, he'll surely get to the dining hall soon. Allen fervently hoped that Jerry would still be awake even if it were almost midnight.

Now that his anxiety about getting lost was depleting, Allen's mind wandered back to the events that occurred earlier that evening. A fierce blush rose into his face as he recalled those sharp, midnight blue eyes that stared at him, so intense with shock and bewilderment. What was Kanda doing right now? Was he hunting him down? Was he going to report to Komui and accuse him of sexual harassment? Was he going to tell everyone that Allen was gay? Was he sleeping or was he still awake?

These questions exploded and salvaged every corner of Allen's mind, the way a fierce tempest would ponder and pillage the sails of a ship. He was feeling dizzy just by thinking about it. _Kanda_, he thought. _I wonder if he hates me now_. Long ago, Allen wouldn't have cared if Kanda hated him. He didn't like Kanda before anyway. But now… now it was sort of…different. Allen couldn't understand. He just…just found himself liking how they always bickered and argued about all the tiniest things. Somehow…their arguments became a way of them understanding each other better. Through their fights Allen found out more about how Kanda did things, his thoughts, principles, and beliefs. Not being able to argue with Kanda or even release one word of profanity towards the other for one whole day is awkward. One could even call it weird or unnatural. Anyway, for Allen, his day wouldn't be complete without the involvement of a grumpy exorcist.

Why was that anyway? Why do things feel wrong whenever he doesn't get the chance to talk or even think of Kanda in one day? Why was he suddenly willing to break the rules, to defy all forms of morality, just to get a taste of that sweet forbidden fruit?

"_When that person makes you do things you never imagined you would be doing, just for the sake of love. When you feel that you're ready to die for that person's safety, that's love. When you feel that you are capable of fighting the whole world for that person's sake, that's love. No rules, religion, culture, or beliefs can keep both of you away. All that matters to you is that special person and nothing else."_

"No way, Mana," he said out loud. "It couldn't be Kanda. I'm sure of it. This is just one of those awkward teenage phases….where…er…uhm…I think it was something about a sudden increase in one's sex drive or something…damn, I can't remember what Master said." _Well, how the hell would I remember what he said? He was in bed naked with another sleeping woman who was also naked. As if that in itself wasn't enough, they had to be positioned in a really, really __disturbing__ way_.

Allen shuddered and shook his head violently, desperately pushing the dark thoughts away from his mind. That dreadful scenario had been the shattering point of his childhood innocence, and from then on he had never been the same. After that, every time his Master and a woman would enter a room, he would know what they would be doing there. And just imagining it made him nauseous.

"Like I said," Allen continued, talking to an imaginary Mana. "It's impossible for it to be Kanda. Really. I researched on love you know," he continued and frowning as he tried to remember what he researched. "Apparently it exists in three forms: eros, philos, and agape. Eros is the romantic love, where all you-know takes place," he explained to no one. "Philos is the love found in family and friendship. That's what we have. That's what I have with the others," he added. "And lastly is agape; the love that consumes. It's said to be the most powerful among all forms of love. I don't think I'll be experiencing that soon. I don't even think I'll experience it _ever_."

He then crossed his arms over his chest defiantly. "So, I hereby conclude that Kanda is _not_ my special person. It's just this stupid teenage lust that makes me go crazy whenever I see him. You can't blame me, you know. There are hardly any girls in here, and one lewd look at Lenalee would get me killed via Komui. Kanda's the nearest thing to a girl (_What did master call him? Oh. A she-male bastard_.) so I've got no choice. You can't accuse me of being gay," he scowled. "I'm telling you. This is _just_ a phase…just a phase. I'll get over him, I promise. I'll meet a pretty girl somewhere who's _way_ nicer than Kanda. Then we'll get married and have pretty little children. If ever I get a son, I'll name him after you. So don't get angry at me, okay?"

A minute passed and no one answered. Well, _duh_.

Allen just sighed and shook his head in surrender. That's it. He was going crazy. Voices in his head? Not good. Kissing Kanda in his sleep? Bad. Talking to an imaginary Mana? Really, _bad_. It's time for him to hit the rubber room.

Fortunately, before Allen was convinced that he was no longer in the realm of the sane, his stomach released a loud, commanding growl that pulled him back together. "Oh, right," he mused and chuckled sheepishly. "Thanks," he said as he pat his stomach. "Almost lost myself there. You're right, Mr. Stomach. Food comes before anything else." His stomach released a lower, more sublime growl, which he took as an agreement. He stopped in front of the door that read "Headquarters. Entrance Hall" and opened the door.

"Ittadakimasu!"

------------------------------------

"_Oi, old man, what the hell is Marie babbling about?"_

"_Marie? Why, what's he saying, Yu-kun?"_

"_Don't call me that! Anyway, he's talking about how he's in love with this girl in the ice cream parlor and he just can't stop talking about the damn bitch! What the hell is wrong with him, old man? What the fuck is this 'love' thing?"_

"_Yu-kun, before I answer your question, kindly put a stop to all your profanities while talking to me. It's not nice."_

"_The hell I care. So? What is it? This thing called love?"_

"_You're pretty interested about such a mature thing, Yu-kun. That's nice."_

"_I'm a freaking kid, Tiedoll! Ten years old! Of course I'm curious! And no, I just want to know about love so that I'll know how to avoid it. I don't want to end up as stupid-looking as Marie."_

"_Now, now, Yu-kun. Don't be like that. Your brother is just on those early stages of his teenage love where he's impulsively attracted to others."_

"_I'll be what I want to be, old man! Now just answer the damn question! What the hell is love?!"_

"_-sigh- Impatient as always. Okay then, I'll explain. Listen carefully and remember."_

"_Hmph."_

"_Love is something very unpredictable. You can never know when or where it will appear. You can't even detect it immediately, even if it was waving a hand right at your face. There's no way you'll understand what love is until you experience it."_

"_Why's that?"_

"_Well, think of it like this, Yu-kun. Would someone who was never cut by a sword know the pain it causes?"_

"_No."_

"_It's the same thing with love. You wouldn't know what love is until you experience it yourself."_

"_But there's got to be a clue about its presence or something! Don't be stingy with information, old man! I want to know everything! How would love generally feel? Even when a sword never cut someone, they can have a vague idea of the pain if someone, who's been cut, would tell them about it. So tell me, old man!"_

"_You're cute when you're that persistent, Yu-kun."_

"_Shut up about nonsense and just give me the damn description!"_

"_Okay, okay. Love is a sort of warm feeling."_

"_Warm feeling? Like the warmth of tea or something?"_

"_No, it's not physical. I say it's warm because it's pleasant. Love gives you a sense of internal peace, as if nothing is ever going to go wrong. When you're in love, you feel free and strong. You believe that you can do anything, no matter how impossible, just for the sake of the person you love. You're ready to stop the tide, to move moon, to capture the stars and to defy gravity, just for the sake of your special person. You're ready to break the rules, disobey your own culture, traditions, and religion just for the happiness of the person you love. You become selfless, and you are ready to sacrifice even your life. Isn't love wonderful, Yu-kun?"_

"_Che. That's just stupid. Who'd want to do all that for a single person?"_

"_Haha. You scoff at it now, Yu-kun. But once you fall in love, you won't be able to say that."_

"_Whatever, old man. I knew it would be a bad idea to ask you about love in the first place. And you reek of paint, sheesh. Take a goddamn bath once in a while."_

"_There's nothing wrong with the smell of paint, Yu-kun. And call me 'Papa'."_

"_Do the world a favor and just die."_

------------------------------------

"Ah, Lavi. Can you do me a favor?"

The red-haired exorcist turned towards the Chinese girl, raising a questioning eyebrow at the porcelain vase filled with white lilies in her hands. "Yeah, Lenalee? What can I do for you?"

"Here," she replied, handing him the vase. "Kanda broke the porcelain vase I bought for him a few days ago. I thought I'd give him a new one to brighten up his room a bit. I heard he's still moody about his arms and all."

"Oh. Sure, I'll give it to him, Lenalee! Leave it to me! But you know, to tell you the truth, when I saw those flowers I thought you were planning to put them on Allen's grave," Lavi mused and chuckled as he took the flowers. "I know that Allen's strong, but to babysit _Kanda_? I don't think even the Noah are strong enough to endure that."

"Don't say that, Lavi! I'm sure those two are getting along…just fine. I even heard that Allen is doing all that he could to train Kanda with leg techniques. He even sacrificed his lunch time once!" Lenalee argued, though having her own doubts.

Lavi easily saw her uncertainty and just grinned. "Okay, okay. I believe you, Lenalee. But in case I'm right, let's buy flowers together okay? I'm sure Allen would like flowers on his grave. What do you think are his favorite flowers? Ah! Maybe he'd rather have food instead of flowers. But that'll be a pain. He likes too many kinds of food."

"Lavi!" Lenalee scolded.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm going," Lavi replied, still grinning. "But think about it, okay? At least we'll get to offer flowers before the Order cremates him." The young bookman was smart enough to run away quickly before Lenalee completely lost her patience.

He finally arrived in front of Kanda's room and loudly knocked. "Ne, Yu~ I'm here to give you a present from Lenalee~ Open up!" The one-eyed boy cautiously stepped away from the door in case the samurai decides to suddenly kick it open. "Yu~ Yu~ Open up! Yu~!!" He continued calling on, but still there was no reply. "Yu? You're not doing anything weird with Allen in there, are you?" He added, frowning at the delay. Kanda hated hearing Lavi use his first name. He should have reacted by now. "Uh, Yu? Yu? You still alive there? Yu? Allen, you in there? Allen?"

The redhead glanced at his wristwatch. It was five hours past midnight. Yu usually rises at four in the morning. Why the hell was he one hour delayed? _I have a bad feeling about this_, he thought, and decided to do something he knew he would regret. "I'm coming in, Yu!" he shouted and kicked the door open.

"Uh-oh."

Kanda was unconscious on his bed, almost half of his pillow colored red because of the blood that seeped out of a wound on his head. "Oi! Yu! Yu!" Lavi exclaimed in alarm and ran towards his friend. "Get a grip, Yu! Oi! Oi!"

"What's the matter, sir Exorcist?" a voice asked and Lavi turned to see a finder peeking through the open the door. "Get me medical staff and a stretcher! An exorcist is wounded, got it? Hurry!!"

The finder looked shocked for a moment before he pulled himself together and rushed through the corridors. Lavi took off his band and placed it around Kanda's head as he applied pressure on the wound to stop the bleeding. _What the hell happened to you?_ he wondered, and then saw a red stain on the stonewall. _So that's what happened_, he contemplated as his lips turned to a frown. However, he couldn't tell whether this was self-inflicted or the work of someone else. Noah? No, they couldn't possibly have infiltrated the new headquarters. Was it someone from Central? No, it's unlikely. Sure, Leverrier had been sort of pissed off with Kanda's brazen personality, but even he wouldn't stoop so low as to attack an already wounded warrior. So, if it's now self-inflicted, then why do it?

His sharp eyes caught Kanda's mouth move, with no sound coming out. Immediately, Lavi's eyes widened. He couldn't have been mistaken. As a bookman, one of their skills was to lip-read easily. There's no way he would misinterpret the movement of Kanda's lips.

Only one word came out. In fact, it wasn't a word. It was a _name_.

Allen_._

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**A/N: I'm sorry for the delay. D8 Writer's block suddenly came out of nowhere, and I just can't type a single word. Dx But now…I think I'm fine.. 8D…I thing. --_--  
**

**Summer time is also busy, and with my piano lessons in the way, I can't update that easily. I'm also part of , so I'm pressured to finish this 100-page comic book script in one month. =.= **

**So, yeah. 8D Please continue reviewing, and it would be very helpful if you point out any grammatical errors and spelling mistakes that my Beta and I might have missed. 8D Thanks. **

**And just for the fun of it, and as my way of saying sorry for taking a long time in my update, I'm including an omake in this chapter. 8D Enjoy.**

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Lavi was bored.

And whenever he gets bored, thousands of really mean pranks enter his head.

Monday morning, Allen Walker woke up and found his hair dyed bright green. Also, every piece of clothing he had was swapped with something frilly or silky. And as if that wasn't enough, the young exorcist found out that the food in the kitchen stockroom mysteriously disappeared, so they were forced to live on instant noodles for the rest of the day. Allen didn't like it. He didn't like wearing lacy lingerie under a frilly maid's uniform either. **No. **He didn't like it at all.

Tuesday morning, Yu Kanda woke up and found his hair dyed hot pink, curled and braided. Also, Mugen was vandalized, and now, the sheath has drawings of cute, little cats on it. And as if that wasn't enough, the soba ran out, and all that was left were a fridge-full of sweets. Kanda didn't like it. He didn't like the outrageous purple ribbons were tied to his hair either. **No. **He didn't like it at all.

Wednesday morning, Lenalee Lee woke up and found out that someone shaved her hair until it was shiny. Also, someone tattooed an "I love Nii-san" at the back of her neck. And as if that wasn't enough, all her clothes had been swapped with a goth's clothes, complete with the piercings, fishnets, tattered jeans, and black make-up. Lenalee didn't like it. She didn't like the stash of marijuana that was stashed in her closet either. **No. **She didn't like it one bit.

Thursday morning, Miranda Lotto woke up and found out that someone had painted her face to make her look like Frankenstein's wife. Also, her hair had been bleached into old grey, and styled in a way that would make Einstein look hygienic. And as if that wasn't enough, all her clothes were swapped with shirts that had "I'm a loser" printed on it. Miranda didn't like it. She didn't like the way someone had painted her Time Record bright orange either. **No.** She didn't like it at all. That's why she wept miserably all day, and attempted suicide thrice.

Friday morning, Alystar Krory woke up and found lots of man-eating flowers in his room. Before he could try being nostalgic (since he took care of them before), the flowers start gnawing at him. Later, (after escaping many near-death experiences) Krory finds out that someone drugged the flowers in order to hear "I hate you" all the time. Krory didn't like it. He didn't like the way the flowers tore his Eliade doll either. **No. **He didn't like it at all.

Saturday morning, Noise Marie woke up and found lots of speakers in his room. And all of them were playing hardcore punk music with three to five swear words in each sentence. Also, someone managed to tie his strings into troublesome knots. And as if that wasn't enough, his collection of Mozart music was stolen, and replaced with rock music from his most hated singer. Marie didn't like it. He didn't like the way most speakers were encrusted to his walls and fortified with titanium (it's virtually indestructible so he can't turn them off). **No. **He didn't like it one bit.

All in all, Lavi liked it. And his boredom was over, so he was now satisfied. On Saturday night, Lavi Bookman slept with a smile on his face.

Sunday morning, he was no longer smiling.

Instead, his hair was dyed hot pink, while half of his head was shaved clean. All that he wore were lacy underwear and a gothic lolita maid's dress. Stitches were drawn on his body using permanent marker, making him look like Frankenstein. Headphones were super-glued to his ears, while attached to a radio where super-loud hardrock music played over and over again. Aside from that, man-eating flowers were placed around his bed. His hands were bound and his mouth gagged. Lastly, an "I'm a loser" was written on his forehead. There's no need to mention how much bruises and wounds he received from being beaten up by five furious exorcist (yes, even Miranda did. She hit him with a feather pillow).

From that day on, Lavi swore never to become bored again.

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**valkyrievamp: Hahahahahahahah!!!**

**Allen and the others: ****-glares-**

**valkyrievamp: Haha…ha…ha……ha…(sweatdrop)**

**Kanda: I'll kill you. I'll really, really kill you bitch! (draws out Mugen)**

**valkyrievamp: WAAHH!! Allen-kun! Allen-kun! Save me!**

**Allen: Yeah, sure I'll save you. I'll do that even if you dyed my hair green and made me wear lacy underwear. I'll save you and kill you in more painful ways (turns to Black Allen)**

**valkyrievamp: ….(sweatdrop) L-Lenalee…?**

**Lenalee: Eh? Are you talking to me, valkyrie-san? (is sharpening her heels)**

**valkyrievamp: …..-gulps- C-come on, guys….(laughs nervously) It's just a joke. No need to be this serious….. (slowly backs away)**

**Krory: I was never fond of jokes (bares fangs)**

**valkyrievamp: Eh??!? Waaah!! Lavi! Lavi! Save me! You know how much I love you, right? Ne?**

**Lavi: Of course, I know. And I love you too. So much is my love for you that I'll personally escort you to hell! (activates Innocence)**

**valkyrievamp: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!**

**(after three hellish hours –there is NO NEED to imagine what happened-)**

**valkyrievamp: (all bruised and bleeding) P-Please….r-review…. (passes out)**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I am so sorry for not updating for so long. D: I thought this summer I would have more time, but in the end my folks kept on dumping summer activities on me like stupid camp and other lame stuff that I can't get on my computer and type this chapter.**

**And WTF is wrong with the goddamn weather? It gets as hot as the Sahara desert in the morning, but when the afternoon comes, it starts raining like the whole Pacific ocean was pouring all over the country or shit like that. Dx It's annoying me. :|**

**But at least my writer's block is disappearing so, yeah. xD This chapter wasn't beta-ed yet, so if there are typos, or the grammar's grating on your nerves, then I would like to apologize in advanced. D:**

**Disclaimer: I don't own D. Gray-Man. But I want it. 8D**

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_Chapter 9_

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Kanda knew something was wrong.

Something was definitely messed up.

But he couldn't figure it out yet, since his head felt like it was being overrun by dozens of bulldozers all at once. _What the fuck? _He thought, both irritation and confusion overcoming him. _What the hell happened?_

The grumpy samurai winced as he opened his eyes, cursing at the painfully bright fluorescent lamp hanging above him. He had no idea where he was, but he was sure that this was definitely _not _his room.

"Hey, Yu. Good thing you're awake. How're ya feeling?"

Kanda's wince automatically morphed into a scowl as he glared at the grinning redhead seated beside him. "I feel worse because you're seated beside me," he growled. "Where the fuck am I?"

"You're in the infirmary, _duh,_" Lavi replied, rolling his eyes. "Really, dude, did you think you were anywhere else? I found you in your room an hour ago with blood gushing out of your head like some morbid spring of death or something. Seriously, what the _hell_?"

"Shut up," Kanda snapped, his face still in a semi grimace as the pain in his forehead failed to recede. "You're giving me a headache."

"You already have that."

"I said, 'Shut. Up.'"

Lavi mockingly stuck out his tongue as the other teen sat up from the bed, wincing in obvious pain. "You really shouldn't get out right now, Yu. The Head nurse will just kick your ass back to the bed. We both know how crazy she can get," Lavi muttered in a low voice, taking a cautious glance around the room in case the nurse might be near enough to hear.

Kanda snorted. "As if. Shut it, stupid rabbit. I'm getting the hell outta here," Kanda hissed, standing up and roughly shouldering Lavi out of his way. He staggered a bit, but was still able to walk just fine. A loud growl came out of his lips as Lavi blocked his way once more.

"No way I'm letting you go without an explanation, Yu," Lavi stated, a deadpan look on his face. "The almighty Yu Kanda found in his room unconscious? With his head bleeding like a cracked egg? That is _so _gonna be a first in World History. I need input from you, of course. I'm still a bookman after all," the redhead explained, expectantly wagging his eyebrows at the grumpy exorcist.

"Read my lips. No. Fucking. Way," Kanda snarled. "Now, _move._" He said it with so much venom that Lavi had no choice but to instinctively stepped away. "Che," the samurai huffed, satisfied that his order was followed without any difficulties, before making his way towards the door.

"I know Allen's involved in this somehow," Lavi suddenly declared, making Kanda immediately stop in his tracks and turn to the redhead with a stunned expression. The young bookman smirked, knowing that he was into something juicy. "Gotcha," he snidely remarked. "You're reaction was a definite affirmative, Yu. Never knew you had it in you to purposely bash your head on the wall for your beloved beansprout's sake."

Kanda gave him in incredulous look. "_Beloved _beansprout?" he spat the word out with much distaste. "What shit are you spouting, you dumbass? And how the hell should you know what happened to my head? You weren't there."

Lavi rolled his visible green eye. "Dude, I'm a bookman remember? Do you think we get to record stuff like World History through observations alone? 'Course not," he replied, looking offended by the mere idea of his clan being so unprofessional. "I asked around, _duh. _Some finders saw Allen go into your room some time before midnight, and then rush out ten to twenty minutes later like the hounds of hell were chasing him or something." He paused and gave Kanda a teasingly dirty look. "What did you do to my Allen, you bastard?"

"'my Allen' my ass," Kanda deadpanned. "Stop being such a fag, you fucktard."

"I've got the hots for Allen, and you know it. So what? As if half of the Order's congregation ain't gay," Lavi retorted, shrugging unabashedly. "But seriously, what did you do to Allen? Don't tell me you raped him, Yu," he darkly muttered, his expression turning deadly. " 'Cause even if I consider you my best friend, I am absolutely gonna kill ya if you had any form of nonconsensual sex with my lil' angel."

"Don't you have anything else to do?" Kanda glared, thoroughly annoyed with what Lavi was insinuating. "Like, maybe start looking for your fucking mind, 'cause you've obviously lost it?" Kanda started walking out the door.

"Hey, don't change the topic!" Lavi half-shouted, roughly grabbing Kanda's arm. "You didn't deny anything yet! C'mon Yu! Just tell me the truth! Did you or did you not have sex with Allen?"

"What the fucking kind of question is that?" Kanda hissed, ready to headbutt the damn redhead, but was stopped by Lavi's serious expression. "Damn this shit. I didn't fucking rape your boy toy, you sick fag. Now, quit touching me."

Lavi immediately released Kanda's arm, a bright smile on his lips. "I never really doubted you, you know," he chirped, earning another glare from the other male. "But something must have happened to make Allen run off like that. Did you do something freaky? Like maybe _kiss_ him?"

Kanda was about to deny it, but an image suddenly flashed across his mind. His mouth stopped, and his eyes widened ever so slightly. _Holy shit, _he thought as he started to remember bits and pieces of what _exactly _happened last night. He stared at Lavi – who eyed him curiously – for a few seconds, before turning around and almost making a run for the door. "Whatever," was the last thing the bookman heard the resounding sound of a door being slammed shut echoed all throughout the room.

The one-eyed boy stared at the newly placed cracks on the door for a few moments before grinning widely. "He didn't deny it," Lavi mused, licking his lips. "I'm really curious about what's going on between those two."

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Kanda walked – or staggered – through the corridors, glaring at every single person who dared give him a curious look. "Damn," Kanda muttered, wishing that he had the hands to at least clutch his aching forehead. The events of last night started coming back to him, much to the boy's displeasure. He didn't want to remember any of it. It made him feel a foreign feeling that wasn't actually unpleasant, but it wasn't comfortable either. And Kanda hated discomfort when it came to his feelings. He didn't like it when things didn't go his way. He hated it when his life is suddenly disrupted by annoying stuff. Stuff like cursed white-haired beansprouts for example.

His tongue consciously ran over his pale lips, and he winced, as he tasted that same, disturbingly luscious taste once again. So it was not a dream at all. _Damn_.

He could remember everything now, and the first thing Kanda wanted to do was to find Allen and beat the hell out of the damn beansprout. Hell yes, he was a good kisser all right, but hell _no,_ he didn't have the right to kiss him while Kanda was goddamn sleeping. _And he doesn't have the right to do that when I'm awake either, _he instantly added as an afterthought, in case his not-too-stable mind started getting the wrong idea. _Yeah, damn it, _fine_, that brat is not at all bad looking. He's got the prettiest grey eyes I've ever seen, and even if his hair still pisses me off, it ain't bad when the moon hits it. His face is too fucking girly for a boy but it still looks good on him, though I won't mind punching the lights out of him as soon as get my hands back to normal. Shit, his body is not unattractive too, _Kanda started ranting inside his mind. _I'm thinking all this but, NO, I am not gay. _

_Oh, really? _A tiny, imaginary voice in his mind rebuked. _You sounded gay to me. _

_Shut up, _Kanda mentally snarled. _This is the first time I've complimented someone this much and you're accusing me of being gay? What the fuck? Are you a retard?_

…_You really shouldn't be asking me that, you know._ Kanda could almost imagine the voice smirking, if that was actually possible.

Kanda released a menacing growl that automatically made those walking by him move a safe twenty meters away. "Hey. You," he snapped at one unfortunate finder who was three feet too close. "Have you seen that beansprout?"

The finder gulped and a tear of sweat rolled down his cheek. "B-Beansprout? The man weakly asked, knowing nothing about what Kanda was talking about. Kanda hissed in annoyance, making the unlucky finder warily make a step away. "That damn small exorcist. _Allen Walker_," Kanda repeated, getting more pissed off by the fact that he actually had to say that idiot beansprout's name.

"Ah, I-I saw h-him in the d-dining hall thirty minutes ago," the finder stammered.

"Che," Kanda grumbled before walking away from the petrified finder. _Stuffing himself again and again…fatass bastard. _Kanda hurriedly stomped towards the cafeteria, a malevolent ambiance surrounding him. _I'll kick him to death. I swear I will. _

--------------------------------

Allen felt happier now.

Well, actually, it was his stomach that was happier. Allen himself felt superbly miserable.

"I'll say sorry," he muttered, eating one dango. "No, I won't." And he ate another dango. "I'll say sorry," and another dango disappeared. "No, I won't," he stated, eating the second-to-the-last piece on the plate. The white-haired boy solemnly stared at the remaining dango with tortured silver-grey eyes. "I'll…say sorry, I guess," he sighed in resignation, taking the dango and devouring it with one bite.

"Hell yeah, you should."

Allen almost jumped out his seat as the painfully familiar voice entered his ears. His eyes immediately clamped shut, afraid to acknowledge the presence of the other male. "K-K-Kanda? Is that you?" he weakly asked, praying to St. Jude – patron saint of lost cases – that he was wrong.

"Uh, _no_, this is Satan and I'm taking you to hell, you damned beansprout," came the growling reply. "Who the fucking else did you think I was?"

"Er, maybe someone who's _not _you?" Allen snapped, retrieving his guts as his annoyance towards Kanda's speech came back to him. "And it's _Allen. _A-L-L-E-N. Do I need to write that down for you, since your small brain can't handle the stress of remembering it?"

Kanda's eyes narrowed. "That's a real good way to start your apology, _beansprout_," he growled. "Keep it up and maybe I won't forgive you."

"Did you even plan to forgive me in the first place?" Allen irritably asked.

"Probably," Kanda shrugged, but then caught the look of complete shock on Allen's face. He scowled, offended. "Well, guess what? I changed my mind," he grumbled, glaring at the other boy. "I think I'll kick your ass now."

"Wait!" Allen smacked his forehead. "Okay! Okay! Sorry for snapping like that! Your face just pisses me off for some unknown reason," Allen flinched as he watched the look on Kanda's face grow murderous. Okay, so that was _not _the right thing to say. "Fine, sorry! I'm sorry for what happened last night even if it was your fault and—"

"Wait. Hold one damn minute," Kanda interrupted. "_My _fault? How the hell would it be my fault? I was fucking _asleep_, dipshit. There's no way that was consensual on my side."

"Can you at least censor yourself once in a while?" Allen sighed in exasperation. "And yes, it's your fault since you were the one whose supposedly 'dead' hands suddenly grabbed my head and pulled it towards your face," he stated in a hushed voice, rendering Kanda speechless for a few seconds.

"_What?_" he gaped at the shorter boy in disbelief.

"I said, you were the one who started it all," Allen muttered with impatience, feeling annoyed for being asked to repeat what he just said. "That time, when your hands first moved, I lied about what actually happened. You didn't punch me," he continued, his voice growing smaller and smaller. "You _kissed _me."

"That's bullshit, beansprout."

"I'm not fooling around," Allen replied with a deadpan expression that had no traces of humor in it. "It's the truth. And you've done that thrice, only the third time… well I," Allen paused, looking away as a heavy blush appeared on his face. "I…wasn't able to help myself and got a bit carried away," he finished, his voice barely audible. He somehow hoped that Kanda didn't get to hear the last part clearly.

But Kanda heard every damn word. And even he had the brains to avert his eyes while his face grew hotter by the second.

"Shit, this is so messed up," the older boy muttered after a full minute of awkward silence.

"I know that already."

"Shut the fuck up. I need to think."

"Whoa, never knew you could do that," Allen mused, getting the urge to be cheeky at the wrong time.

"What the fuck? You just confessed to almost raping me in my sleep, and now you're acting like a total bitch," Kanda growled, glaring at the cursed boy.

"I was just stating a fact, you jerk."

"What part of your goddamn sentence was a fact, dickweed?"

"The part where you didn't have a brain, prick."

"Alright, forget forgiveness," Kanda snarled, flexing his legs. "I am _so_ gonna kick your cursed ass."

"Oh really? Let's see you try."

A thick aura of hatred and murder began to envelope the two, warning all those nearby to move away if they value what's left of their insignificant lives. Kanda heatedly glared at Allen, and the younger boy mirrored his actions. But before they can snap each other's heads off, a shrill voice caught their attention.

"Allen!"

The two boys turned towards the direction of a Chinese girl who was moving towards them. "Komui's looking for you," Lenalee explained. "He's got a mission for you and Lavi, and he wants you to stop babysitting Kanda from now on," she continued, grinning at Kanda who scowled at her in return. "He said, and I quote," Lenalee added, her voice dropping a couple of octaves as she imitated her brother's voice. "'Kanda could survive without Allen unless he's gay and they're totally having sex behind my back'."

Allen almost threw up all of his breakfast while Kanda growled menacingly.

"Can I kill your brother, Lenalee? Can I?" Kanda hissed, his eyes downright murderous. "Please?" There. Now he should definitely be allowed to kill Komui. He never liked begging, and rarely said _please_, but for this one time, he knew it would be worth it if he could shut that fucktard in a box forever.

"Sorry Kanda, but _no,_" the Chinese girl chirped and hooked an arm around Allen's own, whereas the cursed boy was still stunned by the idea of he and Kanda having sex. "Let's go, Allen. Stop acting like someone just stole your soul, or you'll end up looking guilty."

Allen snapped back to reality. "Guilty of what?" he asked, eyeing Lenalee suspiciously.

"Guilty of having sex with Kanda, of course," she sweetly replied, and started running before Kanda could react, dragging Allen along with her.

------------------------------

"Lenalee, I don't know about Kanda – his hair says _so_ much about his sexuality – but I'm _not _gay. Please don't mistake mere camaraderie with romance," Allen protested as he and Lenalee walked towards Komui's office. "I'm serious. I'd rather lose my virginity to a rock, than have sex with Kanda."

Allen didn't like how his words were coming out of his mouth. It sounded as if he was trying to convince his _self _than convincing Lenalee.

"You sound like you're not so sure Allen," the girl teased, giving the boy a suggestive smile. "It's as if you're convincing yourself."

Allen blushed, and crossed his arms over his chest in defiance. "What are you saying? Forgive me for saying this, but did Komui know that you have quite a dirty mind?"

"Oh, shut up," Lenalee sighed, flicking Allen's forehead with a finger. "You two argue like a problematic couple. And now with you spending much time in Kanda's room, it's hard not to have ideas like that. That's the reality of this world, Allen." They stopped in front of a black-coated mahogany door.

"What a stupid reality," Allen muttered under his breath. Lenalee threw him a dirty look before opening the door. "Brother! Allen's here," Lenalee announced as she and the boy walked into the cluttered office.

"Hey Allen," a red-haired boy greeted him with a casual wave.

"Lavi!" the grey-eyed boy exclaimed, hurriedly taking a seat beside his friend. "It's been weeks since I last saw you!"

"Same here, Al," Lavi replied, a smirk on his lips as he ran a tongue over his lower lip. "Same here."

Allen frowned at the strange look Lavi was giving him, but before he could ask about it, Komui loudly cleared his throat to catch their attention.

"Alright," he started, gesturing at the huge world map behind him. "Now that Allen's here, we can start with the briefing," he paused and took a piece of paper from his chaotic desk. "This mission takes place in Cairo, Egypt," he started. "Apparently, a small alabaster statue of Anubis was discovered in the Great Pyramid of Giza two weeks ago, and it started attracting akuma all of a sudden. We think that the statue might contain the Innocence fragment."

Allen raised his hand. Komui raised an eyebrow. "Yes, Allen?"

"How is it that the akuma haven't taken over the place yet? It's been two weeks, after all," he asked.

"Ah, well," Komui explained. "The Innocence seems to have the ability to summon rather violent sandstorms. All the akuma trying to enter are either blown away or destroyed. But we don't think that the Noah would be deterred by a mere sandstorm. That's why since the probability of a Noah being involved is high we had got no choice but to send you. And you need Lavi since he's the most knowledgeable when it comes to ancient places like the pyramids of Egypt."

"Oh. Okay," Allen muttered, frowning at the thought of meeting other Noah. The last time he had seem them was during the battle in Noah's Ark. According to Kanda, Tyki Mikk was back to normal. And so probably Road was the same. The frown on the boy's face deepened. So did that mean that even his Innocence could not exorcise the evil from the Noah?

"You're Innocence is effective in going against them, Allen," Lavi suddenly commented, as if reading the other boy's mind. "You've got the weapon but you don't have the means," the bookman shrugged. "Exorcising something as ancient as the Noah is not something as simple as just stabbing them with a holy sword. My guess is that there's a ritual or something complex involved."

"Hmm," Allen thought about it, and presumed that Lavi was probably right. It worked a little with Tyki, but it was clearly ineffective against Road. He remembered that moment when he had stabbed her with the sword, but nothing happened. "_Only those who knows my true form can kill me,"_ he remembered her stating.

"You're to depart as soon as you're ready," Komui stated. "You can read through the whole report during the trip. It's best if you go now."

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"Hey, Lavi, wait."

Lavi turned his head towards the shorter, white-haired boy approaching him. "What's up, Al? Maybe you can keep it short or something since I've gotta get packin' an' all," he grinned.

"Ah, okay," Allen replied, looking slightly uncomfortable. "Uhm, I was gonna ask about something that happened in Komui's office. It kept bugging me, I thought I'd just have to ask you about it."

"About what?" Lavi asked, feigning ignorance since he knew exactly what the boy was talking about.

"About that look you gave me," Allen continued, frowning. "You looked as if you know something."

"Oh, _really_?" Lavi mused, his one eye holding a mischievous gleam. "What do you thing I know? And is it something really important?" He continued, determined to tease the young boy more.

"C'mon Lavi," Allen complained, getting annoyed. He paused, then decided to take a different approach. He set his lips in a cute pout, and made the best puppy dog eyes he could pull off. "Please tell me."

The redhead licked his lips. God, the boy was _so _cute when he did that. It made Lavi want him more. Too bad Yu's already got a head start. _Oh well, _he thought, smirking. _I'm sexy enough to be a worthy rival. _

Lavi moved closer to Allen and abruptly leaned towards the younger boy's ear. "You're one naughty boy, Allen," he whispered in a sexy voice. He moved his head so that there were barely any millimeters between his and Allen's face. Allen stared at Lavi with a shell-shocked expression, which the bookman only respond to with a grin.

"You kissed Yu, didn't ya?"

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**A/N: Ah…Lavi. I love you for being such the cynical jerk you were made to be. But Kanda's still my fave bastard so I'm not making this Laven. :P This is purely Yullen, love.**

**LOL, I just thought about it now, but if Laven is Lavi/Allen; Yullen is Kanda/Allen; Lucky is Lavi/Tyki; then what's Kanda/Tyki? Is it Yucky? xD Don't sue me! I'm not against Tyki/Kanda love! D: I'm actually a supporter, and I'm planning to write a fic about them in the future, it's just that I don't know what to call the pairing! Dx **

**I can't write an omake now since I'm not inspired. D: That omake in the last chapter was inspired by my brother poured pink paint on my sister's hair by accident. D: That's where I got the idea of pranks and lulz. xD But now I'm out of ideas. Maybe you can suggest some? 8D I'd be happy to write about them all. XD**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I. AM. SO. SO. SO. SORRY. **

**IT'S BEEN YEARS. SINCE I LAST UPDATED. I AM SINCERELY SO SO SO SORRY ABOUT ALL OF THIS. **

**Instead of wasting your time with my apologies, here is the update you've all been waiting for since 2009. I know that I am the worst person ever, and I will humbly accept all the stones you decide to throw at me. Please, don't hold back. I deserve it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own DGM. **

And there he was again.

Allen eagerly leaned towards those deliciously soft lips, leaving all his morals and principles behind. He knew he shouldn't be doing this anymore, but this teenage lust of his was driving him crazy. The boy somewhat knew that he was weak-willed when it came to food, but never had he imagined himself to be so weak against other bodily desires.

Nevertheless, the cursed boy couldn't bring himself to regret what he was doing. Nor could he bring himself to stop.

Kanda was…just so _delicious. _

His fingers trembled with excitement as he grabbed and caressed the man's beautifully soft skin, moaning softly at the ripples of pleasure brought about by their tongues emerged in a passionate battle.

Allen moaned again as the other man's calloused hands grazed over his flushed skin, moving towards his bare chest and brushing against a sensitive nipple. The white-haired youth let out a startled but pleasurable gasp, breaking the kiss as he arched his back, inviting the other to touch him even more.

The pleasure was so intoxicating. Allen wanted _more. _God, he wanted _all _of Kanda.

Open his glazed eyes, Allen looked up to look at the face of the older teen, expecting to see dark, silky hair and piercingly wonderful midnight blue eyes.

"Wha…?"

Allen's eyes flew wide open as he stared at the mass of red hair and the smirking face of a one-eyed man.

"L-L-Lavi?" He almost screamed, as he jumped away from the other man, a completely startled look on his face. _What…what's going on? _His mind frantically asked, almost going insane when he found out that wasn't wearing _anything _except his black boxers. This induced him to a rather amusing state of shock, and even the cold wind coming from the open window could not snap him out of his trauma-induced reverie.

A chuckle came from the opposite direction, and immediately, the boy's head snapped towards the laughing redhead. This whole scenario was even more devastating than the Earl's announcement of destroying the world. Why the bloody hell was Lavi laughing? "What's going on, Lavi?" Allen asked, his voice grave as he threateningly pointed his left hand at the young bookman. "Don't tell me you were trying to rape me in my sleep, because if you were, even if you're my friend, I will _kill _you, and I won't even need the Fourteenth to coach me through that," he added, gritting his teeth as he grabbed the blanket with his right hand and pulled it over his half-naked body.

"Oi, oi, don't ya kill me for somethin' I didn't do," Lavi retorted, putting his arms up in defense. "You were the one who started it."

The cursed boy's eyes took on a bewildered look, his left hand dropping. "Huh?"

"Ya heard me right, Allen, darling," the redhead snickered as he reached for his shirt on the floor. "I just went into your room a while ago, since it was really cold and I wanted to snuggle with ya for some body warmth," the bookman grinned. "An' before I knew it, ya were already _kissing _me."

It was a good thing that the room was dark at that moment, or else Lavi would have seen Allen's face take in several shades of red. _Oh dear, _the younger boy thought. _Was I having a flashback of some kind? Like the withdrawal syndrome drug addicts have when they stop taking drugs? But I'm not taking drugs! I'm just…just…addicted to a certain someone…_

Gulping loudly, Allen took a deep breath and threw away his thoughts before they can turn into something unpleasant. "Why didn't you stop me?" Allen questioned Lavi, narrowing his eyes as he glared at him with an accusing expression. "You could have stopped me if you wanted to. It would have been so easy for you…so, why didn't you stop me?"

"Allen, love, if ya had been in my place, I doubt that ya'd try stopping yourself," the redhead snorted, ignoring the glare his friend shot at him. Then a rather lewd smile replaced his usual grin. "But Al, babe, you're one hot kisser, and damn your moans are a huge turn-on! I can't believe Yuu got to have that same kind of treatment _thrice!_" He whined and pouted like some thoroughly disturbing child. "It's unfair! How is he better than the great and awesome me?"

Allen rolled his eyes, using his last bits of self-control to stop himself from revealing the long list of reasons on why Kanda was better than the chatterbox bookman.

"Lavi," he started, taking a deep breath once again. "You've got thirty seconds to get out of my room. If you're not out after thirty seconds, I will use Crown Clown and escort you out myself, with the least amount of care possible."

"Aww, Allen, don't be so cold now. Why can't we continue what we were doing?" Lavi purred, starting to lean closer to the white-haired boy. "You liked it, didn't you? I could always make you feel _so much _better—"

"Twenty seconds," Allen growled, inching away from the bookman. "Fifteen. Fourteen. Thirteen. Twelve. Eleven. Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven—"

"Alright, alright, I'm going already," Lavi sighed, realizing that the other boy's sexual drive was over. He jumped off the bed and slipped on his clothes with such skill and speed that Allen couldn't help but wonder whether Lavi had practice in this sort of thing. You know, leaving his one-night stand partners before his grandfather could catch him with a naked woman in the same bed. "See ya later, Allen. Try not to dream about Yuu too much. Ya were moaning his name a while ago ya know," he grinned, winking at Allen's shocked face before silently slipping out of the room.

Allen stayed there on the bed, clutching the blanket around himself as he pondered on what form of suicide was the quickest and least painful.

Kanda was having a hard time sleeping, despite the heavy dose of sleeping pills he had stolen from the Infirmary. If Komui found out…not if the _Head Nurse_ found out, _she_ would kill him, but that was none of his concern at the moment.

His real concern was _Allen. _And what the fuck that idiot rabbit was doing to him.

It was all too sudden, really. How they were suddenly separated like that. He didn't even have a chance to say "goodbye" or "I hope you die out there" to the damn beansprout, and the only time he knew about the mission was through the note that Lavi had left on his bed:

_I'll totally make Allen mine here in Egypt. So till then, don't ya try to kill yourself again, 'kay? Ciao and see ya in a couple o' months! Allen won't be a virgin by then. – Lavi_

Kanda was already planning out how to effectively strangle that stupid redhead with his feet the moment they came back from their mission.

_Fuck this shit, _the swordsman inwardly growled as he hoisted himself up and started pacing around his room like crazy. He had already thrown the note into a fire, but its contents deeply disturbed him in a way that deeply disturbed him as well. He hated it, how it was, whenever he attempted to sleep or even close his eyes, images of Lavi having his way with Allen would always pop out. And whenever they do, he would always have this overwhelming desire to _grab_ Mugen. If only he could. _God, _if only.

Okay, okay, maybe a part of him had already somewhat admitted that he _liked_ the white-haired boy, but _oh hell no_ was he _that_ infatuated with him to actually feel _jealous. _And towards the idiot rabbit, of all people.

_This is just a fucking phase, goddammit! I'm just fucking horny, that's all!_ He desperately wanted to rationalize everything he was feeling because it was driving him crazy, this lack of understanding (or acceptance) for his own emotions. He wasn't even supposed to _have_ any emotions, damn it! He was a soldier! An exorcist! A religious tool for vanquishing akuma! He wasn't supposed to succumb to these "human" moments! He wasn't even _human_ for heaven's sake!

The thought abruptly stopped him from walking.

That was it.

He wasn't _human. _

He can't fall in love. He's not allowed to.

Because he…

Images of the past flashed across his mind, pictures in grayscale, of a young boy with a brilliantly warm smile, all splattered in red. Always, eternally _red._

A bitter smile stretched on his lips, and he finally found the resolve to suppress his unwanted feelings for the white-haired exorcist. A kiss or two (or three) was harmless enough. But he was not in love with Allen. He _cannot _fall in love with Allen.

Because loving him would mean dragging the boy down to those bloodstained pits as well, and Kanda would rather die than stain that _beautiful_ face with the _red_ that he had been living with all these years.

Inwardly, he scolded his immobile arms. Even unconsciously, they had no _right_ to touch Allen _at all_.

"Good morning, love."

Allen almost dropped his cup of coffee and hissed as some of the hot liquid spilled on his hand. _Damn it, _he inwardly groaned, last night's events unwillingly flashing through his mind. The boy looked down on the inn's wooden floor, looking for a hole that might swallow him up.

"You don't look good. Are you sick?" Lavi asked, taking the seat across Allen and staring at the boy with curious eyes. As Allen fidgeted in his seat, a spark of realization appeared in Lavi's green eye. "Hey, this is about last night, isn't it?" He asked, snickering. "Don't worry 'bout it, Al, babe. I won't tell anyone about this. And believe me when I say that Yuu is the last person who'd find out about what happened. I don't know what he'll do to you, but I think I'll get killed off first. And I'm too sexy to die, Allen. This miserable world needs more awesomeness like me."

"Ugh, Lavi, can you tone down your ego a bit?" Allen sighed in exasperation. It has hard to deal with the bookman so early in the morning, especially when he didn't have that much sleep (mostly due to the fact that the all-too-familiar image of Kanda's sleeping face kept on appearing in his mind whenever he closed his eyes).

"Can't. It's already built in at this level," the bookman smirked, and made a swooping movement to steal the other boy's bacon. What stopped him however, was a fork, so skillfully wedged in between his middle and forefinger, pinning down the cloth of his glove and _almost_ cutting his skin. An ominous aura appeared in front of him. "You know Lavi," Allen spoke, and the redhead almost cringed at the killing intent in his voice. "You may steal a kiss, but you may _not_, in any circumstances, steal my _food._ Or else I'll kill you. Got it?"

"Y-Yes, got it, " Lavi nervously agreed. Allen was smiling politely, but the bookman could see the shadow of demon right behind him. He inwardly shuddered.

"Good," the younger exorcist chirped, and the food on his plate disappeared before Lavi can even heave a sigh of relief. "Now that we've got that cleared, how about we stop horsing around and finally discuss the mission, hm?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"So what's in Giza, anyway?" Allen asked as he took out the mission details, carefully folded, from his pocket. He had been to many, many places because of Cross' erratic traveling adventures, but Egypt was not one of them. Actually, the closest he had gone to that place was India, before Cross finally got fed up with the heat and lack of decent alcohol and traveled back to Europe. "We're going to a pyramid right?" The boy racked his brain for anything he might have read from a book somewhere. "That's where they bury their kings, right?"

"Yep," The bookman replied, amused at the expression Allen was making as he tried to recall what he could about Egypt. "Keep goin'."

"And there's supposed to be a lot of treasure buried with them, right?" A strange glint suddenly appeared on the younger boy's eyes, and this made Lavi laugh quite loudly, much to Allen's disdain. "I think you're missing the point here, babe," he mused. "We're going to the Innocence remember? That's what we're here for."

"Don't call me 'babe'," Allen grumbled, blushing. He couldn't help thinking about all the gold and jewels that might be lying around in there. If his calculations were correct, a whole chest of rubies could pay off half of his debts, and a whole crate of golden idol statues would then pay for the rest. _Then _maybe, his hair would finally go back to its healthy, light brown color. "And yes, I know that we're after the Innocence, Lavi. I'm just trying to be economical, you know. It's not like we get paid a lot as Exorcists."

Actually, do they even get paid _at all_? Where were his paychecks for the past months? He needed to see Komui about this ASAP.

"Well, yeah, whatever," the bookman dismissed. "Anyway, this pyramid we're in have been invaded and looted by countless bandits throughout the decades so I doubt that there's any treasure left." Lavi stifled a laugh at the disappointed look that was so obvious on Allen's face. "The pyramid, however, is a very tricky place. Its surface is actually made of a very resistant kind of rock that can even withstand explosions, so it's useless to try to bust our way into it. We'll have to actually walk through the front door, and try to find out way through the labyrinth inside."

"Labyrinth?"

"Yup. The inside's a huge fuckin' maze that has numerous booby traps in it. Lots of thieves lost their lives in there, though the smarter ones managed, not only to get out in one piece, but also to bring out treasure. The traps are also one of the reasons why archeologists couldn't study the structure well enough. They've lost a lot of people inside too. However," Lavi motioned at the mission documents Allen had placed on the table. "These disappearances are a little too much to be blamed simply on the traps. And the violent sandstorm's definitely Innocence-made."

"How'd the Innocence get in it, then?" Allen asked, frowning. There was something missing about the information they had, but he just couldn't put his finger on it.

"It's probably been there for thousands of years. The Egyptians probably thought it was a sacred jewel or something, and it was part of their custom to bury everything sacred with the pharaoh of that dynasty," Lavi carefully replied, avoiding Allen's eyes. "I think it was asleep or inactive till now." He wasn't able to mention to Komui about this one observation he had after the Fourteenth had started to awaken inside of Allen. For some reason, Innocence that had long been inactive for hundreds, even thousands of years, started to stir. As if something was forcing them to wake up.

_What was it? _The bookman had no idea yet, but he was definitely going to find out, sooner or later.

"Huh. That's odd. Why'd it only wake up _now?_" Allen asked. Lavi simply shrugged in reply. "I dunno. I guess we'll just have to find out for ourselves, huh?"

Allen had a bad feeling about this mission, but he just kept it to himself at the moment. He didn't want to give unnecessary speculations, especially when he didn't have anything to base them on besides his gut feeling, and that was definitely not enough.

"So what's the plan?"

"Oh, nothin' complicated, I guess," Lavi mused, as his neglected cup of coffee suddenly seemed to distract him. "We get in, try to survive, get the Innocence, and then get out. Oh, and if Noah appeared, just kick their assess for me, 'kay? And if that Tyki Mikk fella appears, try to at least cut off one of his arms, you know, to avenge your beloved _ba-Kanda_," the bookman teased, mimicking the way Allen called the swordsman. "Missing him, huh? It's only been, what, three days, you were having wet dreams about him already!"

"Shut up!" Allen exclaimed, blushing furiously. It was an extremely interesting expression, and it made Lavi laugh again, though, it did sting a bit to realize that only Kanda could enact such a reaction out of the younger boy. _Early bird takes the worm, huh?_

"Jeez, Lavi!" Allen grumbled, not appreciating the laughter that came out of the other man. "Stop it already! It's nothing like that. I don't have any special feelings for Kanda and –"

"So you're saying all of this is just plain physical attraction?" Lavi tested, idly licking his lips. "You're just horny, that's all?"

"Oh, don't say it like that! Ugh, I've got enough of this. I'm going back to my room."

Lavi didn't say anything to stop the boy from storming out of the ship's restaurant, and simply watched him as he made his way past the crowded tables, his face still red as ever. It was really cute to see Allen embarrassed like that. Will that be the same face he makes in bed doing you-know-what? Lavi was just _dying _to know.

Nevertheless, he wasn't _that_ bad to force himself upon Allen. He realized it, when Allen had furiously denied any feelings for Kanda, that he was already too late in capturing the younger exorcist's heart. It hurt a bit though, and unlike Allen, he wasn't going to keep on denying it. He knew that Kanda had come to terms with his own attraction as well (_how _he knew this was a secret), though, knowing Kanda, he'd probably come up with some stupid reason not to acknowledge his feelings. That was just the kind of idiot his friend was.

_The same would probably happen to Allen, though_. Lavi's mouth cracked into a sad smile as he sipped the last of his cold coffee. These two morons were just too alike in that category. They had both once lost someone they loved dearly, and now they are afraid that happening again. Which is why they shut everything out, to protect themselves. _What a bunch of selfish bastards, _the bookman mused. _Life's short and they'll never know when it'll end. It sucks to have regrets, ya know? _

Lavi knew that more than anyone else. He was a bookman (in training) after all. He had seen much, experienced much. And lost a lot. He knew the feeling of regret more than anyone.

"Allen, love," he whispered to no one. "Don't make the same mistake I once made."

Allen lied down on his bed, staring holes on the ceiling as he tried to get the image of Kanda's face (specifically, his _lips_) out of his mind. He was tired, and he _really_ needed some good sleep, but even if he was already a continent away from the swordsman, he was still keeping the poor boy up at night.

_Good Lord, am I really this addicted to him?_

The answer was "yes" and all facets of his mind repeated it in annoying chorus of affirmatives. He turned his body to face the wall, but that did nothing to help. He could still see Kanda everywhere. _Oh darn it, where is Cross' hammer when you need it? _He inwardly groaned as he gave up all hope for peace and quiet and stood up to pace around the room. Timcampy idly followed him, perplexed at what its master was doing. It bit and pulled on locks of Allen's hair to get his attention, until finally, quite fed up with what his golem was doing, the exorcist grabbed the flying mass and gave it an irritated glare. "What is it?" He hissed, and the golem fought under his hold. "Come on, Timcampy, stop throwing a tantrum. What is it?"

Right then, the right half of the ship exploded.

**A/N: So there. Finally. **

**It's been a loooooooooong time. I know. I just, sort of, honestly, lost the muse for this story, especially when DGM went into that long hiatus and Kanda supposedly dies, and when he did, my heart and all my creativity died as well.**

**Until yesterday.**

**When I found the courage to check on the DGM manga updates and discovered, to my extreme shock, that there were like, 10 new chapters. And that Kanda actually lives and is more handsome and beautiful than ever. **

**And so my muse is back from the afterlife. And I live.**

**Because of this I'll probably be updating more often again. My fingers won't stop typing, and as I am writing this author's note, my mind is already making the next chapter. **

**I understand if you hate me for taking soooo long to update. But please, don't hate the story. I hope to see your lovely and encouraging reviews once more. 3  
**


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